Where am I today? Who am I today? I stood in front of the
bathroom mirror this morning and saw my reflection, but it is different than
the image in my head. I don’t like that wrinkle above my nose between my eyebrows.
I still see a 22 year old kid in my head. I see a 26 year old first time mommy.
I see coach of high school kids. I see an athlete. Although I struggle with the
image of me, I am joyful about the person I am becoming. A woman crafted in the
image of my Savior. Worn by the trials I have faced but better for them for
they have allowed me to draw nearer to the God who loves me and gave himself up
for me. I am empowered. I am fierce. I am more patient and compassionate. I
have a God-given vision for my life and a little of it rubs off on everyone I meet
(Some refer to it as “The Lynette”.) I know where I am going even though I don’t
know how my story will end.
I am listening to “In the Morning Light” by Yanni (showing
my age there) as I write this. In fact it is what inspired me to start writing this.
I am instantly transported back to my wedding day. This is the
song that played as I walked down the aisle to marry Tyrone 14 years ago. I
didn’t really know much that day. I knew I could spend my life with him. I knew
I loved God and Jesus was my Savior, but I really don’t think he was Lord of my
life yet. I was carefree yet fearful of what other people thought of me. I
lacked wisdom, but I thought I knew it all. I didn’t know what it would really take
to honor those vows we exchanged that day. There was no direction or purpose to
me as far as I can remember. There was a champion in me however. I knew what it
took to win. I knew how to compete. I knew how to love. I knew how to be reckless.
I knew I wanted to be great but at what was the mystery.
In January 2010 I discovered my life verse. Psalm 25:4-5 “Show
me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long.” There have been
approximately 1,700 days since then and I have prayed this verse back to God
more than 1,300 times. I kind of take it for granted, unfortunately, but
sometimes I stop and realize just how much God has answered this simple prayer.
I can’t begin to describe all the answers, but I know he is answering this
prayer by the way he has expanded my territory over the past 5 years. He has
entrusted me with 4 children and taught me how to disciple, pray for, and build
relationships with them. He has entrusted me with the job of leading children’s
ministry. That means helping children and families find their place in God’s
story to become fully-devoted, world changing followers of Jesus. He has made my
dream of going to Africa come true and given me the privilege of teaching others
about him on platforms I could not have imagined. He has walked me through
becoming the wife that my husband needs and carried me when I just wanted to
give up. He has given me a voice to speak into the lives of countless college
students and young adults which is only preparing me to be the mom of my own
adult children someday.
Thank you, God that you had a path marked out for me long before
I found it. Thank you, God for being faithful when I was faithless and only
focused on me. Thank you, God for knitting me together in my mother’s womb with
specific skills and talents that blossom as I mature in you. Thank you, God for
answering my prayers and revealing more and more of yourself to me as I walk in
step with my Jesus. Thank you, God for teaching me humility in the face of my
mistakes. And most of all, thank you, God that you are not finished with me
yet.
