Quick to Listen

I have to start with a funny story. We have been visiting my family in northwest Ohio all week. Yesterday we took the kids out to see the farm animals. Jeremiah and Maiesha rode in the tractor with Uncle Adam while we walked back to the house. He was pulling a wagon full of wood that Adam and my Dad had just collected in the woods. Adam pulled out the ax to split a few pieces before transferring them to his truck. Jeremiah says to Maiesha, "Wow, look at that a**. Uncle Adam has a really big a**." Adam overheard the conversation and said, "I think you mean ax. I have a really big ax." Jeremiah replied, "Oh, yeah, that's what I meant." They are so facinated by the interesting things they see out here on the farm.

We had dinner out with Adam, my younger brother by 3 years, and his wife Jessica last night. They will celebrate their one year wedding anniversary on January 8. Adam was married for 7 years to his first wife and he has 2 beautiful daughters, Makayla and Gretchen. Jessica has a son, Adryan, and they have all become one big happy blended family. This is only the third time we have met Jessica so we are still in the getting to know you phase of our relationship. I don't see her as my sister-in-law yet, but more like my brother's new wife. It has been great spending time with them and getting to know her. Our conversation flowed easily last night and we did not lack for topics to talk about. (For any Sienfeld fans - we didn't have any awkward pauses. LOL) It was nice to sit and talk with newlyweds. You can learn from their perspective and recent pre-marital counseling wisedom, and we can share our more seasoned perspective with them.

I think, no I know, God appointed our conversation last night. I have learned over the years to become a better listener. I have taken James 1:19 to heart "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,..." This is really hard for me however, since I am a type A personality and I looove to talk. God has really shown me the value of listening and how I can be a better friend, spouse, mom, etc by just listening. It is not always my job to dish out my opinion and my advice when others are talking to me. It may be that I actually need to HEAR what God is telling me through another person. (What a novel idea. I am also incredible sarcastic which can get me into trouble too.)

There tends to be a great deal of repetition in my life when God is trying to teach me something. So the lesson I took away from last night, aside from just spending time with my brother and his wife, was I must trust God in other people's situations just like I must trust him in my own. I don't have to "fix" other people's problems and work to come up with solutions for them. The best thing I can do is pray for God to direct their path just as I ask him to direct my own. As I pray for them I also pray for myself that I will only share my thoughts and opinions with them as God leads me to do so and otherwise, I will just be a listener so I know how to better pray for them.

Boy, oh boy, is that the hardest thing I ever have to do, but if I trust God for the details in my own life, why in the world would I not trust him for the details in anyone else's life. I have to acknowledge that He is in control and His shoulders are more than big enough to carry all our burdens. I must spend some serious time meditating on Isaiah 55. This life is not about me. It is all about him and I simply get the privilege, by his design, to be one very small part of God's production.
¹ “Come, all you who are thirsty,
   come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
   come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
   without money and without cost.
² Why spend money on what is not bread,
   and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
   and you will delight in the richest of fare.
³ Give ear and come to me;
   listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
   my faithful love promised to David.
⁴ See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
   a ruler and commander of the peoples.
⁵ Surely you will summon nations you know not,
   and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the LORD your God,
   the Holy One of Israel,
   for he has endowed you with splendor.”
 ⁶ Seek the LORD while he may be found;
   call on him while he is near.
⁷ Let the wicked forsake their ways
   and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on them,
   and to our God, for he will freely pardon.
 ⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.
¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
   come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
   without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
   so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
   It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
   and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
¹² You will go out in joy
   and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
   will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
   will clap their hands.
¹³ Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
   and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the LORD’s renown,
   for an everlasting sign,
   that will endure forever.”

Loving Strangers

Maiesha had a field trip to Brookstone Assisted Living facility on Wednesday to sing Christmas carols. It always tugs at my heart when I go to places like that. It was so quick though. We were in and out in 30 minutes. I did talk to one resident only because she was next to me on her motorized scooter. I used to be down right afraid of "old people". It was kinda creepy. It smelled funny. I didn't have much to say since I didn't know any of them. It was a great excuse to stay away.

Ever since I had to occassional opportunity to help take care of my grandpa before he died, I have a new appreciation for the elderly. I see them differently. They just need someone to love them like anyone does. So many seem to be forgotten whether in a facility or still at home. I decided I could make a difference this Christmas season. As our gift to Jesus for his birthday, the kids and I visited Brookstone and another facility called Katherine's Place today. I baked 12 dozen cookies last night - half sugar free and half regular. Jeremiah and Maiesha put them in ziplock bags.

We talked about what we were going to do on the way to Katherine's Place. They were excited to deliver cookies and visit grandmas and grandpas who don't get many visitors and may not have families to see at all. I told them it was ok to give hugs if someone asked and they did a great job. They got to meet a man who is 105 years old and a woman who was celebrating her 100th birthday today. They are facinated by people who are 100, but Jeremiah decided he wants to die young so he isn't old when he gets to heaven. LOL

Seeing all of these people reminded me of my own grandparents and my favorite Great-aunt Lucille. For as long as I can remember we went to her and Uncle Marion's house. We would play cards or other games. Uncle Marion was a carpenter and he would make wooden cut outs that we could paint and give to our parents as Christmas gifts. We always stopped by at Halloween and even after leaving home for college, I always went by for a game of cards or canned rubbers whenever I was home for a visit. Tyrone joined in our visits and had to learn how to play too. Uncle Marion passed away in the fall of 2001. We continued to visit Aunt Lucille until her last Christmas in 2006. We stopped by to visit one last time. It is another one of my favorite Christmas memories. She wasn't able to talk much, but right before we left she saw Maiesha who was just 8 weeks old at the time and asked to hold her. I was so overjoyed that she got to hold her that night.

There is something about the elderly and children. Several people today asked to "touch the baby" or have a hug from the kids. There is an unspeakable joy that comes to their faces. One woman we met had Alzheimer's. She was so excited to see the kids. She talked to them and hugged them. Not 15 seconds later she repeated everything as if we had not already been standing there. A little later she saw us again for "the first time" as we passed by. Everytime she had so much enthusiasm and asked if she could take them home. I am sure she doesn't remember us now, but in those moments I hope we made her day.

It took a lot of courage to go visit those folks today, but I am so glad we did. I am no longer afraid to the elderly, but it still not natural and comfortable. It reminded of Galatians 5:6 "...The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." We were able to love on complete strangers by having a little faith in our Faithful God to see us through. On the way home, Maiesha asked if we could do that again. I said we definitely will.

Christmas Legacy

I have spend a bit of time thinking about Christmas past today so I thought I would mention my favorite Christmas. It was Christmas 2008. Several years prior to this we had moved the Keppeler family gathering to the little country church where Grandma and Grandpa were attending. We did this because our family of nearly 50 people didn't fit so well in Grandma and Grandpa's house anymore. We had 4 generations ranging in age from newborn to 88 years. In 2008 Mom and Dad asked Grandma if she would like to have an open house gathering at home. She said yes and was very excited at the thought of having her house full of family again.

Grandpa's Alzheimer's was taking its toll along with other health complications that fall. In fact, over Thanksgiving he had a really bad spell in which we thought he may not make it to Christmas. He pulled out of that and was doing quite well - relatively speaking - by Christmas. It was a fantastic day. Most of the family was able to make it. Some even lingered into the late evening hours. We all felt "at home" again. Grandpa was able to eat with us. He watched his great-grandchildren play on the floor infront of his chair. He would even reach out to touch a toy when one of them presented it to him. He smiled and laughed ever so slightly as he watched them. It was truly priceless.

I wanted to freeze time in those moments. There was a glimpse of the old Grandpa sitting in that chair - his chair as we all knew it. For as long as I can remember that spot was reserved for Grandpa. A few chairs had filled the space over the years, but this one would be the last. It had the lift system in it. With the push of a button, it would raise him up or lower him back down. I charished every moment of that Christmas believing it would be the last one with Grandpa. Everyone commented on how great it was to be back in the house for Christmas. It felt kind of like old times.

We spent so many Christmas evenings there. We never had much for presents, but there was always fun. We would play cards around the kitchen table. We sang carol many year while Grandma or Aunt Linda played the piano. Grandma could only play by ear so she didn't play long but always sat near the piano. When we had snow we would bundle up and go out to sled down the big hill behind the house or ride across the fields on 4-wheelers. I will never forget the year Uncle Lee found an old car hood at the junk yard and we held on for dear life while being pulled behind the tractor. There were wrestling matches on the living room floor and games upstairs when we were little. There were a few years when Grandma or Grandpa would have to drive our family 200 yards down the road to our house because our diesel car would not start in the frigid temperatures.

Those days are gone now. That was Grandpa's last Christmas. There will most likely never be any Christmas gatherings like those again. We are all grown up now raising our children and beginning new family traditions from all over the country. I will always cherish these memories and look back with joy in my heart. I hope Grandpa enjoyed that last Christmas and I am thankful that we could come together as a family to make that day wonderful. I hope he was able to observe his legacy in those hours and was pleased.

Merry Christmas

Christmas is almost here. This year like most I find myself filled with anticipation for the big day. This year as I think about that I realize I would rather celebrate all month long or even all year long. As a kid there was such a build up to Christmas morning. I am sorry to say it had mostly to do with the presents I wanted to open and see so badly. I remember standing in my bedroom at the end of the day looking at the stuff I had received in my teen and college years and thought, "This is it. I waited all year for this and now it's over. I have to wait another year to do it all again." It was pretty empty and meaningly. I am so thankful that Christmas is so much greater than gifts that will never satisfy.

We went to Maiesha's Christmas program at preschool today. We expected all the usual things a preschool program offers. This year we got something extra which I really appreciated. The pastor of the church shared a brief "sermonette" about two of his favorite Bible characters in the Christmas story. Not Mary or Joseph, not baby Jesus, not the sheperds nor the wise men. He shared the story of Simeon and Anna from Luke 2:25-40.

Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him. ²⁶ It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah...²⁸ Simeon took him [baby Jesus] in his arms and praised God, saying:
²⁹ “Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you may now dismiss^[c] your servant in peace.
³⁰ For my eyes have seen your salvation,
³¹ which you have prepared in the sight of all nations:
³² a light for revelation to the Gentiles,
and the glory of your people Israel.”

³⁶ There was also a prophet, Anna, the daughter of Penuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, ³⁷ and then was a widow until she was eighty-four.^[d] She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. ³⁸ Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.

The pastor challenged us to make Jesus enough. For Simeon and Anna it was enough to see the baby Jesus. That's it. I have the rest of the story. I can pick up my Bible at any moment and read about his death and resurrection. I can read of Christ's return and his final triumph. Simeon and Anna believed and hoped in all the Messiah would do before any of it had taken place. Can I allow Jesus to be enough in my life? Enough for this Christmas season. Enough for every victory and defeat. Enough for every trial and hardship.

We are giving gifts and we will receive some too. We will celebrate with family. But if that were all gone, Christmas would still be everything it is meant to be because I have the hope of salvation through Jesus Christ. We are trying to instill that in our kids as well. We pray together. We read the Christmas story. We even sing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus. We are putting him in the center of our celebration so we don't forget why we celebrate. .

Here is a song God has given me in so many circumstances over the years. Now I think it is one of my new favorite Christmas songs.

Enough - Chris Tomlin http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHEm-b4IRYk

I want every moment to count for eternity

I have been praying about my involvement with college students here in Fayetteville. In Evansville it was a no brainer. I was on campus almost everyday teaching, coaching or visiting. Students were constantly coming and going and our family developed many wonderful relationships with students from all walks of life. I am not on campus right now, but we have a lot of students at our church and that seems like a logical place to begin connecting. I have been anxious at times and just down right impatient at my worst moments. At first I thought it needed to be a formalized structured "ministry" that I could plug into, but a new friend encouraged me to make it more one-on-one and informal to get relationships started. This should have been a bit of a no brainer too, but being the new person in town I wanted an easier way.

In my reading today, I was reminded of the shortness of life and how abruptly one can be taken from this world. So the question becomes am I living intentionally in this moment God has given me? Am I investing in eternal Kingdom business? Or am I caught up in selfish ambition, worry and busyness. James 4:13-17 says, "Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them."

I first read these verses "on accident" when we were considering the move to Arkansas. It was an ahh ha moment in that we knew we should only stay in Evansville or move to Fayetteville if God was directing us to do so. It would have been comfortable to stay. We really liked Evansville, the University, our jobs, etc. It was scarey to move to a new place again which was much farther away from our families. On the other hand, it appeared to be a great career opportunity for Tyrone and a pay increase. In the end those things were only items to put on a list of pros and cons. The real decision was in the overwhelming peace we felt from the Holy Spirit after countless prayers, godly counsel, and talking it over and over and over again.

So with a renewed sense of God's purpose for sending us to Fayetteville, I walked up to one of the few college students I know at church and invited her to lunch at our house. Then I texted the other two college girls I know and invited them as well. It is exam week and I had no idea of their schedules, but it happened that all three had no exams today. Yeah God! no coincidence in the timing. We had a wonderful lunch today and I believe it is the beginning of discovering part of God's plan for me here.

I am excited and it feels great to have stepped out in faith to ask young ladies I don't know well to just have lunch. Now I must "Trust in the Lord with all [my] heart and lean not on [my] own understanding; in all [my] ways acknowledge him and he will make [my] path straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 It's the only way to proceed. Whether lunch today was the only opportunity I have to engage the college students here or it is the beginning of something more, without God's continued leading it will not be for His glory but my own.

Speak Up and Live Out

Tyrone and I had a date last night. Those have been few and far between since we moved, but we hope to get back into a routine of date night now that we are settled into the new house. Those times are very special to us - whether it is going to the gym or out to a work party like last night - they are each an investment in our relationship and our family.

Last night a man approached us right after we sat down to eat our hors d'ourves. He was an average height white man around 70 years old. We were at the back of the table next to the wall so it was not the easiest place to get to, but he made a special point to get to us. He started by saying he wanted to share something with us and he hoped we would take it the way he intends. He told us he was part of the Civil Rights Movement years ago growing up in the Ft. Smith, AR area. He and group of friends - both black and white - were planning to attend a high school football game. At some point, they were attacked by people who were not in favor of blacks and whites "hanging out" together. He said his teeth were kicked in and pointed to the teeth in his mouth there were not his own. He told us how encouraging it is to see interracial couples enjoying life together today. I simply thanked him for what he had done so many years ago.

As I pondered this encounter this morning, I spent my quiet time reading Hebrews 11 and 12. Hebrews 11 speaks of so many people from Able to Abraham to Rahab to countless others who were faithful to trust God. Verses 39-40 says "These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect." They believed in the promises of God before Jesus came to Earth just like I believe in His death and resurrection today.

Hebrews 12:1-2 is one of my favorite passages in all the Bible. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the thrown of God."

I take this to mean since all these people have trusted God before me even though they didn't get to see the whole picture of His plan while on earth, I can press on in my circumstances with the same hope being inspired by their perseverance and sacrifice. Just like that sweet man who was willing to stand up for the rights of all people, I must not be afraid to share the Gospel so that none would perish. I don't even have to fear physical harm so why is the risk of an awkward conversation and fear of rejection keep me from speaking up and living out my faith for all around me.

Quiet Time

I have been doing such a poor job of making time to sit down with my Bible and spend time in the Scriptures. Since we moved to Fayetteville I have been sporatic at best. I have had sweet prayer time on my morning walks, but I know in my heart that is not enough. There have been a number of "signs" lately directing me to make time for God's Word, but I get distracted so easily.

I had a wonderful conversation with a friend yesterday. I was texting with her and felt a prompting to just call her instead. I think that is something I forget to do in today's world of Facebook and digital communication. I realized, as I was considering the phone call, that I am lonely right now and it is all because we moved away from the life we spent the last 4 years building. I am lonely for people, but more so lonely for time with my Savior.

So this afternoon I had a few minutes to sit down and read. I have started to reread "Crazy Love" a great book by Francis Chan. I decided to read until I came to a scripture reference then I would go read the whole chapter. In chapter 1 under a subheading, God is eternal, I found Psalm 102:12,27. Right before the scripture reference I read "Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right  to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending...If my mind is the size of a soda can and God is the size of all the oceans, it would be stupid for me to say He is only the small amount of water I can scoop into my little can. God is so much bigger, so far beyond our time-encased, air/food/sleep-dependent lives."

I opend my Bible to Psalm 102 and began to read. It is a lament pray to God. I was so encouraged to learn a year or two ago that it is okay to be totally honest with God when I am in the trenches of a difficult situation. He can handle whatever I have to say and wants to hear the full range of my emotions. There is something about opening up completely that sets my heart free. God already knows the darkest, ugliest thoughts I have so letting them out is more for me. It is an acknowledgement that I don't have to put on a show for God or wear a smiley-faced mask when I come before Him. Then I am free to see and experience the hope and joy God has for me.

In verse 12 the writer shifts gears - he wraps up his lament and begins to see the eternal God who loves him and is interceding on his behalf. "But you, O Lord, sit enthroned forever; your renown endures through all generations." Then in verse 18 in the midst of his expressions of hope and trust in God he writes, "Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord."

As I read this I couldn't help but think he was referring to me. So I sat on the floor a made my own lament to God and His glory shown through like the sunshine breaks through the clouds after a storm. Even though I don't know what His plan is exactly or completely I do see evidence of His workmanship every day. As I feel anxious and try to hurry God along the writer says in verses 27-28, "But you remain the same, and your years will never end. The children of your servants will live in your presence; their descendants will be established before you."

Oh, Lord, give me patience to trust in your plan and forgive me for my lack of faith.

I'm Running to Your Arms

So...this week has been tough. I have been handling a situation rather poorly with another person. I have been dealing with some physical "woman" issues. I have been reminded of just how much I do miss Evansville. I miss being a coach and a teacher and the friends I had there. I have not slept the best. My mind has been consumed by all the wrong stuff and although I have prayed I realize I have been operating out of my own selfish desires. Ouch!

This morning I sent a text message to a number of faithful friends and prayer warriors. They are my go-to people when I need prayer. I don't really have those relationships in Fayetteville yet. Those ladies sure came through for me this morning. And God has given me a few songs to encourage and discpline me while running the taxi service. The best one being "Forever Reign" by Hillsong. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js1eqReQXgI I love to image myself running to the arms of Jesus especially when I have been struggling and feel far away. I love to picture myself sitting at His feet resting my arm on His knee while looking up at Him with complete adoration.

God has put me in some wonderful eternal relationships that will far out last my time on earth. I am overflowing with thankfulness. They have each helped me remember one of my favorite verses from Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Here are some of the encouraging words I received from my sisters in Jesus Christ today in an hour of need.

Psalm 116:1-2 "I love the Lord  because He hears my voice and supplications. ecause He has inclined His ear to me, therefore, I shall call on Him as long as I live."

Please know that God is at work right now...without a doubt.

Praying for you my sister. Love you!

Remember who you are today and whose you are! There's nothing too big for our God and He's for you. Love ya girl - rest in truth today!

I am going to pray for u...Prayers (hugs)

...priviledged to pray for you. Love u.

Bring Your Love to Life

I was listening to the radio today and mindlessly singing a song that I have heard a dozen times before. However, today the lyrics of the song came alive and I began to cry as I listened to the words. The song was "Love Come to Life" by Big Daddy Weave.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOVF634y6-Y

The part the really caught my attention was "Break my heart 'til it moves my hands and feet, for the hopeless, for the broken. The ones who don't know you love them."

In Evansville I volunteered weekly at the Evansville Christian Life Center in the kitchen and food pantry. I worked on Fridays, but they serve meals every Tuesday-Friday and the food pantry was open on the same schedule. It was the most incredible experience to serve people who needed a hot meal and a warm/cool place to sit down for 30 minutes. To pray with people who had nothing but the clothes on their backs. To work along side people who had a genuine heart to serve the lost and hopeless. To help restore hope through the love and mercy of Jesus Christ.

I remember my first Friday in June 2009. We spent the morning preparing food and cooking the meal. At 11:00 we stopped to pray before we began to serve the meal. The people line up in the hallway where there is no air conditioning and wait for us to open the dining room door. The cold air hits them as the door opens, but it heats up quickly in there once it is full of people. As they enter, each person picks up a drink - tea, kool-aid, or water usually - and finds a seat. Most days they could also grab a dessert from the dessert cart before sitting down. We carry plates out to each person and serve them as though it is a restaurant. Each person can have as many plates as he or she can eat, but the posted sign asked that people only stay about 30 minutes to make room for new arrivals.

As I walked into the dining room with a smile and my first two plates it was all I could do to keep from crying. I saw a woman with her two preschool age daughters. I saw elderly men and women. I saw young families. I saw white people, black people, hispanic people. I could smell body odor and filth. I also saw grateful smiles and heard laughter between friends. I heard please and thank you as I passed a new plate or cleared away dirty ones. It was a safe place where for a few minutes a person who is broken and beaten down by life could take refuge and not feel judged.

The greatest thing about being there every Friday was building relationships with people whom I would have otherwise never met. I gained a greater appreciation for what I have and how quickly material things can be taken away - through bad choice or things outside a persons control. Each time I had the opportunity to pray with a "customer" in the food pantry I always prayed that they would experience unspeakable joy that only comes from God inspite of their circumstances.

In a sermon I heard many years ago, the pastor gave the book of Philippians the subtitle "The Joy of the Lord is my Strength." That is my heart's desire for every moment, every situation, every encounter.

Paul wrote his letter to the Philippians while he was in prison. His perspective can only be explained by his relationship with his Savior.

Philippians 4:10-13 "I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. ¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

I hope one day soon I will find a place to serve here in Fayetteville just like the ECLC (as we called it) in Evansville.

No Soliciting

In August 2009 our chruch in Evansville celebrated it's 35th anniversary by having a church wide weekend of service. Everyone who went out to serve received a t-shirt that said "The Church has left the Building" and the verse from Galatians 5:6 "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Our family participated in a clean up project at an elderly woman's home in downtown Evansville. We also baked dozens of cookies and distributed them throughout our neighborhood and on campus with a simple note that said "Just because God loves you." and John 3:16 printed at the bottom. It was absolutely amazing how touched people were to receive a bag of cookies for free and a friendly smile from our family.

The kids and I decided to do this again for our new neighborhood here in Fayetteville. We didn't baked so many cookies, but thought it would be a nice way to get to meet our neighbors. We rang doorbells at about 20 houses, but only gave away 10 bags of cookies today. Some people were not home while others, it seemed, may have avoided answering the door. Several doors had a homemade sign taped to the glass that simply read "No Soliciting". I explained to the kids that meant if we were selling something, the people who lived there were letting us know they were not interested in talking to us. I told them we were just stopping to say hello so it was ok to ring the doorbell.

It was so interesting to watch people's response to us - especially once they understood that we were not trying to sell them anything. We really did surprise them. Most opened their door slowly and cautiously prepared to say no, thank you, I don't want any. After we introduced ourselves and began to talk, their tight grip on the doorknob loosened and they relaxed to allow the door to open beyond a crack. We had some wonderful conversations.

One of the last houses we attempted to visit had a most disturbing note posted in the window. It read something like this. We ONLY buy Girl Scout cookies. DO NOT ring the doorbell or knock if you are selling anything else, if you are the FedEx man, or if you are a personal friend. We have everything we need. I was so sad and disturbed by this. I wondered why people would try to isolated themselves like this. And what if they do not know who Jesus is? Will their sign turn away the Good News as well? We rang the doorbell just in case, but no one answered the door.

What makes people become so afraid to open their front door? Why do we hideout from the rest of the world? Psalm 139 speaks to the intimate way God knows each of us.
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
⁵ You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

We read Jesus' prayer for his disciples in John 17:6-19. The first time I read these verses and grasped the intesity of his prayer I cried. The profound relationship he had with his disciples was unmistakable in the way he prayed for them. Then in verses 20-26 he prays for all believers - that means me! Jesus wants to be in relationship with me and he prayed for me and all the believers "that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."

I hope that our little note and bag of cookies with open the door for us to share the love and relationship of Jesus Christ with the people around us. I know we can pray for our neighbors - the ones we met today and the people behind the unopened door. May God give me the courage to ring more doorbells and express his love.

Preparing the Soil

I really enjoy sports movies. I love the lessons we can teach and learn through sports - hard work, perseverance, teamwork, sportsmanship, compassion, leadership, and most of all glorifying God with the talents he has given us. One of my favorite sports movies is "Facing the Giants".  A teacher, Mr. Bridges, feels lead to stop by the football coach's office to encourage him that God is not finished with him in his role as football coach. When the coach, who is struggling to keep his job, confesses that he doesn't see God at work Mr. Bridges shares this story.

Two farmers desperately needed rain and they both prayed and asked God to send rain. One sat and waited while the other went out and prepared his fields to receive the rain. Which farmer trusted God to send rain? Which one are you? God will send the rain when he is ready. You need to prepare your field to receive it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQRGvLKObmM

I often find myself in seasons of waiting. Before I got pregnant with our first child. Before job changes. Moving to a new place where I know no one. God puts me in these seasons because, I think, I struggle with patience and waiting on his timing. I sense a waiting now as I consider all that God will do through me and our family here in NW Arkansas. I get excited at the possibilities as I meet new people and experience new things. I know he has something wonderful in store. This movie reminds me that I must continue to prepare through the uncomfortable waiting. I must continue to pray and seek God's wisdom through His Word.

2 Peter 3:8-9 says "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. ⁹ The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

Peter is encouraging the believers about the second coming of Christ because so many are mocking them for their belief in God. I must remember this each day. God's plan is not confined by time as I understand it so I must continue to prepare myself until Jesus' return so that I can be about His business. If that is "just" staying home and taking care of my family right now, then so be it. If that is getting involved in college minstry, writing a book, or helping to feed the homeless, I must prepare the soil of my heart so I can hear God speak when he is ready. Then I, as Paul prayed in Ephesians 3:18-19, "may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that [I] may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Your Grace is Enough

I spent last weekend in Columbia, SC for my 10 year student-athlete reunion. It was so great to be back on campus. The adrenaline rushed as though I was the one about to compete as I listened to "2001 Odessey" in Williams-Brice Stadium with 75,000 cheering fans. Now that we live far away it will be even harder to visit and cheer for our Gamecocks in person. Going back always brings lots of memories flooding back to my mind. So many of them are terrific - friends, classes, hard workouts, successful track meets, and of course the beginning of Tyrone's and my relationship. Unfortunately other memories come back too. Memories that I am not so fond of and would rather forget. Mistakes that were made that I often wish I could fix and take back. Choices that have had a consequencial impact on my life.

I used to beat myself up over those bad choices. Negative thoughts about myself that would consume me to the point of tears. I would dwell on those things and allow them to define my self worth and character today. Praise the Lord! those thoughts are not from God. He has forgiven me of my sins by his grace and mercy. Lamentations 3:22-23 assures me, "²It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."

I am thankful everyday that inspite of my choices - the ugly, embarrassing ones or the prideful ones or even the best ones - God has given me the free gift of salvation through the perfect life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. When satan tries to torment me with my "baggage" or my flesh takes over I can take refuge in the arms of my Savior that he has given me the power to overcome and continue to live for His purpose and His glory.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish stronghlds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive evey thought to make it obedient to Christ."

God has used the worst of my choices to mold me and stretch me. He uses them in the lives of people I meet so they can experience freedom for their baggage too. He uses them in my parenting so I can better relate to my children and steer them away for the world's temptation as they grow up. I certainly wish I would have made some better choices along the way, but I know first hand Paul's struggle in 2 Corinthians 12 and I claim Jesus' words in verse 9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Thank you, God, that your grace is enough. Chris Tomlin sings it well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtnE_e1LylY

He's an On Time God

I do believe God's timing is perfect. I just have a hard time acknowledging it sometimes when I don't get my way. I was reminded tonight that God does work through the giant traumatic events all the way down to the tiniest of details that we don't even notice to fullfill His plan and His purpose for our lives. I have seen Him do it in my life over and over in my marriage, my children, my work, Tyrone's work, etc. Often he is practical. In hindsight it usually looks ridiculously obvious and I feel silly for being so impatient. I have to confess my lack of faith. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness is steadfast and "His word is truth." John 17:17

At church tonight the featured speaker asked if we each know the vision God has for our lives. I did not raise my hand with an affirmative response. I have some ideas. I described it as being on the tip of my tongue. I feel it. I will know it when I see it. I am praying for it, but I can't put it into words yet. I need to keep praying - HARD. I need to dig into God's Word because I know he is speaking. I need to make sure I am listening intently. I must invest myself in this relationship I have with my Savior and my God.

I must be patient. I know right now God has called me to invest my time and energy into being a homemaker, a wife, a mother, a friend. He has given me some wonderful new relationships and continues to renew bonds with old friends. I know He is laying a foundation fo the vision He has for my life. I am excited and I get anxious all too often. Tonight we looked at Habakkuk 2:3 "For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay."

I have included a link to the Dottie Peoples song, "He's an on time God". God brought it to mind as I drove home tonight. He never fails. He always gives me a song. Part of the chorus says, "He may not come when you want him, but he'll be there right on time." How true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRgvYgOJK6g

Not only is God's timing perfect, but to quote our speaker, Amy, from earlier tonight "God's timing is always worth the wait."

Cleaning the Bathrooms

In order to help me stay on top of my housekeeping - since I dislike it so much - I created a weekly cleaning schedule when we moved to Fayetteville. I had done it once before when I was pregnant with Maiesha. It works very well for me, but it doesn't make cleaning any more fun. I especially loathe cleaning bathrooms on Tuesdays.

While I was cleaning the bathrooms yesterday - even more challenging now that we have 2.5 of them - I was reminded of obedience. I found the following definition on dictionary.com, "the act or practice of obeying; dutiful or submissive compliance". As part of my role as homemaker, it is my responsibility to keep our house clean. It is part of what makes our house a home. It protects us from diseases. It teaches our children good hygeine and makes it safe for Lydia to crawl on the floor. It is part of being good stewards of what God has given us.

So I am reminded of Colossians 3:23-24 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, ²⁴ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

And Jesus serves as the ultimate example of obedience and humility. As Paul describes in Philippians 2:5-10 "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus; Who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place..."

Washing dishes, folding laundry, running the taxi service, or cooking dinner is an act of obedience to the "job" God has called me to. With that mindset, I can have joy even when I am cleaning the toilets.

Where is Your Treasure?

It has been a very eventful 12 days since we closed on our house October 26. It seems like it was so long ago already. The walls are painted, the new hardwood floor is almost done, the new carpet smell in great in the bedrooms. We managed to get the "old" place cleaned out on halloween morning and last night was our first night alone in our new house. My parents arrived last Sunday to visit and help us get settled in. We said good-bye to them yesterday morning. We would still be staring at a ton of boxes and projects if they had not made the day and a half journey from northwest Ohio. It feels so wonderful to have our own home again.

While I was driving home one day last week a song came on the radio about how this earth is not our home and it really reminded me to keep an eternal perspective about this new house we have. God has blessed us tremendously with this house and all the upgrades we have done. It would be so easy to leave it at that and go on living life. However, I am claiming the verses in Matthew 6:19-21 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

My treasure is the shed blood of Jesus Christ for my sins. The salvation he freely offers because he gave his sinless life as randsome for me. The fact that He defeated death and rose from the grave on the 3rd day. My treasure is knowing because he chose me I can live in heaven with HIM for all of eternity. So this house and all our stuff are just tools I can use to glorify Him. This house is an opportunity to minister to anyone who walks through the door. It is a means for me to invite people in to our lives in order to share the Good News with all who need a Savior.

With all the fun and excitement of having a new house, I must give it all back to God each day so he can use me, my family, this roof over our heads for His purpose and to His glory for as many days as he has ordained for us to live here. One day this will all pass away. I will stand before God and give an account of how I used the tools He gave me - how I responded to the oppurtunities He placed in from of me. I want to be able to say I used it to further Your Kingdom and share the grace and mercy that was given to me. I want to hear, "Well done good and faithful servant." (Matthew 25:23 - Parable of the Talents)

Sweet Home Arkansas

It is official - after more than 4 years of waiting - Tyrone and I are homeowners again. There was no buyer's remorse yesterday as we signed the paperwork and received the keys to our new house. We believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that God chose this house for us before we ever looked at a map to see how far away Fayetteville, AR would be. It is only a matter of days before we move in and start making it a home.

I really like the movie "Sweet Home Alabama" with Reese Whitherspoon, Patrick Dempsey, and Josh Lucas. I recall a smaller part played by Bob Penny who was "Mr. Buford" the divorce lawyer . He had something so important to share with "Miss Carmichael", but no one would allow him to get near her. They lied to him, threw him out, and man handled him. He was relentless in his effort and finally broke through the resistance just moments before she said her vows to the "wrong guy" to let her know she was still married to her first husband and true love Jake(if I can use a fairy tale term).

I couldn't help but reflect back over the past 4 years in preparation for the closing yesterday a be completely overwhelmed by God's relentlessness in keeping us out of all the wrong houses so we could find the right one. We could have forced the issue or settled so many times which would have caused us to miss out on this house. I remember being so frustrated and angry especially with the last attempt to buy a house here in the spring. I remember praying in those moments too, however, and being completely real with God. He can handle my emotions even if I am out of control. He gave me ultimate peace through it all that we would find the house he had for us.

Just like the little lawyer guy in the movie we can so easily push God away when we are focused on doing what we want to do. What we believe is the right choice or what we think will make us happy. He gets through to us when we finally stop and listen to what he has to say. I am so thankful that Tyrone was level-headed through my emotional roller coaster so that we could hear God's voice and discern his plan for the right roof over our heads.

Tyrone wants to hang a plaque in our house with Joshua 25:15 on it. "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." A most popular verse in many households around the world. Interestingly though, I think the first part of the verse belongs on the plaque too. It reads, "But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land your are living." A strong reminder of all the things I choose to serve each day that fall short of the masterpiece God is creating for me.

My Jesus

I had the privilege of mentoring one of my students in my second year as an Adjunct Professor at the University of Evansville. It was something that I had always considered in my mind, but once it actually came to be, it didn't look at all like I pictured it.

This student was nothing like me. She was average height. I am 6'1". She was not an athlete. Being an athlete (and now coach) is part of my identity. She was beyond quiet. I can talk to inanimate objects for extended periods of time if left alone. She would rarely make eye contact with anyone. Her posture spoke volumes - shoulders rounded forward, chin down staring at the floor, slow shuffle gate. I try to make eye contact with everyone and I walk tall with my shoulder back and chin up.

Part way through the semester I noticed she had a black eye, but didn't know whether it was my place to say anything. I wasn't very comfortable approaching students yet especially when it seemed she didn't want to be bothered. One assignment all students are asked to complete is a self image survey. If they score above a certain number, it is an indication they have self image issues. I don't recall her exact score, but she was over the "cut-off" so she was one of a dozen or so students I decided to email. I offered a listening ear and gave them the phone number to campus counseling.

She approached me the class period after I sent the email and asked if we could talk. She was already plugged in with campus counseling so she just wanted to talk with me. We spent about 10 minutes talking after class and we decided to meet. At that point in my life, I would not classify myself as a hugger, but something compelled me in those moments to give her a hug. I just felt she really needed a hug from someone who cared. Little did I know how terrified she was and the stories she would share about her life in the months to come.

My family had the opportunity to attend her surprise birthday party at the end of her sophomore year.  I believe it was the first birthday party she has ever been given - especially the surprise part. I cried tears of joy as she walked in the front door to a big "SURPRISE" and received hug after hug from almost everyone in the room. She greeted each person with open arms, a smile and happy tears. Pretty amazing for someone who feared hugs and couldn't cry just 18 months earlier when she was in my class. Not to say there isn't a lot of healing to do and that scars are evident, but she is really standing on her own two feet with confidence and strength now. It is definitely an answer to my prayers for her.

Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose." As horrible as the first 18 years were for this young lady, God was working out his plan for her life and countless others who will be impacted by her story. I count it a privilege to watch her grow into the person God has created her to be.

One of my all time favorite songs is "My Jesus" by Todd Agnew. He sings about the kind of people Jesus spent time with - people he invested his life in. People who were different than those he was "expected" to spend his time. The last verse reads,

"Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I wanna be like my Jesus!"

I can't say for sure, but I believe if God had not brought this student into my class two years ago and I had not been obedient to his prompting, she would be a homeless college dropout or have taken her own life. She wasn't like me. She didn't "fit" in my circle, but God used her to teach me how to be more like Jesus and less like the world.

Check out "My Jesus" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg1bx3oA0eU

Be Careful what You Pray for

I was out walking this morning at a different time than usual. Tyrone left yesterday morning for a conference in Kansas City so I will have been a single parent for about 34 hours by the time he gets home. (That is just long enough to help you stop and appreciate your spouse.) I had today scheduled with nearly back to back to back events so each minute was precious to make sure I made it to each thing on time and prepared. I delivered Jeremiah at school by 7:45 then delivered Maiesha to preschool at 8:15. I knew I had enough time to do a couple things around the house and walk before going back to Maiesha's school to accompany her on the fieldtrip to the fire station. Then we would have enough time to eat lunch and take a short break before heading to Jeremiah's classroom for the fall party. I am the co-homeroom parent and was "in charge" of storytime and the craft. After that we would have a couple hours to relax and get dinner ready before Tyrone arrived home. The final event of the day is to visit our new house.

Now back to the morning walk at an unusual time that I mentioned. I made it out of the house about 9:00 to walk while pushing the stroller and with Buford by my side. I much prefer 6:15a.m. just me and Buford. I had just enought time to walk my normal 30 minute route and make it back to Maiesha's school. I started to pray and one of the first things that came to mind was a praise for how well things were going so far for the day. I specifically remember feeling excited about having this time "to myself" and being thankful for it. Then I asked God to help me remember my joy comes from him not the order I had in my day. My security was not in my smooth sailing, but in Him knowing that he is in complete control even when my order becomes disorder - even when caos strikes and messes up my order.

Not 5 minutes after I finished that part of my prayer with Psalm 139:23-24 the wrench was thrown into my works. In those verses I honed in on "test me and know my anxious thoughts". I thought a little on the test me part and how I am not sure I really wanted God to test me. Well, the wrench was a call from my darling husband to task me with printing (no printer at home right now) and filling out a form that had to be nortorized and sent overnight mail TODAY. I just started to laugh as I listened to him explain.

I guess God decided to test me as I had prayed a few minutes earlier. Was my faith, my joy in Him or in my skills to organize my day? To make a long story short I shortened my walk, made it to the field trip, took care of the paperwork/mailing, had a great time at Jeremiah's fall party and have a genuine smile on my face after it is all done. It was a great day! Psalm 139:23-24 ends with "See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." I know God was leading me through this day.

I know that praying scripture back to God is a powerful thing, but he gave me a practical example today.

Where will you go when you die?

I watched the movie "My Sister's Keeper" this afternoon. I really enjoyed it - great if you need a good cry. LOL What was more sad than watching a child die from cancer was the conversation she and her younger sister had about "where she was going" after she died. She didn't know, but she hoped she would see her boyfriend who had already died from cancer. The expression on her face lead you to believe she thought it would be better than what she was going through on earth.
Whenever I watch a movie like that I first think about having to say good-bye to one of my children. I don't want to imagine that and my heart goes out to all who have walked that path. As hard as that would be a much worse thought is what it would be like to say good-bye and have no hope about his or her destination.

I am so thankful that both Jeremiah and Maiesha have prayed for salvation and "ask Jesus into their hearts" as we say. On Martin Luther King Jr Day in 2009 Jeremiah prayed while we were eating lunch. It was so sweet to have the opportunity to lead him through the most important prayer he will ever pray. A great weight was lifted from my shoulders that day as I thought about his eternal place in heaven with Jesus.

Another burden was lifted on May 14, 2011 when Maiesha prayed to ask Jesus to be her savior. Jeremiah helped lead Maiesha into her decision. We were reading the Bible story about Jesus ascending into heaven.

I continue to pray for Lydia's salvation in God's perfect time as I have prayed for all my children from the beginning of each pregnancy. It is so wonderful to see then growing in faith and to pray for the Holy Spirit to direct their path each day. God is already using them in mighty ways.

I know when Lydia asks her big brother or big sister where they are going when they die they can say with confidence and certainty it is better than anything they could possibly imagine. They go to live forever with Jesus in heaven.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16

Victory over Self

We watched the movie "Soul Surfer" last Friday night. What an amazing story! It was very inspiring to see a young girl and her family overcome outrageous circumstances. I highly recommend it. Our world is full of stories about people who have overcome tragedy and heartache. We are quick to applaud them, shed a few tears of compassion and then wipe our brow and think "I sure am glad that didn't happen to me."

I realize I have obstacles to overcome each day - none so profound as the loss of my arm by shark attack. The greatest obstacle I must overcome is myself. I want things my way, in my time. I want my children to obey, sleep all night, and eat dinner without complaining about the vegetables. I want my husband to do things on my terms even though he is the head of our home, put his stuff away, and meet all my needs (never mind if I am meeting his or not). In short I want to control everything! As soon as I get so frustrated I can't see straight, I stop fussing long enough to realize I can only control my own attitude, actions and response. I surrender, yet again, control to God and trust his faithfulness and perfect timing. Until I grab hold again and have to do it all over again.

We were studying Revelations last spring at our church in Evansville. In chapter 2:1-7 Jesus is speaking to the Church in Ephesus telling them "You have forsaken your first love."  They need to get back to the basics by repenting and investing the necessary time to rekindle their love relationship with God. Verse 7 says, "...To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God. "

"Overcoming is not victory over others. It is victory over ourselves. It requires intent, effort, and perseverance. (from sermon notes)" I have to overcome my own desires to control my life. I must overcome my attitude toward my circumstances. I must overcome my sinful flesh and allow the Holy Spirit to to lead. So I am praying and meditating on several key verses to give me victory.

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."
Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Amen

A sequence of events

Have you ever taken a moment to think back over the sequence of events that lead you to the place you are at that moment. I have started to do this more often and it is amazing how the most insignificant (or so it seems) decisions have a profound impact on life.

I am an early morning walker - just Buford and me. It is my prayer time and the only time of day I know my family does not need me. I really value this time. Since we moved to Fayetteville I walk around campus across the street from our house. It became a regular occurrance that I walked past the same woman as I passed behind the track & field stadium. We started to say good morning after a couple passings. It was a little comical to us that we were on the same schedule.

One Sunday morning in September we were visiting Fellowship Bible Church in Rogers (30 min north) and that same woman I walked by in the mornings was standing next to us checking her son into his class while we checked Jeremiah into his. She recognized me first, said hello and we confirmed that we knew one another. She was very kind and helpful in showing us "the ropes" since it was her home chuch. We exchanged phone numbers after the service and she asked if she could pass my number along to some friends in Fayetteville.

The next Friday I received a phone call from another woman who received my number from my "walking friend". She invited our family to her church and also invited me to a Ladies' Tea Party the next day at the church. I went and we have been attending that church since then for about a month.

All of this from my decision to faithfully walk in the mornings. I had been praying that God would direct us to the church he had for us. He knew about my morning walks. He knew about our visits to a church 30 minutes out of town (which btw...an elder at our church in Evansville told us about and we met him in a class we decided to take for 6 weeks after Lydia was born.)

See what I mean...everything we do, every decision we make has a domino effect in our lives. So how incredibly important is it that we stay tuned in to God's will and purpose for our lives!!!!

Basketball is Life! The rest is just details.

As far back as 6th grade I remember basketball being one of the most important things in my life. I had aspirations of playing college basketball even then and there was something in me that knew I would achieve that goal. Late in high school I purchased the shirt "Basketball is Life; The rest is just details." I wore it proudly and that was a huge part of my identity.

Well, I arrive at the University of South Carolina in August 1996 having achieved my goal of playing collegiate basketball. I was on top of the world. By the end of my freshman year I was no longer on the basketball team, but I had switched sports and was a member of the track & field team. So much for basketball being my life.

John 14:6 Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." That sure gives me a totally different perspective on how I should have pursued my athletic career. I am thankful that God has used me as a friend and coach to help young athletes hear that their sport is not life. I am thinking about one young lady in particular who rejected the idea that basketball is life to the point that she didn't necessarily try her best and give all she had to being the best player she could be. I shared with her a different perspective that God was working out in me at the time...

I am created in the image of God for the sole purpose of reflecting His glory all the days of my life. He has given me gifts and talents, strength and weaknesses so that I can be light and salt in this dark world. So no, basketball or anything else for that matter, is not life, but whatever I do am doing I should do it wholeheartedly and obediently so the name of God will be glorified and souls will be won to His kingdom.

As we watched football practice today at Razorback Stadium and followed the kids through the autograph line, I think what an amazing platform athletes have to reach the world for Jesus. What an opportunity I have to connect with student-athletes as a former athlete and coach to show then the truth that was revealed to me.

So they can see that Jesus is life! The rest of just details.

Do not conform

As often happens at our house, Tyrone and I were having a discussion of a political nature this morning. We are very similar in our political views, but have some fairly minor differences in how we see things should work. One things we strongly agree on is that as Christians - people who desire to look more and more like Jesus in the way we live - we should never allow political views to shape our Biblical ideas, but rather use the Bible to shape our view of this world. John 17:17 says, "...your word is truth." Why would I form my opinions on anything else.

Well, back to the conversation we were having this morning. Tyrone and I do disagree on how much media we should take in to "keep up" on the happenings in our country and the world. He likes to be informed via news programs and internet articles. I prefer to remain mostly uninformed because most of what I see and hear brings fear and frustration about the world we live in and I know those things are not from God.

Romans 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

So what is the pattern of this world that I get caught up in? How do I renew my mind? Oh to be able to test and approve what God's will is for my life. It is no mystery! I find the answers I seek by reading God's Word. I read the 'final instructions' in 1 Thessalonians 5:12-17 talking about how to treat people and wraps up with 16-17 saying, "16 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

There it is. I don't have to fear or get frustrated by the world, by other Christians, by politics. I just focus my time and energy toward prayer and God's Word and my direction will be clear. It can be just that simple.

I will lie down and sleep in peace...

I have been struggling to find a block of time for organized Bible study/quiet time. So today I went to pick up Maiesha early from preschool so I had 20 uninterrupted minutes in the pick up line to read. I kept the radio on so Lydia would stay asleep in her carseat. I started reading the Psalms and had to stop when I reached chapter 4. I read it a couple times and even wrote it down. It was exactly what I needed today.

¹ Answer me when I call to you,
my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
have mercy on me and hear my prayer.
² How long will you people turn my glory into shame?
How long will you love delusions and seek false gods^[b]?^[c]
3 Know that the LORD has set apart his faithful servant for himself;
the LORD hears when I call to him.
⁴ Tremble and^[d] do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.
⁵ Offer the sacrifices of the righteous
and trust in the LORD.
⁶ Many, LORD, are asking, “Who will bring us prosperity?”
Let the light of your face shine on us.
⁷ Fill my heart with joy
when their grain and new wine abound.
⁸ In peace I will lie down and sleep,
for you alone, LORD,
make me dwell in safety.

Great Expectations

Going into my final year of track and field at the University of South Carolina I had big expectations for my performance. I worked harder that summer than I ever had before. I was driven and focused. I want to experience success in the throwing circle. Shot put was my best event. The indoor season started off far below my expectations, but it turned around and going into the SEC meet I was the #1 seed and ranked in the top 10 nationally. I had an expectation that I was going to be the SEC champion. When I walked out of the weight room the day before we got on the bus for the University of Kentucky, I said to one of the strength coaches, "The next time you see me I will be an SEC champion." It was not arrogance, but extreme confidence in my preparation.

At the hotel our team was gathered for dinner and each senior was given the opportunity to address the team. I spoke passionately about my expectation to win. I encouraged each athlete to expect greatness from his/her performance at the meet. Whether you are the #1 seed or the last expect great things from yourself and your teammates. My emotions grabbed me as I spoke and tears filled my eyes. I new what was possible and believed each person could achieve great things if they just expected it to happen.

The pastor spoke of expectations this morning - expectations in our relationship and interaction with Jesus Christ. Do I read my Bible with an expectation that God's Word is alive and powerful and relevant to my cirrcumstances? Do I pray with an expectation that God can handle whatever I am dealing with? Do I live with an expectation that he is holding me tight in HIS GRIP and will NOT let go?

In 1 John 3:1 it says, "How great is  the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" Do I live expecting this lavish love as God promises to those who have accepted the free gift of salvation? Sadly, I admit, I often live impatiently focused on how I can deal with life's stuff instead of expecting the greatness of God to give me peace and rest.

I went on to win the shot put and become an SEC champion my senior year. More importantly I learned a lesson on expectations and giving myself completely to the pursute of something worthwhile. Now I apply that to life as a wife, a mom, a friend, and as a child of God. I can expect to receive the greatness God has for me if I wholeheartedly seek HIS WILL for my life and allow him to complete his masterpiece.

A day to be thankful for.

We have been living across the street from the UA campus since we moved to Fayetteville. Since the university owns the property, they use it for game day parking. Several hours before the game begins our yard - front and back - fills up with vehicle. Today we got outside before that to enjoy the weather. Tyrone took Maiesha's training wheels off and she did great. She will be officially on 2 wheels in no time. Then we packed everyone up to walk around campus to check out the tailgating scene.

Jeremiah and Maiesha wore their Razorback t-shirts and "hog tatoos". We had a family picture taken. The kids received a round of applause after dancing to the music of a live band in The Gardens. A random guy walked up to us and asked us to join their tailgate. We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out in their tent, eating great food, watching football while the kids played with other kids in the area.

It was such a fun day. I am so thankful that we have the opportunity to do new things as a family. God provided a free meal, and beautiful day, and kind people to share it with. Take time to appreciate the little things!

Practice to Win

I really miss my job as Coach Washington some days. Over the past 9 years I have been a high school track coach, a JV girl's basketball coach, a personal trainer, and most recently the Strength and Conditioning Coach for the University of Evansville Women's basketball team. I love coaching! It is one of the most frustrating and rewarding job I know. Working with young people from all walks of life provides such a great opportunity to invest in their future and the future of our world.

One day a couple years ago, Jeremiah, Maiesha and I were walking over to watch the UE volleyball team practice. (Tyrone and I were advisors for the team.) Along the way, Jeremiah asked, "Mom, are they practicing to win?" I don't recall my response word for word, but I remember saying something like I hope so and then thinking what a profound question for a 4 year old boy to ask.

There are different dimensions to winning. The person or team with the best score at the end of a contest. Recording a personal best effort in your chosen activity or sport. Maybe it is never giving up even if you will finish in last place. It could be offering heartfelt congratulations to someone who has just beaten you. Doing your best even after you were denied a promotion. Perhaps it is walking in one direction when the crowd is going the other direction.

So do I practice to win each day? Do I extend patience and grace to my family? Am I willing to set aside status, popularity, or public preception for the sake of a lost soul who needs the saving grace of Jesus Christ just like me? Do I devote myself to doing whatever it is God has called me to do at the season of life? Am I willing to be uncomfortable in some way if it means helping my team get better? Am I willing to lay down my life for a friend?

Colossians 3:23-24 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, ²⁴ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. "

What am I practice for?

The Beauty of His Creation

The weather has been absolutely fabulous the past few weeks so the kids and I took the opportunity to enjoy it this afternoon in our own front yard. Jeremiah picked up a leaf and asked if we could make a leaf rub (he is very into any kind of art right now). I said yes and suggested we go for a walk to collect some different kinds of leaves. I thought it would be a great project we could frame and hang in the new house. I get some good ideas from watching HGTV and now the DIY network.

Isn't it amazing how many colors, shapes and textures we can find in a few leaves. I had to marvel at God's attention to detail in something that we take for granted most days. Jeremiah learned about carbon dioxide and photosynthesis at school this week and how CO2 is "bad". Tyrone, being the scientist that he is, explained how awesome it is that God created plants since they need the carbon dioxide to survive and put off oxygen as a waste product. The very thing we need to survive. Incredible! God is so practical sometimes.

"God saw all that He had made and it was very good." Genesis 1:31 Thank you Lord for your provision build right into creation from the beginning.

Now I see You

When we are getting ready to purchase a new vehicle we like to look for styles and colors that we don't see a lot of. Strange enough once you buy that unique one or just spend time thinking about it, you begin to see that style and color all over the road. It is everywhere - you see them even when your not looking.

I have begun to realize, especially since starting this bog, that seeing God is the same way. When we are not looking for him, he is nowhere to be found. As soon as we start to intentionally search for his presents, he is everywhere, in everything. In fact, he might become all that we see. Hmmmm...

Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." So when my heart just isn't in it or I stop looking for God's presence I shouldn't be surprise when I feel far from Him. The thing is He never moved - I did - so I can run back to his open arms waiting to squeeze me tight again.

I am so thankful that this week has been full of these moments and what a tremendous peace I have in the mist of the storm as I rest in the grip of grace (btw..."In the Grip of Grace" is a great Max Lucado book).

The Sun and the Moon

I was out walking with Maiesha, Lydia and our dog Buford tonight when Maiesha said she could see a star. It was light enough that only a couple were visible, but the half moon was shining bright. I started to explain to her how the moon reflects the sun's light so we can see in the dark of night. I realized what a great analogy that could be for us and Jesus.

Jesus is the sun. He is always shining! Thank goodness. We are the moon. We are created to reflect the Son's light in the darkness of this world. Sometimes we are turned in such a way that we only appear as 3-quarters, half, or just a sliver. On some occassions we have a total lunar eclipse and His light cannot be seen in us at all.

John 8:12 says, "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

I pray that I reflect His light in this dark world each day.

He Breathed Life into Me

I don't think I respond correctly to the majesty of God most days. Sure I have moments and time where I marvel at what he has created. At what he has done in my life. That's easy to do with a new baby as she reaches her "firsts". Sadly, more times I worry about my children, consider what others think, stew about our finances, or spend time trying to smooth this wrinkle on my forehead. On my worst days, I respond out of angry not love, eat junk food because I "earned it", or I ignore the needs of my husband. I could go on and on beating myself up, but that is what satan wants me to do so I lose sight of my Savior.

I am constantly telling the kids, the Bible says you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). When Jeremiah asked about the color of his skin. When Maiesha says she wants straight hair instead of curly. When they make bad choices or disobey. Do I stop and listen to God saying that to me and respond in a way that brings him glory?

While teaching children's church back at CFC I learned something profound that revolutionized the way I see my relationship with God. As we worked through the creation account, we saw that God spoke the world into being. The day and the night. The sun, moon and stars. The land and sea. The plants and animals. When we got to the creation of Man it says in Genesis 1:27, " So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Then in Genesis 2:7 it says, "Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."

So I am created in the image of the Living God, and for me to have life he breathed His own breath into me. Now that is a reason to move over and let Him lead. If I think about God as my pro dance partner on Dancing with the Stars, I must keep my eyes on him so I stay on the beat. I must melt into his arms as we spin and turn around the dance floor so we are one with each step. I must listen for his instruction so I know when and where to step. He is the pro and I am the student.

So venture over to YouTube.com as I am doing right now and search for one of my favorite old hymn, "How Great Thou Art" and worship the creator who breathed life into Man so he could have a relationship with each of us through the shed blood of Jesus Christ.

He must become greater;...

...I must become less. John 3:30 This verse was part of the sermon this morning. How do I become more of Jesus and less of myself in my marriage?

This week was a difficult one in our house. I assume every married couple has those. It is really easy to get focused on all the flaws and shortcomings of your spouse and see how every problem is some how his fault. But if Jesus is becoming greater and I less this perspective seems very worldly and just plain wrong. We spend too much time in this life trying to figure out "whose fault it is?" or "who is to blame?"

This morning I was reminded I must take responsibility for my daily walk and not point the finger elsewhere. If I am becoming more of Jesus and less of me, I focus on how I can be the wife God created me to be regardless if Tyrone puts his socks in the dirty clothes or leaves them on the living room floor. I focus on being the woman described in Proverbs 31:10-31.

"A wife of noble character who can find?    She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
...
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
...
So back to the how do I put this into practice? I daily pray Psalm 25:4-5, "⁴ Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. ⁵ Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long. " Then I have to keep my eyes on Him, my mind on Him.

A Woman of Simplicity

I am the type of person who enjoys having a lot of different things going on. It's like putting a puzzle together - how can I get each piece fit into its proper place. The trouble is that becomes a high stress way of living and I can't get the day to day things done not to mention my job as wife and mom gets neglected. So the idea of moving to Fayetteville and having no job outside our home gave me a sense of relief. It also scared me to death!

Last fall my Ladies' Bible study - what's up my sisters in JC - did a book called "Becoming a Woman of Simplicity" by Cynthia Heald. It challenged me to not settle for doing good things, but focus on doing God things - the best that He has for me as a part of His Will (not mine). I began to realize as good as the part time jobs were and as much as I loved doing them, I was needed at home more than I was able to give. And right about that time we began to look at this job at UA for Tyrone.

Sometimes I need an extreme "shove" from God to get me going in the right direction and I see this move as just that. It has been very challenging to JUST be a wife and stay at home mom. It has also been very rewarding and I won't trade it for anything right now. I have been able to take the kids to the park and the library, keep the laundry done, make the beds, make lunch for Tyrone everyday, and the list could go on and on.

This summer Tyrone and I watched a video series by Andy Stanley called "Guardrails". He had his wife help on the discussion about marriage/family and she said something very profound that I use as my foundation for this new job I have. It comes from Nehemiah 6:3-4 - "so I sent messengers to them with this reply: “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?” ⁴ Four times they sent me the same message, and each time I gave them the same answer." Nehemiah was given permission by King Artaxerxes to go to Jerusalem to rebuild the wall around the city. He met great opposition from his own people and his enemies.

I meet great opposition every day about only being a wife and mom. Some of it comes from "good" things. Some is in my own mind. Some is from the enemy himself. I meet all of it with the response from Nehemiah. The job I am doing as a wife and mom is a great project and this is where God wants me to be right now. I know some day he will provide an opportunity for other things outside our home, but for now I must follow His lead and stay on my "wall".

This is easy to say and difficult to do so pray for me when God brings me to mind.

A Place to Call Home

It is official - we are buying a house here in Fayetteville, AR. It has been such a long road, but completely worth the wait. Waiting is not a strength of mine, but God continues to "make me wait" to teach me the perfection of HIS timing and provision for me.

We sold our house in Columbia, SC right before the housing market bubble burst in 2007 before we moved to Evansville, IN. It went well and we made enough money to have a great start on a down payment for the next house. Who knew we would have to wait more than 4 years.

In 2009 we attempted to purchase a house on our favorite street in Evansville just a block west of the UE campus. It was a charming red-brick fixer upper with a lot more room than we had ever had and tons of potential. We diligently prayed that God would work out all the details if that was the house for us. After a number of complications through the negotiation process, spending $1000 on inspections and the appraisal, we walked away. It was clearly not the right house for us. As the rest of 2009 unfolded, we were so thankful that God redirected us away from that house.

Not having a house to sell this year was a great burden lifted as we made the decision to move to Fayetteville. We decided to purchase a house right away in Fayetteville so we planned a house hunting trip in May. All the while I had been praying that God would direct us to the house he had already chosen for us. Due to our budget at the time and houses on the market, we looked at 17 houses on that trip and none of them were in Fayetteville. They were in Springdale and Farmington - two neighboring cities to Fayetteville. We selected 2 houses that we really liked and attempted to purchase both of them. The first fell through quickly - they just rejected our offer. The second fell through after the inspection. So we had no place to live, but were still moving in 3 months. "Oh God, what are you doing?", I thought. I was angry, fearful, frustrated and disappointed. I had several episodes of complete over reaction and failure to trust God.

Well, as always, God had a better plan for us that I was slow to recognize. Our realtor found a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom duplex one block from campus that we could rent dirt cheap month to month. It has been great! Tyrone walks to work and the kids' schools are 5 minutes away. It is pretty small that we had to store a lot of stuff which will help make the move to our house easier. It has helped to ease the expense of moving and transitioning to a new city.

The house that we will close on on October 26 is only 4 miles from campus here in Fayetteville. It has ALL the things we were looking for plus some other bonus conveniences. It has been on the market for a year and almost sold last fall. We believe God was saving it for us all this time. We were even able to save additional money this summer for the down payment and some renovations.

Once again, God had a plan and I only had to trust him and wait for his perfect timing so we could experience his goodness for our family. I often feel silly for reacting the way I do to adversity so I am thankful for his patience with me and glad that HIS FAITHFULNESS is unwavering.