Here we are about to close out another year. Each year as the calendar flips to January first I think about how far away December sounds, but it never fails to return a little bit faster than it did the year before. 2012 is no acception. We celebrated the New Year in Ohio with my family last year. This year will most likely provide less eventful since we elected to stay home through the holiday season. But as Always (pun intended) God gave me a song - the same song at church this morning as he did last New Year's. It is "Always" by Kristian Stanfill. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzJH4YeqfuQ
We did some traveling in 2012. We flew to South Carolina at the end of May after missing the trip in 2011. It was so great to see old friends and family and of course, spend some time at the beach. The kids and I drove back to Evansville, IN at the end of June. I coached at the throwing clinic (shot put and discus) I have done for the past 4 years and we visited will some old friends and our UE family. We then drove on to visit my family in Ohio for the 4th of July. To our great big surprise, Tyrone flew up a few days after we arrived to surprise us and spend some time relaxing with us at the farm. He had convinced me that his summer school schedule and an important meeting would keep him from traveling at all. We also took a 2 day trip to Branson, MO right before Christmas to enjoy an indoor water park, dinner and a show, and too much other good food.
Last winter was quiet with no snow and very mild temperatures. It was a wonderful way to settle into our new home in NW Arkansas. January wrapped up with the celebration of Lydia's first birthday. She was walking by that time and was full of personality although she had very little hair. Now as we approach her second birthday, she has a full head of crazy, curly hair and continues to surprise us each day with her vocabulary and "grown up" way of doing things. Most recently she has taken a great interest in playing dress-up with "Esha" (rarely she will get out the full Maiesha), mothering her baby dolls, watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and saying prayers to Jesus at meals and bedtime. We hope to wrap up potty training around her birthday and transition into a toddler bed so she can come to us during the night rather than yelling "Mooom" or "Daaad" from her crib.
Maiesha was completely immersed in a wonderful preschool experience last winter. For the first time, she had a group of best friends and one "sister", Hadley, that she really enjoyed playing with. They all went on to different schools in the fall, but we have been able to keep in touch and make time to play with them inspite of preschool graduation. To our pleasant surprise, Maiesha went off to kindergarten without shedding a single tear that first day. She has made some great new friends and loves her teacher. Her reading and math skills are starting to blossom and she read "Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See?" to me before bed last night. She has a very sweet spirit, but has struggled with some teenage-like emotions particularly when she is tired. She continued with dance again this year adding Jazz with the Ballet and Tap. She had a wonderful recital in the spring and they did an extra Christmas performance December 1. She loves making crafts a jewelry in her free time at home.
Jeremiah had a wonderful first grade experience last year. He wrapped up the spring with a super fun 7th birthday party here at home with lots of friends, and giant Harry Potter cake and homemade ice cream. In August he started taekwondo right before school began. He has already moved from white to orange to yellow belt and continues to catch on quickly. The instructors say he has natural talent and does a great job. He hopes to attend his first tournament in January. Jeremiah was thrilled to begin second grade, but by September was clearly not enjoying school. He has really struggled at times throughout the fall semester with a number of teaching changes and learning how to deal with his emotions. He still loves to read and does very well, but is otherwise not so interested in school right now. He does seem to be developing an interest in traveling the world and is still full of personality with a crazy ability to talk anyone's ear off. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Tyrone has had a very eventful 2012. He has been awarded 2 grants, has a lab full of hard working students, including 2 PhD students, and has made a ton of connections with other professors across campus that he can collaborate with on various research projects. He continues to enjoy teaching, but has to take a more balanced approach now that research is such a big part of his resposibilities. He hopes to get his first 2 research papers published this spring as well as continue to look for more funding to keep new projects flowing. Tyrone has been able to devote more time to being home now that his first year is in the books. He has enjoyed spending more time doing family stuff and taking Jeremiah to lots of his taekwondo classes. He hopes to join in once we have some extra money since he did karate as a child. We have joined a community group at church and have also be able to connect with some other families outside our church.
I volunteered at the University as a track & field official last winter and spring. It was a wonderful experience and a great way to stay connected to the sport I love so much. I hope to be there again this year, but probably a little less often with the new responsibilities I have going on. I really enjoyed hosting "Lunch at Lynette's" once a month through 2012. It was a great was to connect with other stay-at-home moms and use my gift of hospitality. I started my new part-time job at our church as the Children's Ministry Director at the end of July. It has been a great experience so far and I am looking forward to lots of great things especially as we prepare to move our church to a new larger facility in 2013. The biggest surprise of all, after working through some marriage issues at the end of summer, is the new life God has birthed in me. Yes, we are expecting a new baby in July. As we start to plan and prepare for this "icing on the cake" miracle it really is a symbol of new beginnings for our family as we head into 2013.
As one of my dear, old friends put it, "Congrats on a full quiver." It comes from Psalm 127:4-5.
"Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court."
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
A baby born to die
I am going to sit on my anti-santa soapbox today. Last year we decided to tell Jeremiah and Maiesha that santa claus is not real. We told them that their Christmas gifts come from us and other family members and that santa is a fun way to pretend, but he is make believe just like their favorite characters from tv and movies. They seemed to accept the news in stride, and mostly wanted to know that they would, in fact, still receive gifts at Christmas time. We reassured them that we would always give them gifts.
All year long they took a little joy in telling adults that santa is not really. It is like they had been let in on the secret and they want to brag about it. (Don't worry...we also told them not to tell other kids becuase not everyone knows and it not their job to tell.) At school, however, Maiesha's teacher must have read a book about santa and being on his naughty or nice list. She has been extra emotional lately, especially when she is tired, and she got really upset last Saturday while we were riding in the car. She was upset because she thought she was not going to get any gifts because she had not been a "good girl" this year. Her teacher SAID she would get rocks for Christmas if she was not good. (I think she was referring to coal, but rocks work too.) I was not at all upset with her teacher for telling the story, but I quickly squashed her fears that her receiving any gifts at Christmas was conditional on how "good" she had been this year.
This brings me to my soapbox. Our culture has built this expectation on earning gifts from santa by being more good than bad all year. If we even just finish the year well, or do something really selfless right before Christmas, we can get onto santa's nice list and ensure we get lots of good presents. This is in complete opposition to the REAL reason we celebrate Christmas.
God, in his perfect love for his creation, sent his Son, Jesus, to this world in human form to be the ultimate gift of salvation for all who believe in him. We are all on the "naughty list" if you really think about it. Jesus is the ONLY way we can can experience God's mercy and grace and live forever with Him.
Colossians 1: 15-23 (NIRV) says,
"Christ is the exact likeness of God, who can’t be seen. He is first, and he is over all of creation. 16 All things were created by him. He created everything in heaven and on earth. He created everything that can be seen and everything that can’t be seen. He created kings, powers, rulers and authorities. Everything was created by him and for him. 17 Before anything was created, he was already there. He holds everything together.
18 And he is the head of the body, which is the church. He is the beginning. He is the first to be raised from the dead. That happened so that he would be far above everything. 19 God was pleased to have his whole nature living in Christ. 20 God was pleased to bring all things back to himself because of what Christ has done. That includes all things on earth and in heaven. God made peace through Christ’s blood, through his death on the cross.
21 At one time you were separated from God. You were enemies in your minds because of your evil ways. 22 But because Christ died, God has brought you back to himself. Christ’s death has made you holy in God’s sight. So now you don’t have any flaw. You are free from blame.
23 But you must keep your faith steady and firm. Don’t move away from the hope that the good news holds out to you. It is the good news that you heard. It has been preached to every creature under heaven. I, Paul, now serve the good news."
In order to comfort Maiesha, this is what I shared with her. I told her that we give gifts to each other at Christmas time to show our love for each other like God showed his love for us by sending Jesus. Our gifts to each other, as best we can try to replicate God's love, show each other that our love is not conditional on how good we have been all year, but just a way to express our love like God did when Jesus was born in the manger more than 2000 years ago. And more gifts do not mean more love. It is all about our hearts. No amount of money or gifts can measure up to God's gift of salvation.
Jesus knew he came to die so that we could be reconciled to God and have a relationship with him that cannot be taken away. There is no greater gift! If you do not know Jesus as your savior, it is very simple. Just pray!
1) Acknowledge that you are a sinner and that you cannot save yourself.
2)Acknowledge that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and only He can save you.
3)Believe that His death on the Cross was for your personal sins and that His death was in your behalf. Believe that he rose from the grave and is alive seated at the right hand of God in heaven.
4) Give Him your life and ask Him to be your Savior and Lord.
Merry Christmas! I hope you will experience God's love and mercy this holiday season.
"A Baby Born to Die" by Bebo Norman http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S5cQhx2nZA
All year long they took a little joy in telling adults that santa is not really. It is like they had been let in on the secret and they want to brag about it. (Don't worry...we also told them not to tell other kids becuase not everyone knows and it not their job to tell.) At school, however, Maiesha's teacher must have read a book about santa and being on his naughty or nice list. She has been extra emotional lately, especially when she is tired, and she got really upset last Saturday while we were riding in the car. She was upset because she thought she was not going to get any gifts because she had not been a "good girl" this year. Her teacher SAID she would get rocks for Christmas if she was not good. (I think she was referring to coal, but rocks work too.) I was not at all upset with her teacher for telling the story, but I quickly squashed her fears that her receiving any gifts at Christmas was conditional on how "good" she had been this year.
This brings me to my soapbox. Our culture has built this expectation on earning gifts from santa by being more good than bad all year. If we even just finish the year well, or do something really selfless right before Christmas, we can get onto santa's nice list and ensure we get lots of good presents. This is in complete opposition to the REAL reason we celebrate Christmas.
God, in his perfect love for his creation, sent his Son, Jesus, to this world in human form to be the ultimate gift of salvation for all who believe in him. We are all on the "naughty list" if you really think about it. Jesus is the ONLY way we can can experience God's mercy and grace and live forever with Him.
Colossians 1: 15-23 (NIRV) says,
"Christ is the exact likeness of God, who can’t be seen. He is first, and he is over all of creation. 16 All things were created by him. He created everything in heaven and on earth. He created everything that can be seen and everything that can’t be seen. He created kings, powers, rulers and authorities. Everything was created by him and for him. 17 Before anything was created, he was already there. He holds everything together.
18 And he is the head of the body, which is the church. He is the beginning. He is the first to be raised from the dead. That happened so that he would be far above everything. 19 God was pleased to have his whole nature living in Christ. 20 God was pleased to bring all things back to himself because of what Christ has done. That includes all things on earth and in heaven. God made peace through Christ’s blood, through his death on the cross.
21 At one time you were separated from God. You were enemies in your minds because of your evil ways. 22 But because Christ died, God has brought you back to himself. Christ’s death has made you holy in God’s sight. So now you don’t have any flaw. You are free from blame.
23 But you must keep your faith steady and firm. Don’t move away from the hope that the good news holds out to you. It is the good news that you heard. It has been preached to every creature under heaven. I, Paul, now serve the good news."
In order to comfort Maiesha, this is what I shared with her. I told her that we give gifts to each other at Christmas time to show our love for each other like God showed his love for us by sending Jesus. Our gifts to each other, as best we can try to replicate God's love, show each other that our love is not conditional on how good we have been all year, but just a way to express our love like God did when Jesus was born in the manger more than 2000 years ago. And more gifts do not mean more love. It is all about our hearts. No amount of money or gifts can measure up to God's gift of salvation.
Jesus knew he came to die so that we could be reconciled to God and have a relationship with him that cannot be taken away. There is no greater gift! If you do not know Jesus as your savior, it is very simple. Just pray!
1) Acknowledge that you are a sinner and that you cannot save yourself.
2)Acknowledge that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and only He can save you.
3)Believe that His death on the Cross was for your personal sins and that His death was in your behalf. Believe that he rose from the grave and is alive seated at the right hand of God in heaven.
4) Give Him your life and ask Him to be your Savior and Lord.
Merry Christmas! I hope you will experience God's love and mercy this holiday season.
"A Baby Born to Die" by Bebo Norman http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S5cQhx2nZA
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Life is short...
Life is short. Isn't this something we say often when we consider the length of our lives. When we contemplate death - especially death "before someone's time". We think about how quickly time flies as we get older.
Last week I realized a new - perhaps more significant - perspective for this expression. I had lunch with a friend to say good-bye to her and her sweet family. I met Erika almost a year ago through a mutual friend. It wasn't until the end of August, just a couple months ago, that we had the conversation that began our friendship.
We were sitting at her neighborhood pool watching our daughters play when I asked if she and her family attended church. We had a wonderful conversation that day about her church history and our current churches. We talked very candidly about our relationships with God and other Christians. Through another mutual friend, we ended up in a community group together just a few weeks after our pool-side conversation.
In the last 6 weeks we have invested our Monday nights with this group praying for and encouraging each other. At the very beginning we learned that Erika's husband had been denied his work visa renewal and they were pretty confident they would have to leaave the country. Our group was able to rally around their family to encourage them, pray with them, and rejoice as God worked out all the details of their difficult transition. We witnessed God miraculously sell their house. We watched their quiet strength and faith in God grow and stretch as they made plans to leave their Fayetteville home forever. Leaving most of their possessions behind, carrying only what would fit in suitcases on an airplane, Erika and her husband and their two sweet daughters, boarded a plane last Saturday to leave the United States - quite possibly never to return again.
"So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do." - Ephesians 5:15-17
Our culture, satan, and our sinful nature call us to do the opposite of this. We get caught up in selfish ambition and meaningless practices. We miss so many opportunities to connect with people who need us and people that we need.
God, please open my eyes so that I will see this world the way you see it. So that I will see people the way you see them. Help me to reach out and build relationships with people around me so we become the people you want us to be. People who are united and compassionate. People who share each other burdens whether it is for a life time or for a few moments. Help me to see that the smallest conversations and gestures can have the greatest impact for your kingdom. - Amen
I am so thankful to have spent these last few weeks investing in this new friendship. Erika would say our community group was an answer to their prayers. They asked God to bring meaningful relationships to support them and HE did it. How exciting is it to be a part of an answered prayer.
Last week I realized a new - perhaps more significant - perspective for this expression. I had lunch with a friend to say good-bye to her and her sweet family. I met Erika almost a year ago through a mutual friend. It wasn't until the end of August, just a couple months ago, that we had the conversation that began our friendship.
We were sitting at her neighborhood pool watching our daughters play when I asked if she and her family attended church. We had a wonderful conversation that day about her church history and our current churches. We talked very candidly about our relationships with God and other Christians. Through another mutual friend, we ended up in a community group together just a few weeks after our pool-side conversation.
In the last 6 weeks we have invested our Monday nights with this group praying for and encouraging each other. At the very beginning we learned that Erika's husband had been denied his work visa renewal and they were pretty confident they would have to leaave the country. Our group was able to rally around their family to encourage them, pray with them, and rejoice as God worked out all the details of their difficult transition. We witnessed God miraculously sell their house. We watched their quiet strength and faith in God grow and stretch as they made plans to leave their Fayetteville home forever. Leaving most of their possessions behind, carrying only what would fit in suitcases on an airplane, Erika and her husband and their two sweet daughters, boarded a plane last Saturday to leave the United States - quite possibly never to return again.
"So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do." - Ephesians 5:15-17
Our culture, satan, and our sinful nature call us to do the opposite of this. We get caught up in selfish ambition and meaningless practices. We miss so many opportunities to connect with people who need us and people that we need.
God, please open my eyes so that I will see this world the way you see it. So that I will see people the way you see them. Help me to reach out and build relationships with people around me so we become the people you want us to be. People who are united and compassionate. People who share each other burdens whether it is for a life time or for a few moments. Help me to see that the smallest conversations and gestures can have the greatest impact for your kingdom. - Amen
I am so thankful to have spent these last few weeks investing in this new friendship. Erika would say our community group was an answer to their prayers. They asked God to bring meaningful relationships to support them and HE did it. How exciting is it to be a part of an answered prayer.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
I need a pedicure
I really enjoy getting a pedicure. It is a great 30-45 minutes to relax and be pampered. I loved the fresh, renewed feeling of the whole process, and, of course, when my "dogs are out" - which is quit often - I like them to be neat with glossy polish not barking at people as they walk by. However, I can't justify spending money every month on a pedicure so I have to do some maintenance for myself.
I realized this morning that I had allowed myself to neglect this simple chore because I was so wrapped up in not being about to get a pedicure right now. I have been looking at my feet for weeks thinking they were looking a little rough around the edges (really starting to bark loudly), but sulking that I couldn't get a pedicure. So rather than tackle this myself I became "paralyzed" by what I couldn't have. I have been walking around letting my feet be less than their best - for what - because I couldn't have what I think I need or deserve.
That sounds a bit childish. I have probably had conversations with my kids about a similar attitude in them from my parent pedistle wagging my finger at them when I need to also discipline myself.
Isn't this how we tend to operate in our faith all to often? I can't be a missionary in a far off country. I can't be the pastor of a church. I can't give large sums of money to help a cause. I don't share my faith because I don't want to offend someone or feel awkward. I am just _______ so God can't really use me anyway.
What a shame that we allow ourselves to believe these lies. What a shame lost and hurting people are all around us dying every day and we are stuck in what we can't do or won't do rather than what we can do. Who know? Perhaps we could contribute in some larger way if we begin to open up to the small things God wants to do through us.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
- 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
This morning I stopped for 5 minutes and painted my toe nails and put a little extra lotion on my feet. It is no pedicure, but it is what I can do today to make a difference in the appearance of my feet. I feel better, emotional and physically, having done this small thing. In spite of the temperature, I can put on my flip flops with more confidence that my dogs are not on the attack. ;-)
Who might feel better for all of eternity if you take one small step today toward something that God is nudging you toward. This will boost your confidence too, and allow God to strengthen you. To help you shake that paralyzed, helpless feeling and pursue the plan and purpose he has for you!
I realized this morning that I had allowed myself to neglect this simple chore because I was so wrapped up in not being about to get a pedicure right now. I have been looking at my feet for weeks thinking they were looking a little rough around the edges (really starting to bark loudly), but sulking that I couldn't get a pedicure. So rather than tackle this myself I became "paralyzed" by what I couldn't have. I have been walking around letting my feet be less than their best - for what - because I couldn't have what I think I need or deserve.
That sounds a bit childish. I have probably had conversations with my kids about a similar attitude in them from my parent pedistle wagging my finger at them when I need to also discipline myself.
Isn't this how we tend to operate in our faith all to often? I can't be a missionary in a far off country. I can't be the pastor of a church. I can't give large sums of money to help a cause. I don't share my faith because I don't want to offend someone or feel awkward. I am just _______ so God can't really use me anyway.
What a shame that we allow ourselves to believe these lies. What a shame lost and hurting people are all around us dying every day and we are stuck in what we can't do or won't do rather than what we can do. Who know? Perhaps we could contribute in some larger way if we begin to open up to the small things God wants to do through us.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
- 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
This morning I stopped for 5 minutes and painted my toe nails and put a little extra lotion on my feet. It is no pedicure, but it is what I can do today to make a difference in the appearance of my feet. I feel better, emotional and physically, having done this small thing. In spite of the temperature, I can put on my flip flops with more confidence that my dogs are not on the attack. ;-)
Who might feel better for all of eternity if you take one small step today toward something that God is nudging you toward. This will boost your confidence too, and allow God to strengthen you. To help you shake that paralyzed, helpless feeling and pursue the plan and purpose he has for you!
Monday, October 15, 2012
Get filled up so you can pour it out
Wow! it has been a while since I have written. I have missed sitting down to "unload" my heart of all that is going on. The last few weeks have been full of amazing stories, family challenges, and peace in the midst of it all.
I have been pouring into family, friends, my job and even strangers. That can suck you dry very quickly. Thank the Lord he has provided wonderful people to pour back into me the last few weeks. He has given me a marriage that is growing and getting better every day. He has given me 2 children who are full of energy and want to know more about God's plan for their lives. He has given me a precious toddler who gives amazing hugs and makes us laugh constantly. He has allowed me to be a part of a church that is growing and seeking His plan. I have amazing co-workers and a boss that I look forward to hanging out with each week. He has provided other moms that I can pray with and talk through our "kids issues" each week.
The list can go on and on, but the most notable story would be my new friend (and mentor although she doesn't like that title) Alice. Early in September we were challenged at "Cupcakes and Coffee" - the launch of our women's ministry for this year - to get a mentor and become a mentor. I have the mentor thing covered. I am always "stumbling" into relationships where I am able to encourage young moms, college students, and other seemingly random situations. It was clear God was telling me I need to find a person like that for me. There are several wonderful women in my life that have poured into me. The problem with them is they live in other states around the country. I need someone local that I can sit with face-to-face.
Back on September 1, I went to a baby shower for an acquaintance of mine. I nearly missed the shower because I couldn't find the invitation with the address. I searched the incoming call history in my phone because the host had actually called a couple weeks earlier to let me know the time of the shower had changed. I found the unfamiliar number in my phone and called to get directions. She lived right around the corner from us and it literally took 2 minutes to get there. Maiesha and I arrived a little late, but made it there nonetheless to celebrate with the mommy-to-be. While at that baby shower, I had a lovely chat with a woman named Alice. She made a very positive first impression and we each knew a few of the same people from other circles which connected us. I said good-bye to her that day thinking it would be nice to run into her again, but I don't know exactly why we really would. Little did I know God appointed that conversation so that when presented with the idea of finding a mentor, I knew exactly who to contact.
Two days after "Cupcakes and Coffee", I got Alice's email from one of our mutual friends and sent her an email with my bold request. She replied within the hour. We talked later that afternoon. After praying about it, Alice called me the next day to say she would be happy to get together with me and be my mentor. We have been meeting once a week for three weeks and each conversation confirms that God has put her in my life for this season. I look forward to our time together each week and love feeling so refreshed after our visits.
God is opening my eyes to people and situations all around me who need him. He is working through me to reach out to those people. A homeless girl who is estranged from her family. Our adopted family living in poverty. A girl at the grocery store the I need to speak to because I saw cutting scares on her arms. A new friend who is searching for answers and after sharing the gospel with her wants to hear more. Uncovering why Jeremiah has struggled so much this year with school. A young single mom to mentor and encourage. A family who must uproot and leave the country because of a paperwork error for his work visa.
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and he helps me ." Psalm 28:7
I want to live like I believe this verse. If he is my strength and my shield then I can do anything he asks and he will protect me along the way. If I say that I trust him, do my actions follow suit? Do I allow him to help me or just operate in my own abilities?
How does God want to use you? Are you listening to him so you can find out? Do you have people pouring into your life so you can pour it right back out into others? God created us for relationships - marriage, parenting, friends, strangers
I have been pouring into family, friends, my job and even strangers. That can suck you dry very quickly. Thank the Lord he has provided wonderful people to pour back into me the last few weeks. He has given me a marriage that is growing and getting better every day. He has given me 2 children who are full of energy and want to know more about God's plan for their lives. He has given me a precious toddler who gives amazing hugs and makes us laugh constantly. He has allowed me to be a part of a church that is growing and seeking His plan. I have amazing co-workers and a boss that I look forward to hanging out with each week. He has provided other moms that I can pray with and talk through our "kids issues" each week.
The list can go on and on, but the most notable story would be my new friend (and mentor although she doesn't like that title) Alice. Early in September we were challenged at "Cupcakes and Coffee" - the launch of our women's ministry for this year - to get a mentor and become a mentor. I have the mentor thing covered. I am always "stumbling" into relationships where I am able to encourage young moms, college students, and other seemingly random situations. It was clear God was telling me I need to find a person like that for me. There are several wonderful women in my life that have poured into me. The problem with them is they live in other states around the country. I need someone local that I can sit with face-to-face.
Back on September 1, I went to a baby shower for an acquaintance of mine. I nearly missed the shower because I couldn't find the invitation with the address. I searched the incoming call history in my phone because the host had actually called a couple weeks earlier to let me know the time of the shower had changed. I found the unfamiliar number in my phone and called to get directions. She lived right around the corner from us and it literally took 2 minutes to get there. Maiesha and I arrived a little late, but made it there nonetheless to celebrate with the mommy-to-be. While at that baby shower, I had a lovely chat with a woman named Alice. She made a very positive first impression and we each knew a few of the same people from other circles which connected us. I said good-bye to her that day thinking it would be nice to run into her again, but I don't know exactly why we really would. Little did I know God appointed that conversation so that when presented with the idea of finding a mentor, I knew exactly who to contact.
Two days after "Cupcakes and Coffee", I got Alice's email from one of our mutual friends and sent her an email with my bold request. She replied within the hour. We talked later that afternoon. After praying about it, Alice called me the next day to say she would be happy to get together with me and be my mentor. We have been meeting once a week for three weeks and each conversation confirms that God has put her in my life for this season. I look forward to our time together each week and love feeling so refreshed after our visits.
God is opening my eyes to people and situations all around me who need him. He is working through me to reach out to those people. A homeless girl who is estranged from her family. Our adopted family living in poverty. A girl at the grocery store the I need to speak to because I saw cutting scares on her arms. A new friend who is searching for answers and after sharing the gospel with her wants to hear more. Uncovering why Jeremiah has struggled so much this year with school. A young single mom to mentor and encourage. A family who must uproot and leave the country because of a paperwork error for his work visa.
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and he helps me ." Psalm 28:7
I want to live like I believe this verse. If he is my strength and my shield then I can do anything he asks and he will protect me along the way. If I say that I trust him, do my actions follow suit? Do I allow him to help me or just operate in my own abilities?
How does God want to use you? Are you listening to him so you can find out? Do you have people pouring into your life so you can pour it right back out into others? God created us for relationships - marriage, parenting, friends, strangers
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Share your miracle! Someone else needs one too
Since God worked a miracle in our home nearly a month ago, he continues to prove himself faithful through our testimony. I have felt the Holy Spirit leading me to write about our struggles and challenges for the sake of others who are facing similar situations. I believe it is an act of obedience that I share my brokenness so that God's love can flow through me to others who desperately need his healing touch.
The next part of our miracle has come through prayer time together. I have always wanted to experience real meaningful prayer time as a family and with my husband. God is working that out through our willingness to let him in.
Jeremiah's verse is "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." (Jeremiah 1:5)
Jeremiah has an ingrained interest in other countries and traveling the world. His best friends at school from other countries. I have prayed this verse over him since before he was born as well as Jeremiah 29:11. Perhaps these verses are a real living part of the vision God has for Jeremiah's life.
Maiesha's verse is "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:14)
I have prayed this verse for our whole family for a couple years now, but it is especially significant for Maiesha as she starts kindergarten and seeks to make new friends and find "her place" at school. Tyrone and I both want her to understand she is special because God created her so that her self esteem doesn't rest in the acceptance of others. It is so precious to see her smile when she hears that God made her special.
Lydia's verse is "She [Lydia] was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul’s message." (Acts 16:14b)
I have been praying this verse for Lydia since we named her about 2 weeks before she was born. Tyrone and I want her to find salvation in Jesus as soon as she hears and understands the Gospel.
It has been so powerful to pray these verses together as a family. There is no doubt that God's Word is alive and active and sharper than any two-edged sword.
Another part of the miracle is how God is using our story to impact other people's lives also. A reader shared the following with me today.
When I emailed you earlier this week about your blog, I was in a state of despair…..just about ready to give up on my marriage of 35 years. I was so tired of me and my husband being so far apart spiritually that I was ready to let it go. I have prayed (and am still praying about our marriage) for so many years that we would have the kind of marriage that God wanted us to have…with Him at the head of our lives and family and home.
After I read your blog again, I just asked God to either remove me from this marriage or please change it. When I got home from work that same day, my husband asked if we could have devotional time together! God is changing our marriage. I am praying also that I will love my husband like God loves him. I am still not trusting him completely but I am more and more aware of what God wants me to do and trying to get closer to my husband.
So be encouraged...whatever valley you find yourself in it is not too deep for God to reach down and pull you up. Take some time to share your story - your journey - with other too. You never know the eternal impact it will have on your listeners or readers. God doesn't allow us to go through trials for no good reason. He wants to draw us to him and he chooses to work through us to reach other people in their moments of despair.
Now stand on his promises and allow him to work miracles in and through your life.
"Stand" by Brit Nicole http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk60wodA_4k
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Miracles happen!
God performed a miracle in house last weekend. And it came out of complete brokenness and acknowledging that we are poor and needy people - needy of the grace and compassion of our loving God.
Last Thursday night we hit probably the lowest point in our marriage. There was nothing left that we could do in our own strength. We were powerless except for the incomparable presence of the Holy Spirit. Through an urgent phone call to Tyrone's mom, He led us to some scripture that came alive in those desperate moments. Scripture that revealed the lies and destortions in our minds - that exposed satan's plot to destroy our marriage. We read them out loud. We read them over and over. We claimed the words of God. These verses became our weapons in a spiritual battle that raged all around us. I could visualize the angels and demons battling over head in our room for this marriage and our family.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)
We claimed these verses in victory over the lies that we deserve to be punished for past sins and failures. That is not from God! He has a plan to give our family a hope and a future.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)
We claimed these verses in victory over our fleshly desire to understand our circumstances when we need ONLY trust in God with our whole heart and stop relying on our limited view of His greater plan and purpose for our marriage.
We read Psalm 35, 37, and 70 where David is crying out to God to rescue him from his enemies and find "The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him." (Psalm 37:39-40 NIV)
The verse that has become my new favorite and one that I am clinging to is Psalm 70:5. "Yet I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay."
That is where the miracle took place. In the acknowledgement that we could not figure all of our issues out, we discovered our desperate need for God. In him we have found forgiveness and a new beginning. We are rediscovering friendship and fun together. We are rekindling passion and intimacy. We have failed in our own attempts to "fix" ourselves. We see that our flesh is weak and the power of sin is real and present in our lives.
BUT...
The power of Christ in us is far greater!
The power of the cross and the resurrection demolished sin!
Christ declared, "... In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) Not I will overcome, but I have already. And for this reason we are moving toward the life - the hope and the future - that God has planned for us!
"Take my life/Holiness" by Scott Underwood http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHeEytocJVY
Last Thursday night we hit probably the lowest point in our marriage. There was nothing left that we could do in our own strength. We were powerless except for the incomparable presence of the Holy Spirit. Through an urgent phone call to Tyrone's mom, He led us to some scripture that came alive in those desperate moments. Scripture that revealed the lies and destortions in our minds - that exposed satan's plot to destroy our marriage. We read them out loud. We read them over and over. We claimed the words of God. These verses became our weapons in a spiritual battle that raged all around us. I could visualize the angels and demons battling over head in our room for this marriage and our family.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)
We claimed these verses in victory over the lies that we deserve to be punished for past sins and failures. That is not from God! He has a plan to give our family a hope and a future.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)
We claimed these verses in victory over our fleshly desire to understand our circumstances when we need ONLY trust in God with our whole heart and stop relying on our limited view of His greater plan and purpose for our marriage.
We read Psalm 35, 37, and 70 where David is crying out to God to rescue him from his enemies and find "The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; he is their stronghold in time of trouble. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him." (Psalm 37:39-40 NIV)
The verse that has become my new favorite and one that I am clinging to is Psalm 70:5. "Yet I am poor and needy; come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay."
That is where the miracle took place. In the acknowledgement that we could not figure all of our issues out, we discovered our desperate need for God. In him we have found forgiveness and a new beginning. We are rediscovering friendship and fun together. We are rekindling passion and intimacy. We have failed in our own attempts to "fix" ourselves. We see that our flesh is weak and the power of sin is real and present in our lives.
BUT...
The power of Christ in us is far greater!
The power of the cross and the resurrection demolished sin!
Christ declared, "... In this world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) Not I will overcome, but I have already. And for this reason we are moving toward the life - the hope and the future - that God has planned for us!
"Take my life/Holiness" by Scott Underwood http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHeEytocJVY
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Take a Moment
This week has been a good one. It has not been without it challenges though. I realized that I was so anxious to get the new school year started that I overlooked the transition that we must go through to get everyone settled into the new routine. Now that my expectations are more realistic I have been able to relax a little and be a better mom. Before I came to my senses, I snapped a couple times about some behavior issues Jeremiah is having and was a little insensitive toward Maiesha.
While I was doing my Insanity workout Tuesday morning, the Holy Spirit brought to mind that I had plenty of time to surprise Jeremiah and Maiesha for lunch at school. They were so excited to see Lydia and I waiting for them in the hallway. It was such a special moment to remind them that I want to and enjoy spending time with them. It was great to sit with them and ask about their day. They really liked “showing off” their baby sister too as we walked each of them back to class.
God has been working this week to show me simple ways I can make a huge difference in my children’s lives. They just need my love and attention. It doesn’t take a big production. I do need to be intentional, but it is really simple. A few minutes snuggling on the couch. Sitting together to watch a TV show or movie they really like. Staying after school to play on the playground. A few minutes pushing Lydia on the swing at church when I am working. Those moments make the biggest difference.
These moments make a difference in our marriage too. Tyrone and I have to be very intentional now as we reconnect and rebuild our relationship. It comes down to thinking of my spouse before myself. It’s not conditional though. I can’t do these things with an expectations that they will be returned. I do them in an act of obedience to God and an expression of my love for my husband. I know I have fallen short of being the wife God wants me to be. Now I must invest my time and energy to make my marriage a priority. Our first dance song from our wedding was “Endless Love” by Lionel Richie and Diana Ross. Last night, after watching one of our favorite shows together, I pulled up “our song” on YouTube and we danced to it in our living room. We need to dance more. Everyday perhaps. A few minutes to hold each other, looking into each other’s eyes, and remembering the day we committed our lives to each other.
"Endless Love" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xmd658QnX5Y
Thursday, August 23, 2012
"I Do" again
I remember it like it was yesterday! My dress hangs in our closet. I refuse to package it up properly so that I can put it one every so often. Our pictures sit on end tables. I can still taste the cake Tyrone fed me - which was the only thing either one of us had to eat that night until we got home. It was a hot stormy day in August. It rained most of the day, but stopped in time for our covered-outdoor cerimony. Pastor Jaye worked the rain into his message and talked about the symbol of a rainbow. My theme was simple but elegant and we pulled it off. We had great food and a beautiful cake. Simple flower and twinkly white lights. Our family and good friends were there to celebrate with us. We danced. We sang to each other. Tyrone even pulled the garder off my leg with his teeth. We spent the 24 hours after the wedding referring to each other as "wife" and "husband" over and over marveling at our new titles.
We just celebrated our 11th anniverary last weekend, but we didn't do a lot of celebrating. We had a great overnight get away and 19 whole hours of peace and quiet ALONE. We hadn't done that in about 4 years. Our focus right now is more about reconnecting and working to heal old wounds. There are things from before we got married that we never dealt with that reside in our home today. We unknowingly packed them up and brought them with us every time we moved. In Evansville they stayed in their box for a long time. It was as though they were gone, but after some time, like any unresolved issue, we unpacked that box, but rather than put those things in their place, they were shelved in a dark corner for another time. They made their way to Arkansas, but it seems like that was one of the first boxes we unpacked this time. The contents of the box was scattered on the floor, but we never picked it up. We just keep stepping over it thinking it doesn't bother us that it is there. The TRUTH is these things have no place here! We are finally dealing with them properly and it is tough. This is just one more reason God moved us to Arkansas.
On that hot day in August 11 years ago, we were two kids who thought that love would conquer all. The issues didn't matter. All that mattered was we loved each other and we wanted to be together. Silly kids...we were partially correct. Love does conquer all, but it's not our imperfect love. It's God's love that shows us how to love another. It's God's love that teaches us how to love ourselves and accept love from others. It's God's love that is perfect and pure and can be counted on NO MATTER WHAT. I have been on a journey of discovering that in the past 6 months. It has prepared the way for me to see how conditional my love has been for my husband. I am beginning to understand how "comfortable" I have become - taking for granted the need for intimacy and quality time with my husband. We have slipped into the zone of "doing life together" rather than "loving life together".
I am so uncomfortable as we work through this season, but I am also thankful that we are, in fact, working through things together and refocusing our attention toward each other. I hate unresolved issues. Ironic then that it has taken so long to get here. We have some great friends around us who pray for us and support us. We are searching God's Word. We are learning through a book study. I am praying harder than ever. Tyrone is learning how to pray again. We are sleep deprived from long, late night talks. It's a new kind of courtship. We have to put each other first and find a little of that starry-eyed, love sick quality that newlyweds have.
Yesterday we decided to get married again. We will renew our wedding vows next August after spending this year "preparing" to get married. We want to spend focused intentional time rebuilding a strong, passionate relationship. The kind we both envisioned years ago, but didn't grasp the effort and commitment that it would take. I want to fall in love all over again with the experience of 11 years to our credit. I get excited thinking about a cerimony and a fancy dress and having all our friends gather together (and eating cake of course). If that's all I get out of this year, I will have missed the mark again however. This year leading up to our second wedding is an opportunity to lay the ground work for the rest of our lives. It is an opportunity for a fresh new beginning. We can commit to leaving the past behind us and pressing on toward the future God has for our marriage and our family. It's an opportunity to share what God is doing in our lives and hope that we can help just one other couple along their journey.
As Philippians 3:12-14 (NLT) says...
"I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."
We just celebrated our 11th anniverary last weekend, but we didn't do a lot of celebrating. We had a great overnight get away and 19 whole hours of peace and quiet ALONE. We hadn't done that in about 4 years. Our focus right now is more about reconnecting and working to heal old wounds. There are things from before we got married that we never dealt with that reside in our home today. We unknowingly packed them up and brought them with us every time we moved. In Evansville they stayed in their box for a long time. It was as though they were gone, but after some time, like any unresolved issue, we unpacked that box, but rather than put those things in their place, they were shelved in a dark corner for another time. They made their way to Arkansas, but it seems like that was one of the first boxes we unpacked this time. The contents of the box was scattered on the floor, but we never picked it up. We just keep stepping over it thinking it doesn't bother us that it is there. The TRUTH is these things have no place here! We are finally dealing with them properly and it is tough. This is just one more reason God moved us to Arkansas.
On that hot day in August 11 years ago, we were two kids who thought that love would conquer all. The issues didn't matter. All that mattered was we loved each other and we wanted to be together. Silly kids...we were partially correct. Love does conquer all, but it's not our imperfect love. It's God's love that shows us how to love another. It's God's love that teaches us how to love ourselves and accept love from others. It's God's love that is perfect and pure and can be counted on NO MATTER WHAT. I have been on a journey of discovering that in the past 6 months. It has prepared the way for me to see how conditional my love has been for my husband. I am beginning to understand how "comfortable" I have become - taking for granted the need for intimacy and quality time with my husband. We have slipped into the zone of "doing life together" rather than "loving life together".
I am so uncomfortable as we work through this season, but I am also thankful that we are, in fact, working through things together and refocusing our attention toward each other. I hate unresolved issues. Ironic then that it has taken so long to get here. We have some great friends around us who pray for us and support us. We are searching God's Word. We are learning through a book study. I am praying harder than ever. Tyrone is learning how to pray again. We are sleep deprived from long, late night talks. It's a new kind of courtship. We have to put each other first and find a little of that starry-eyed, love sick quality that newlyweds have.
Yesterday we decided to get married again. We will renew our wedding vows next August after spending this year "preparing" to get married. We want to spend focused intentional time rebuilding a strong, passionate relationship. The kind we both envisioned years ago, but didn't grasp the effort and commitment that it would take. I want to fall in love all over again with the experience of 11 years to our credit. I get excited thinking about a cerimony and a fancy dress and having all our friends gather together (and eating cake of course). If that's all I get out of this year, I will have missed the mark again however. This year leading up to our second wedding is an opportunity to lay the ground work for the rest of our lives. It is an opportunity for a fresh new beginning. We can commit to leaving the past behind us and pressing on toward the future God has for our marriage and our family. It's an opportunity to share what God is doing in our lives and hope that we can help just one other couple along their journey.
As Philippians 3:12-14 (NLT) says...
"I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Not in our house!
Why is it so easy to focus on the bad? Why do we allow ourselves to believe lies? Why do we get sucked into despair and believe that we are anything less than the craftsmanship of the Almighty Creator? I can't believe that anyone wants to feel that way so why does it happen?
So why...why....why?
Romans 7:17-25 (MSG) says it like this.
"But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."
Last night God lead us through an exercise based on Philippians 4:8. I asked Tyrone to make a list of 10 things that are good in his life. He did. We talked about each thing on the list - what was good about each one of them. We read Philippians 4:8. "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
The Bible does a great job of showing us the difficulty Jesus went through leading up to his arrest. He asked God to take away the burden of the cross, but surrendered to God's will and not his own. He was perfect after all - He is God! He prayed for himself, for him disciples, for all believers that will ever live. What an incredible example of how to handle our challenging times. After all, the power of the living God lives in each of us once we accept Jesus as our Savior.
I am not only thinking of our situation as I write this. I am thinking of Amy and Jeff who have 2 mortgages. I am thinking of Kristen who just lost a baby. I am thinking of Andrew who stays committed to a wife who battles extreme depression. I am thinking of Rebecca who went through a divorce. I am thinking of Jessica who is recovering from a childhood of abuse. I am thinking of countless others who are in the midst of a battle- some big some small, but all significant to the people walking through it.
So we have a choice. A choice to focus on the good, the blessing, the cross. A choice to focus on our sin, our dispair, the lies satan wants to convince us are true.
Well not in our house! I claim the power of the name of Jesus Chirst and what he accomplished on the cross. He defeated death so we can LIVE FOREVER with him. He has the power, and therefore we do too, to defeat the darkness and step into HIS LIGHT.
"Make the Most of Me" by Marie Miller
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6amferhwFJ0&feature=related
So why...why....why?
Romans 7:17-25 (MSG) says it like this.
"But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.
It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question? The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."
Last night God lead us through an exercise based on Philippians 4:8. I asked Tyrone to make a list of 10 things that are good in his life. He did. We talked about each thing on the list - what was good about each one of them. We read Philippians 4:8. "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
The Bible does a great job of showing us the difficulty Jesus went through leading up to his arrest. He asked God to take away the burden of the cross, but surrendered to God's will and not his own. He was perfect after all - He is God! He prayed for himself, for him disciples, for all believers that will ever live. What an incredible example of how to handle our challenging times. After all, the power of the living God lives in each of us once we accept Jesus as our Savior.
I am not only thinking of our situation as I write this. I am thinking of Amy and Jeff who have 2 mortgages. I am thinking of Kristen who just lost a baby. I am thinking of Andrew who stays committed to a wife who battles extreme depression. I am thinking of Rebecca who went through a divorce. I am thinking of Jessica who is recovering from a childhood of abuse. I am thinking of countless others who are in the midst of a battle- some big some small, but all significant to the people walking through it.
So we have a choice. A choice to focus on the good, the blessing, the cross. A choice to focus on our sin, our dispair, the lies satan wants to convince us are true.
Well not in our house! I claim the power of the name of Jesus Chirst and what he accomplished on the cross. He defeated death so we can LIVE FOREVER with him. He has the power, and therefore we do too, to defeat the darkness and step into HIS LIGHT.
"Make the Most of Me" by Marie Miller
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6amferhwFJ0&feature=related
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Fastest Highest Strongest
Wow! Can I get a minute to stop and just breathe? The last two weeks have been wild as I begin this new adventure. In the middle of a busy Sunday morning, I was able to be still long enough to hear from God - which is incredibly hard to do when you are "on staff" with a church. Sunday is now a work day and a worship day. That is going to be a big shift and take a little while to get used to. I am beginning to grab hold of the magnitude of this awesome responsibility. I am used to praying for the leadership of my church, but now as I pray those prayers I realize that includes me and my family. So what that also means is that satan is on the war path. He wants to destroy what God has clearly put together. So certainly I need your prayers against the enemy, for unity in our family, and for the glory of God to shine on.
After only 1 year of being completely out of the workforce, I find it difficult to adjust to the "balance" of home and a part time job. How did I do 2 or 3 part time jobs at the same time before? I was crazy! Things will get easier in a couple weeks when Jeremiah and Maiesha start school. I also have an amazing friend who is going to help me one day each week with Lydia. That will give both of us a break from each other as we adjust to life with just the two of us.
Tyrone and I are walking through some challenges together right now. It is very hard, but it is also a huge answer to prayers. I think God is birthing a new vision for our marriage and our family. At the very least, he is helping us rediscover what we had lost sight of. The first year in Fayetteville has caused the baggage to break open and allow us an opportunity to process and become stronger. The best part is we are doing it TOGETHER which is incredible. We will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary on August 18 and I couldn't be happier to brag about all God has brought us through in those 11 years. He is clearly working out more of his plan right now by cleaning up more of our crap. As Tyrone and I talk and share, I can see once again how God has been preparing us for these moments.
Jeremiah and Maiesha are very excited to begin school on August 20. We have spent a good bit of time with reading, math, shapes, and colors this summer. Jeremiah is reading chapter books a little, doing more advanced math, and finally putting Legos together without our help. Maiesha is thrilled to be adding and subtracting, and she loves to "repeat after me" when we read a book together. They are both proficient swimmers after a couple weeks of swimming lessons and now we are counting the days 'til our school year routine is back in full swing. I can't wait to put away my referee hat.
Lydia is growing so fast. She was 18 months old July 31. She is running and jumping and climbing. She knows what she wants and how to get it (or how to get me to get it). We taught her to say the Gamecock chant...I say 'Game' your say 'Cocks'. GAME...COCKS! It is too cute. She says new words everyday, but the best was a week ago when Tyrone asked her what her name was. She put her hand to her chest and said "ydia". She prefers to use a fork now instead of her hands and she really like to drink from a regular cup like the rest of us. There is also a wild, mischieveous streak emerging which I am not so thrilled about.
Tyrone had a great summer in the classroom and the lab. I know year two is going to be even better as he welcomes his first 2 PhD students and continues to mold a very bright undergrad who will begin the Master's program next semester. Year one proved much more challenging than he anticipated, but he is starting to settle into a rhythm now and he has wonderful support from colleagues and administration.
As we sang "Break Every Chain" this morning it became the prayer of my heart. God please continue to work out the details of our lives and give us the courage to "live by faith" (Habakkuk 2:4) and just trust YOU. I claim the power of the name of Jesus, and I believe it will overcome the darkness of this world. Give us strength and perserverance to pursue more of Jesus and less of this world.
"Break Every Chain" by Jesus Culture http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOyjD5Zw2ew
After only 1 year of being completely out of the workforce, I find it difficult to adjust to the "balance" of home and a part time job. How did I do 2 or 3 part time jobs at the same time before? I was crazy! Things will get easier in a couple weeks when Jeremiah and Maiesha start school. I also have an amazing friend who is going to help me one day each week with Lydia. That will give both of us a break from each other as we adjust to life with just the two of us.
We have been very focused on the Olympic Games since the opening ceremonies. I really enjoy watching the competitions and the personal stories of triumph. Jeremiah wants to be Michael Phelps and Maiesha has taken an interest in gymnastics and Gabby Douglas. It's amazing how quickly you "get attached" to the athletes and their stories.
The Olympic motto is “Fastest Highest Strongest”.
We can use this motto in our walk with Jesus who is the definition of fastest, highest and strongest. “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength (Strongest). They will soar on wings like eagles (Highest); they will run (Fastest) and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)Tyrone and I are walking through some challenges together right now. It is very hard, but it is also a huge answer to prayers. I think God is birthing a new vision for our marriage and our family. At the very least, he is helping us rediscover what we had lost sight of. The first year in Fayetteville has caused the baggage to break open and allow us an opportunity to process and become stronger. The best part is we are doing it TOGETHER which is incredible. We will celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary on August 18 and I couldn't be happier to brag about all God has brought us through in those 11 years. He is clearly working out more of his plan right now by cleaning up more of our crap. As Tyrone and I talk and share, I can see once again how God has been preparing us for these moments.
Jeremiah and Maiesha are very excited to begin school on August 20. We have spent a good bit of time with reading, math, shapes, and colors this summer. Jeremiah is reading chapter books a little, doing more advanced math, and finally putting Legos together without our help. Maiesha is thrilled to be adding and subtracting, and she loves to "repeat after me" when we read a book together. They are both proficient swimmers after a couple weeks of swimming lessons and now we are counting the days 'til our school year routine is back in full swing. I can't wait to put away my referee hat.
Lydia is growing so fast. She was 18 months old July 31. She is running and jumping and climbing. She knows what she wants and how to get it (or how to get me to get it). We taught her to say the Gamecock chant...I say 'Game' your say 'Cocks'. GAME...COCKS! It is too cute. She says new words everyday, but the best was a week ago when Tyrone asked her what her name was. She put her hand to her chest and said "ydia". She prefers to use a fork now instead of her hands and she really like to drink from a regular cup like the rest of us. There is also a wild, mischieveous streak emerging which I am not so thrilled about.
Tyrone had a great summer in the classroom and the lab. I know year two is going to be even better as he welcomes his first 2 PhD students and continues to mold a very bright undergrad who will begin the Master's program next semester. Year one proved much more challenging than he anticipated, but he is starting to settle into a rhythm now and he has wonderful support from colleagues and administration.
As we sang "Break Every Chain" this morning it became the prayer of my heart. God please continue to work out the details of our lives and give us the courage to "live by faith" (Habakkuk 2:4) and just trust YOU. I claim the power of the name of Jesus, and I believe it will overcome the darkness of this world. Give us strength and perserverance to pursue more of Jesus and less of this world.
"Break Every Chain" by Jesus Culture http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOyjD5Zw2ew
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Strength will Rise
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT)
What does "with ALL your heart" really mean? Do I believe he is worthy of ALL my heart? Do I live like he WILL show me which path to take? Do I actually lean on my own understanding even the Word of God tells me not to? When do I seek his will since, if I am honest, is not in ALL I do?
A year ago today we set forth on a journey of trusting God in moving our family to Fayetteville, AR. It was our last Sunday at our church in Evansville, IN. It was the last day to say good-bye to the life we had known for 4 short years. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of our departure. After 8 long hours of loading a moving truck and storing some things that would not fit (this was supposed to take 4 hours in my "perfect" planning), we drove away from our rental house trusting God was working out a plan for us that we only had a glimpse of at that point.
Here we are a year later, and while I still cannot see the whole picture of his plan, I definitely see many more brush strokes and far more colors than I would have used if I were him. So it is certainly by design that the sermon series Pastor Charlie started last week in Habakkuk is all about trusting God. Trusting him when circumstances get difficult. Trusting him when he tells me to wait. Trusting him when I don't get my way. Trusting him when life doesn't make sense. Trusting him to lead me when I want to take control and do it myself.
It is also by design that God used the story of Nehemiah (in the series "Guardrails" by Andy Stanley) last summer as a foundation for my first year in Fayetteville and now he is using Nehemiah again (in "Visioneering" by Andy Stanley) to grow my leadership skills in my new job and develop the vision he has birthed in me for feeding hungry children in NW Arkansas. I never stop being absolutely amazed at how he has been preparing me and training me for years for the new roles I am taking on in year two of the Fayetteville, AR chapter of our lives. In hind sight, I can be truly thankful that I could not see all the details of God's plan when I thought I wanted them. Now I need to work on that same thankfulness in foresight.
So the question that resonates in my mind today as I reflect over this first year and look forward to the next is "How do I continue to trust God more and wait for his direction with the new opportunities in front of me?" I have learned over the years when God really wants me to "get it" he comes at me with the same concepts from several different angles. He is definitely doing that yet again with all this trusting in and waiting on Him stuff. Just because I can see a little more of the plan doesn't mean I should rush off in my own strength and tackle it all without him. As I get more excited about the possibilities and caught up in to-do lists, he keeps reminding me that everything I do must begin and end in prayer and careful consultation of his Word. Oh, and by the way, before all these "other things" there is a husband and 3 adorable children who need my devotion - who deserve my undivided attention at various time EVERY DAY - because my family is the first and best vision God has birthed in me.
So as we sang today my strength will rise when I wait upon the Lord and allow him to grow and develop his plan for me in his perfect time. Easy to say. Moving to sing. Tough to do, but I am ready!
"Everlasting God" by Lincoln Brewster
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP2nz6PG8KM
What does "with ALL your heart" really mean? Do I believe he is worthy of ALL my heart? Do I live like he WILL show me which path to take? Do I actually lean on my own understanding even the Word of God tells me not to? When do I seek his will since, if I am honest, is not in ALL I do?
A year ago today we set forth on a journey of trusting God in moving our family to Fayetteville, AR. It was our last Sunday at our church in Evansville, IN. It was the last day to say good-bye to the life we had known for 4 short years. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of our departure. After 8 long hours of loading a moving truck and storing some things that would not fit (this was supposed to take 4 hours in my "perfect" planning), we drove away from our rental house trusting God was working out a plan for us that we only had a glimpse of at that point.
Here we are a year later, and while I still cannot see the whole picture of his plan, I definitely see many more brush strokes and far more colors than I would have used if I were him. So it is certainly by design that the sermon series Pastor Charlie started last week in Habakkuk is all about trusting God. Trusting him when circumstances get difficult. Trusting him when he tells me to wait. Trusting him when I don't get my way. Trusting him when life doesn't make sense. Trusting him to lead me when I want to take control and do it myself.
It is also by design that God used the story of Nehemiah (in the series "Guardrails" by Andy Stanley) last summer as a foundation for my first year in Fayetteville and now he is using Nehemiah again (in "Visioneering" by Andy Stanley) to grow my leadership skills in my new job and develop the vision he has birthed in me for feeding hungry children in NW Arkansas. I never stop being absolutely amazed at how he has been preparing me and training me for years for the new roles I am taking on in year two of the Fayetteville, AR chapter of our lives. In hind sight, I can be truly thankful that I could not see all the details of God's plan when I thought I wanted them. Now I need to work on that same thankfulness in foresight.
So the question that resonates in my mind today as I reflect over this first year and look forward to the next is "How do I continue to trust God more and wait for his direction with the new opportunities in front of me?" I have learned over the years when God really wants me to "get it" he comes at me with the same concepts from several different angles. He is definitely doing that yet again with all this trusting in and waiting on Him stuff. Just because I can see a little more of the plan doesn't mean I should rush off in my own strength and tackle it all without him. As I get more excited about the possibilities and caught up in to-do lists, he keeps reminding me that everything I do must begin and end in prayer and careful consultation of his Word. Oh, and by the way, before all these "other things" there is a husband and 3 adorable children who need my devotion - who deserve my undivided attention at various time EVERY DAY - because my family is the first and best vision God has birthed in me.
So as we sang today my strength will rise when I wait upon the Lord and allow him to grow and develop his plan for me in his perfect time. Easy to say. Moving to sing. Tough to do, but I am ready!
"Everlasting God" by Lincoln Brewster
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP2nz6PG8KM
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
A visit that was long over due
Tyrone and I came by to visit you last week. Sorry it took 3 years, but it was much harder to make the short drive over to your resting place from mom and dad's house than I thought it would be. We spent some time the night before looking through family pictures so after our workout at the high school track I finally worked up the courage to visit. I think about you often and your picture hangs in our living room. I have a sweet picture of you and grandma on your anniversary years ago. You are looking at each other with an endearing smile that speaks volumes of the love you shared although we never really hear the words. The picture hangs in a shadow box framed in an American flag mat. A shell from your 21-gun salute and flowers that decorated your coffin sit inside the box.
It is HOT early this summer. Last week in particular reminds everyone of the drought of 1988. The grass is still green around your headstone, but is is crunchy to step on and brown spots will certainly start showing unless more rain falls soon. There is a vine of red flowers wrapped around your headstone and a veteran's emblem with a flag for the 4th of July. It seems like only yesterday our whole family stood here to say our last good-byes to you. That day is so vivid in my mind and my tears are no less real today than they were then. We sang one of your favorite hymns "In the Garden" that day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RadBma-4P4&feature=related Listening to it now is a wonderful reminder of you.
I don't know if you would remember my kids, Jeremiah and Maiesha - they were very little when you first started getting sick. They wanted to explore the big barn during the family gathering we had at your house. Much like we used to, I think they might have stayed to play all night if I had let them. There is no straw or hay in there anymore (big round bales are less labor intensive), but we climbed on the big beam in the east hayloft and I explained how I used to do the same. Jeremiah carried his toy pistol and Captain America shield. He is very interested in the Army right now so he would enjoy your World War II stories. I thought of you while we played and couldn't help but think you would have been smiling if you were there to watch them climb and pretent. I even showed them the wooden basketball backboard that still hangs in there. I explained to them how you put it in the barn for your kids when they were young. There are too many holes in the floor to play now. We have to walk carefully so not to fall through a hole disguised by straw chaff.
Things have been changing since you left for heaven. Some old has gone away and some new has come along. Dad and Adam tore down the old shed next to the big barn. It had served its useful life and now the cement pad is all that remains. They invest a lot of time remaking the 150 year old homestead into useful tools for 21st century farming. Adam remarried a year and a half ago and gained a step-son who calls him daddy. He and his wife have started a new business at their house that they really enjoy running it together. Tyrone and I moved to Fayetteville, AR a year ago after 4 years in Evansville. We also have another girl, Lydia. She is 17 months old and I often wish you could have held her. Mom and Dad are working toward a new "normal" since you have been gone, and I know they miss you too. When we were looking at old pictures of the family Dad stared at your pictures and commented about what a handsome man you were.
Grandma is her silly self, but the years are beginning to show. She is very stubborn about somethings including the hearing aids she must wear to help her regain a little of the hearing she has lost. Aunt Leota left us a few months ago so I guess Grandma is the last of her generation now. I overheard her talking about you with Eric. She said she had the best husband ever. It is hard for me to listen to her talk about you, but I love the stories she has shared about your "softer" side. I remember the first time I walked into your house after you were gone. I so expected to see you sitting in your chair watching baseball or listening to southern gospel music. That day I just collapsed into Grandma's shoulder and cried. I can still hear your voice sometimes booming through the house.
You are missed, but I am glad you are in heaven enjoying eternity with Jesus. I know it is selfish of me to wish you were here so I will just hold on to memories of you. I have more compassion toward elderly folks after watching you the last few years of your life. It was truly a pleasure to help care for you, the little bit I did, whenever we would visit. Because of your hard fought battle, I am much more aware of Alzheimer's and how I might be able to encourage families who are on that journey with a loved one. I promise I won't forget my favorite grandpa, and I will share my memories with my children. I am so glad we made sure to take pictures of you with our children so it will be easier to tell them about you. Thanks for your strength and even your stubbornness. I see you in my Dad and of course myself. I believe your legacy is living on in a way that would make you proud.
I won't let so much time pass by before I visit again. Love always, Lynette
It is HOT early this summer. Last week in particular reminds everyone of the drought of 1988. The grass is still green around your headstone, but is is crunchy to step on and brown spots will certainly start showing unless more rain falls soon. There is a vine of red flowers wrapped around your headstone and a veteran's emblem with a flag for the 4th of July. It seems like only yesterday our whole family stood here to say our last good-byes to you. That day is so vivid in my mind and my tears are no less real today than they were then. We sang one of your favorite hymns "In the Garden" that day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RadBma-4P4&feature=related Listening to it now is a wonderful reminder of you.
I don't know if you would remember my kids, Jeremiah and Maiesha - they were very little when you first started getting sick. They wanted to explore the big barn during the family gathering we had at your house. Much like we used to, I think they might have stayed to play all night if I had let them. There is no straw or hay in there anymore (big round bales are less labor intensive), but we climbed on the big beam in the east hayloft and I explained how I used to do the same. Jeremiah carried his toy pistol and Captain America shield. He is very interested in the Army right now so he would enjoy your World War II stories. I thought of you while we played and couldn't help but think you would have been smiling if you were there to watch them climb and pretent. I even showed them the wooden basketball backboard that still hangs in there. I explained to them how you put it in the barn for your kids when they were young. There are too many holes in the floor to play now. We have to walk carefully so not to fall through a hole disguised by straw chaff.
Things have been changing since you left for heaven. Some old has gone away and some new has come along. Dad and Adam tore down the old shed next to the big barn. It had served its useful life and now the cement pad is all that remains. They invest a lot of time remaking the 150 year old homestead into useful tools for 21st century farming. Adam remarried a year and a half ago and gained a step-son who calls him daddy. He and his wife have started a new business at their house that they really enjoy running it together. Tyrone and I moved to Fayetteville, AR a year ago after 4 years in Evansville. We also have another girl, Lydia. She is 17 months old and I often wish you could have held her. Mom and Dad are working toward a new "normal" since you have been gone, and I know they miss you too. When we were looking at old pictures of the family Dad stared at your pictures and commented about what a handsome man you were.
Grandma is her silly self, but the years are beginning to show. She is very stubborn about somethings including the hearing aids she must wear to help her regain a little of the hearing she has lost. Aunt Leota left us a few months ago so I guess Grandma is the last of her generation now. I overheard her talking about you with Eric. She said she had the best husband ever. It is hard for me to listen to her talk about you, but I love the stories she has shared about your "softer" side. I remember the first time I walked into your house after you were gone. I so expected to see you sitting in your chair watching baseball or listening to southern gospel music. That day I just collapsed into Grandma's shoulder and cried. I can still hear your voice sometimes booming through the house.
You are missed, but I am glad you are in heaven enjoying eternity with Jesus. I know it is selfish of me to wish you were here so I will just hold on to memories of you. I have more compassion toward elderly folks after watching you the last few years of your life. It was truly a pleasure to help care for you, the little bit I did, whenever we would visit. Because of your hard fought battle, I am much more aware of Alzheimer's and how I might be able to encourage families who are on that journey with a loved one. I promise I won't forget my favorite grandpa, and I will share my memories with my children. I am so glad we made sure to take pictures of you with our children so it will be easier to tell them about you. Thanks for your strength and even your stubbornness. I see you in my Dad and of course myself. I believe your legacy is living on in a way that would make you proud.
I won't let so much time pass by before I visit again. Love always, Lynette
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Ahhhh...Refreshing
I thought it was time to give an update on what we have been up to with our adopted family, or rather what God has been up to in us as a result of the time and resources we are investing. After we returned from our trip to South Carolina we jumped back in with a trip to the library the very next day. The month of June has been challenging to say the least. We are learning how to trust God more and more as we continue to pray and seek his direction for our involvement with this family. We continue to provide a meal every Friday and do other things during the week as we are able. We get down and weary. We get frustrated. If I am being completely honest, we want to rewind time and just forget it sometimes . It seems that when I get in one of these very low moments, that is when God really shows up to confirm that we are doing just what he wants us to do. Obeying isn't always fun. It certainly isn't easy, but it is worth it because He is making a difference even when we don't see it.
I hosted my month "Lunch at Lynette's" on June 12. A friend, Randi and her boys, from our church came for the first time. Our adopted mom, Kema and her kids, Abby and Sam, were here too. They were the last two families here. Randi and Kema were visiting together while I was picking up toys and checking on the kids. Before I know it, Randi is sitting with Kema praying with her. Out of those moments a community outreach project was born and Randi and her family brought Kema and her kids to church for the first time the next Sunday. God is AWESOME!
Last week I took Jeremiah and Maiesha to Vacation Bible School at a local church downtown. We invited Abby to join us and we ended up "doing life" witih them all week. I think we over extended ourselves a little, but God came through for us. The theme Bible verse for VBS was from Mark 10:27 "Everything is possible with God." How appropriate and certainly not by accident. Lydia and I would stay to listen to the opening songs most days and it almost brought me to tears. God had a message for me at VBS too.
Fly! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATsYrLG3Z9s&feature=relmfu
He provided wonderful encouragement from the prayers of dear friends that week. Heidi and Randi both had time to talk and pray over the phone with me which was like a huge breath of fresh air. Tyrone's Aunt Princetta emailed a few week ago after reading about what we are doing. She emailed again last week to say she was sending a "small donation" to help us out. Yesterday her "not small to us" donation arrived and we were able to get a lot of groceries and household items for the family. Our wonderful friend's Anne and Ryan did the same thing back in May. All together people from NW Arkansas, Ohio and Alabama have partnered with us in giving $530 in donations to provide clothing, a date, groceries, and household items that we can give all throughout the summer. God is making a difference even if I can't see it in the immediate way I want each day.
He is blessing us all over the place. With great friends who took care of the kids last week so we could have a date night. With sweet ladies at church who are going to thoroughly clean for me as I begin my new job as Children's Ministry Director next month. Tyrone was awarded his first grant at work and has an awesome lead on another one. It just goes on and on. Great new friends who come over to have lunch. And others who want to start a "Taco Night" tradition with us. I am overwhelmed!
Palm 32:10 says "Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord."
This is another VBS song about trusting in God. No coincidence.
You, You, You http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw9KSFFifkE
I feel completely surrounded by His unfailing love. It is so encouraging to be lifted up by the thoughts and prayers of others. I hope we can continue to inspire people to get involved with us or in their own communities. This family can't understand, yet, why we would want to help them. They say we don't have to. They say they will survive. I say this is about obeying and trusting God. I say God doesn't want people to just survive. He wants they to enjoy Life in Him to the fullest. How can I ignore that? How can I ignore Him?
The following is Psam 68:1-10. I found it this morning. I think it serves as a wonderful prayer over our adopted family, my family, and all those who have or will come along for the journey. Verse 9 is especially sweet to me. God has sent abundant rain to refresh my wear land and I trust that he will continue to do so as long as I am allowing Him to lead.
Rise up, O God, and scatter your enemies.
Let those who hate God run for their lives.
2 Blow them away like smoke.
Melt them like wax in a fire.
Let the wicked perish in the presence of God.
3 But let the godly rejoice.
Let them be glad in God’s presence.
Let them be filled with joy.
4 Sing praises to God and to his name!
Sing loud praises to him who rides the clouds.
His name is the Lord—
rejoice in his presence!
I hosted my month "Lunch at Lynette's" on June 12. A friend, Randi and her boys, from our church came for the first time. Our adopted mom, Kema and her kids, Abby and Sam, were here too. They were the last two families here. Randi and Kema were visiting together while I was picking up toys and checking on the kids. Before I know it, Randi is sitting with Kema praying with her. Out of those moments a community outreach project was born and Randi and her family brought Kema and her kids to church for the first time the next Sunday. God is AWESOME!
Last week I took Jeremiah and Maiesha to Vacation Bible School at a local church downtown. We invited Abby to join us and we ended up "doing life" witih them all week. I think we over extended ourselves a little, but God came through for us. The theme Bible verse for VBS was from Mark 10:27 "Everything is possible with God." How appropriate and certainly not by accident. Lydia and I would stay to listen to the opening songs most days and it almost brought me to tears. God had a message for me at VBS too.
Fly! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATsYrLG3Z9s&feature=relmfu
He provided wonderful encouragement from the prayers of dear friends that week. Heidi and Randi both had time to talk and pray over the phone with me which was like a huge breath of fresh air. Tyrone's Aunt Princetta emailed a few week ago after reading about what we are doing. She emailed again last week to say she was sending a "small donation" to help us out. Yesterday her "not small to us" donation arrived and we were able to get a lot of groceries and household items for the family. Our wonderful friend's Anne and Ryan did the same thing back in May. All together people from NW Arkansas, Ohio and Alabama have partnered with us in giving $530 in donations to provide clothing, a date, groceries, and household items that we can give all throughout the summer. God is making a difference even if I can't see it in the immediate way I want each day.
He is blessing us all over the place. With great friends who took care of the kids last week so we could have a date night. With sweet ladies at church who are going to thoroughly clean for me as I begin my new job as Children's Ministry Director next month. Tyrone was awarded his first grant at work and has an awesome lead on another one. It just goes on and on. Great new friends who come over to have lunch. And others who want to start a "Taco Night" tradition with us. I am overwhelmed!
Palm 32:10 says "Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord."
This is another VBS song about trusting in God. No coincidence.
You, You, You http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw9KSFFifkE
I feel completely surrounded by His unfailing love. It is so encouraging to be lifted up by the thoughts and prayers of others. I hope we can continue to inspire people to get involved with us or in their own communities. This family can't understand, yet, why we would want to help them. They say we don't have to. They say they will survive. I say this is about obeying and trusting God. I say God doesn't want people to just survive. He wants they to enjoy Life in Him to the fullest. How can I ignore that? How can I ignore Him?
The following is Psam 68:1-10. I found it this morning. I think it serves as a wonderful prayer over our adopted family, my family, and all those who have or will come along for the journey. Verse 9 is especially sweet to me. God has sent abundant rain to refresh my wear land and I trust that he will continue to do so as long as I am allowing Him to lead.
Rise up, O God, and scatter your enemies.
Let those who hate God run for their lives.
2 Blow them away like smoke.
Melt them like wax in a fire.
Let the wicked perish in the presence of God.
3 But let the godly rejoice.
Let them be glad in God’s presence.
Let them be filled with joy.
4 Sing praises to God and to his name!
Sing loud praises to him who rides the clouds.
His name is the Lord—
rejoice in his presence!
5 Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—
this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
6 God places the lonely in families;
he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
6 God places the lonely in families;
he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
7 O God, when you led your people out from Egypt,
when you marched through the dry wasteland,
when you marched through the dry wasteland,
Interlude
8 the earth trembled, and the heavens poured down rain
before you, the God of Sinai,
before God, the God of Israel.
9 You sent abundant rain, O God,
to refresh the weary land.10 There your people finally settled,
and with a bountiful harvest, O God,
you provided for your needy people.
8 the earth trembled, and the heavens poured down rain
before you, the God of Sinai,
before God, the God of Israel.
9 You sent abundant rain, O God,
to refresh the weary land.10 There your people finally settled,
and with a bountiful harvest, O God,
you provided for your needy people.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
No Less Days
I just celebrated my 34th birthday on June 16. As I have mentioned before, I am uncomfortable with the aging process. God is working on me though and he has given me some new insight this week as I reflect on my journey with Him.
I volunteered to officiate a track & field meet on my birthday. I had time to walk a mile on the track before we started. I was praying as I always do when I walk. I thanked God for blessing me with these 34 - pretty amazing when I think about it - years on his earth. That prayer has lingered in my heart all week, and I realized how I have been holding on to an identity from years gone by. This year has been about changing my identity to get it lined up with God's identity. In the fear of getting older, I was missing the new identity I have as a 30-something. I could never have experienced the life I have now without that past 34 years. So there are great memories and incredible experiences. There were victories and defeats. I have do things that some people only dream of and I still dream of how God will continue to use all the seasons of my life for his glory. Now I see that life keeps getting sweeter as I learn to let God lead and holding on to youth just keeps me from fullfilling His plans for me.
While driving to pick up Jeremiah and Maiesha from VBS, "Inside Out" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPrK3FP9Yrs by Hillsong came on the radio. I have heard this song a lot, but I really tried to LISTEN this time. I know that my exterior - my physical body - is what it is. I do a good job of eating right, exercising and taking care of my body, but not for superficial purposes or to "live longer". I want my body to be healthy and strong so I can do all that God calls me to do, but aging is inevitable - a part of life is death. I see taking care of my body as one way I can be obedient to him. I see the new work God is creating from my inside out with each year that passes.
"Because we understand our fearful responsibility to the Lord, we work hard to persuade others. God knows we are sincere, and I hope you know this, too. Are we commending ourselves to you again? No, we are giving you a reason to be proud of us, so you can answer those who brag about having a spectacular ministry rather than having a sincere heart. If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.
So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ."
(2 Corinthians 5:11-21 NLT)
So I am the one hung up on time. God is not bound by it. He created it. "A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day." (2 Peter 3:8 NLT) It doesn't matter my age in "earth years" because I am going to live forever. Each day here is a gift that I should use to invest in God's kingdom. Loving my husband and children. Reaching the lost. Feeding the hungry. Encouraging the broken. Pulling up those who are down. Serving my church family. Who really cares about this annoying wrinkle on my forehead or the year at the end of birthdate.
What matters is that I have no less time to worship my Savior than when I first invited him into my life. I am not running out of time. It's more like a countdown 'til the last move I'll ever make. Jesus went to prepare a place for me in heaven. Each season of this earthly life offers new adventures - new challenges - new opportunities to develop my gifts and talents all for the glory of my Creator.
One of the last verses of Amazing Grace http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4qbmPpfG6s reads, "when we've been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we first begun." What a great perspective!
I volunteered to officiate a track & field meet on my birthday. I had time to walk a mile on the track before we started. I was praying as I always do when I walk. I thanked God for blessing me with these 34 - pretty amazing when I think about it - years on his earth. That prayer has lingered in my heart all week, and I realized how I have been holding on to an identity from years gone by. This year has been about changing my identity to get it lined up with God's identity. In the fear of getting older, I was missing the new identity I have as a 30-something. I could never have experienced the life I have now without that past 34 years. So there are great memories and incredible experiences. There were victories and defeats. I have do things that some people only dream of and I still dream of how God will continue to use all the seasons of my life for his glory. Now I see that life keeps getting sweeter as I learn to let God lead and holding on to youth just keeps me from fullfilling His plans for me.
While driving to pick up Jeremiah and Maiesha from VBS, "Inside Out" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPrK3FP9Yrs by Hillsong came on the radio. I have heard this song a lot, but I really tried to LISTEN this time. I know that my exterior - my physical body - is what it is. I do a good job of eating right, exercising and taking care of my body, but not for superficial purposes or to "live longer". I want my body to be healthy and strong so I can do all that God calls me to do, but aging is inevitable - a part of life is death. I see taking care of my body as one way I can be obedient to him. I see the new work God is creating from my inside out with each year that passes.
"Because we understand our fearful responsibility to the Lord, we work hard to persuade others. God knows we are sincere, and I hope you know this, too. Are we commending ourselves to you again? No, we are giving you a reason to be proud of us, so you can answer those who brag about having a spectacular ministry rather than having a sincere heart. If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them.
So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ."
(2 Corinthians 5:11-21 NLT)
So I am the one hung up on time. God is not bound by it. He created it. "A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day." (2 Peter 3:8 NLT) It doesn't matter my age in "earth years" because I am going to live forever. Each day here is a gift that I should use to invest in God's kingdom. Loving my husband and children. Reaching the lost. Feeding the hungry. Encouraging the broken. Pulling up those who are down. Serving my church family. Who really cares about this annoying wrinkle on my forehead or the year at the end of birthdate.
What matters is that I have no less time to worship my Savior than when I first invited him into my life. I am not running out of time. It's more like a countdown 'til the last move I'll ever make. Jesus went to prepare a place for me in heaven. Each season of this earthly life offers new adventures - new challenges - new opportunities to develop my gifts and talents all for the glory of my Creator.
One of the last verses of Amazing Grace http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4qbmPpfG6s reads, "when we've been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we first begun." What a great perspective!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Obey - a four letter word or the way to life
OBEY - to comply with or follow the commands, instructions of
Of what? The dictionary.com definition stopped there. For my purposes and my life I will put God at the end. Obey means to comply with or follow the commands, instructions, authority of God. Sounds a bit challenging. When you stop and think about it, it might be more like impossible, but that is what God wants from us. That is how we express our love toward him. Jesus said in John 14:15 "If you love me, obey my commands." Then in verse 21 he says "Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them." Later in verse 23 he says again "Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them."
Last week was our first week at home for summer break. The first couple days were rough. I was constantly breaking up arguments, bickering, and fighting between Jeremiah and Maiesha. I have been praying for a while over the summer break, but it took me a few days to figure out how to handle our new schedule/non-schedule. We talked almost constantly about obeying, listening, being kind to each other, and did I mention listening. I began to realize as the week wore on that much of their behavior was a product of the change in our environment. They miss their friends and school. We thrive in structure and that has been taken away. I had to be patient and lead the kids through this change rather than get upset with them for not obeying like I wanted. I had to become an example of good behavior so they had someone to follow rather than a mom to run away from as I run after then with my iron fist.
Apparently my children were not the only people who needed a refresher on obedience because Pastor Charlie's sermon was all about obedience last Sunday after our wild week. The nuts and bolts were what does God want me to stop doing and what should I start doing. This is not to get legalistic and create a list of all the "bad" things "good Christians" should not do. Or take license and ask for forgiveness after I mess up because it's too hard to do the right thing. It's is about listening to God through his Word and prayer to be able to discern what his plan is for my life. Once he reveals that plan to me, I have to trust him and follow it. God really got me good on the subjects of parenting and gossip. Learning to parent is a daily, lifelong challenge. Gossip is something that I have to be very careful to stay away from because I am easily tempted by it.
I am so excited about the amazing opportunities that are on the horizon for our family. It is safe to say it is all God revealing his plan as a result of obedience. By no means have I had a perfect first year in Arkansas, but it is obvious that if Tyrone and I had not obeyed in some very specific ways, we would not be experiencing these amazing blessings now. Some great things are starting to open up for his research at work. God has spoken directly about somethings and answered very specific prayers. The same is true for me with my new job starting July 23 and some wonderful relationships with folks at church and in the community. God has taught me a TON about my job as wife and mom through my obedience to "just" stay home this year.
So this week has gone much easier than last week. Yes, the kids are getting along better and we have come up with an accountability system with rewards that is helping. We are getting a schedule together to include reading, math, quiet time, fun and more fun.The biggest difference, however, is a change in attitude and God's faithfulness to keep reminding me to trust him as he reveals his plan in the daily grind and in the big picture. The best part is I don't have to do this alone under my own power and strength - God sent "the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[c] in you. (John 14:17)"
"Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuH1faTC22E
Of what? The dictionary.com definition stopped there. For my purposes and my life I will put God at the end. Obey means to comply with or follow the commands, instructions, authority of God. Sounds a bit challenging. When you stop and think about it, it might be more like impossible, but that is what God wants from us. That is how we express our love toward him. Jesus said in John 14:15 "If you love me, obey my commands." Then in verse 21 he says "Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them." Later in verse 23 he says again "Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them."
Last week was our first week at home for summer break. The first couple days were rough. I was constantly breaking up arguments, bickering, and fighting between Jeremiah and Maiesha. I have been praying for a while over the summer break, but it took me a few days to figure out how to handle our new schedule/non-schedule. We talked almost constantly about obeying, listening, being kind to each other, and did I mention listening. I began to realize as the week wore on that much of their behavior was a product of the change in our environment. They miss their friends and school. We thrive in structure and that has been taken away. I had to be patient and lead the kids through this change rather than get upset with them for not obeying like I wanted. I had to become an example of good behavior so they had someone to follow rather than a mom to run away from as I run after then with my iron fist.
Apparently my children were not the only people who needed a refresher on obedience because Pastor Charlie's sermon was all about obedience last Sunday after our wild week. The nuts and bolts were what does God want me to stop doing and what should I start doing. This is not to get legalistic and create a list of all the "bad" things "good Christians" should not do. Or take license and ask for forgiveness after I mess up because it's too hard to do the right thing. It's is about listening to God through his Word and prayer to be able to discern what his plan is for my life. Once he reveals that plan to me, I have to trust him and follow it. God really got me good on the subjects of parenting and gossip. Learning to parent is a daily, lifelong challenge. Gossip is something that I have to be very careful to stay away from because I am easily tempted by it.
I am so excited about the amazing opportunities that are on the horizon for our family. It is safe to say it is all God revealing his plan as a result of obedience. By no means have I had a perfect first year in Arkansas, but it is obvious that if Tyrone and I had not obeyed in some very specific ways, we would not be experiencing these amazing blessings now. Some great things are starting to open up for his research at work. God has spoken directly about somethings and answered very specific prayers. The same is true for me with my new job starting July 23 and some wonderful relationships with folks at church and in the community. God has taught me a TON about my job as wife and mom through my obedience to "just" stay home this year.
So this week has gone much easier than last week. Yes, the kids are getting along better and we have come up with an accountability system with rewards that is helping. We are getting a schedule together to include reading, math, quiet time, fun and more fun.The biggest difference, however, is a change in attitude and God's faithfulness to keep reminding me to trust him as he reveals his plan in the daily grind and in the big picture. The best part is I don't have to do this alone under my own power and strength - God sent "the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be[c] in you. (John 14:17)"
"Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuH1faTC22E
Monday, June 4, 2012
I am full!
Today was the first official day of summer break at our house. School was finished May 17 and May 24 for Maiesha and Jeremiah, but last week we were on vacation in South Carolina so I don't really count that. If today is any indication of how our summer is going to go, God is really going to be working on me in the area of patience and self-control. I must look at each argument I have to referee or mess that must get cleaned up as teachable moments for us all.
I am still running a little high on the wonderful week we had in South Carolina with friends and family. I felt the theme of our trip was encouragement. God sent us this specific week to meet a need of encouragement for many of the people we visited with and to be encouraged ourselves by the warm welcome we received.
2 Corinthians 7:13 "...In addition to our own encouragement, we were especially delighted to see how happy Titus was, because his spirit has been refreshed by all of you."
I hope we were a source of refreshment. There is nothing better on a hot day when you have been outside working hard in the yard than to sit down with an ice cold glass of water or lemonade or sweet tea perhaps. Sometimes a warm hug or an old familiar face can provide that same refreshment after a person has been toiling long and hard over life's challenges.
I know our hearts were refreshed as well each time we visited with another old friend. We would just pick up right where we left off the last time we saw each person. I never get tired of seeing the look on someone's face who didn't expect to see us standing in front of them. It was crazy to think we had not visited for two years. We always look forward to visiting some old familiar places too like Riverbanks Zoo, the beach, downtown Charleston, and the Lizard's Thicket. We also try to do so new things and this year "new things" took the form of new restaurant experiences. We ate very well all week long! We took in some "low country" cuisine at Magnolia's and The Dixie Supply Bakery & Cafe. We visited our favorite ice cream shop so I could get "Charleston Mud"and Tyrone his giant caramel and candy coated apple. I am happy to say we did get plenty of exercise every day which helped to offset our wreckless abandonment at mealtime.
The week was filled with some first time experiences for the kids. Jeremiah and Maiesha were overjoyed to experience flying on an airplane for the first time. They were thrilled when the flight attendant handed them each their Delta wings badge. I loved watching Lydia splash and play in the ocean for the first time. I didn't even mind that her diaper and swimsuit were full of sand when we were done or that she liked to eat the wet sand. We got caught in a rainstorm from the outer bands of Tropical Storm Beryl. Tyrone lived through Hurricane Hugo in 1988, but this was as close as I ever hope to come. We drove the kids by our old house for the first time since we left Columbia in 2007. Maiesha was only 8 months old then and Jeremiah not quite 2 1/2 so we didn't expect they would remember. It was really neat to share with them nonetheless. At the zoo, Lydia had her first merry-go-round ride which she was not super thrilled about but made it the whole ride on her bobbing animal. Jeremiah and Maiesha climbed 2-stories up on the Sky High Safari ropes course all by themselves. It was awesome to see them work together and conquer their fears on the obstacles.
I could go on and on. It seems like we fit a whole year's worth of things into 7 shorts days as I recount all that we did. The best part is I feel so full. Not like after gorging myself at the all-you-can-eat buffet, but full as in Psalm 23:5-6 "...My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever." I am incredibly thankful for all the friends and family who welcomed us "home" last week and the amazing experiences we had as a family.
I am still running a little high on the wonderful week we had in South Carolina with friends and family. I felt the theme of our trip was encouragement. God sent us this specific week to meet a need of encouragement for many of the people we visited with and to be encouraged ourselves by the warm welcome we received.
2 Corinthians 7:13 "...In addition to our own encouragement, we were especially delighted to see how happy Titus was, because his spirit has been refreshed by all of you."
I hope we were a source of refreshment. There is nothing better on a hot day when you have been outside working hard in the yard than to sit down with an ice cold glass of water or lemonade or sweet tea perhaps. Sometimes a warm hug or an old familiar face can provide that same refreshment after a person has been toiling long and hard over life's challenges.
I know our hearts were refreshed as well each time we visited with another old friend. We would just pick up right where we left off the last time we saw each person. I never get tired of seeing the look on someone's face who didn't expect to see us standing in front of them. It was crazy to think we had not visited for two years. We always look forward to visiting some old familiar places too like Riverbanks Zoo, the beach, downtown Charleston, and the Lizard's Thicket. We also try to do so new things and this year "new things" took the form of new restaurant experiences. We ate very well all week long! We took in some "low country" cuisine at Magnolia's and The Dixie Supply Bakery & Cafe. We visited our favorite ice cream shop so I could get "Charleston Mud"and Tyrone his giant caramel and candy coated apple. I am happy to say we did get plenty of exercise every day which helped to offset our wreckless abandonment at mealtime.
The week was filled with some first time experiences for the kids. Jeremiah and Maiesha were overjoyed to experience flying on an airplane for the first time. They were thrilled when the flight attendant handed them each their Delta wings badge. I loved watching Lydia splash and play in the ocean for the first time. I didn't even mind that her diaper and swimsuit were full of sand when we were done or that she liked to eat the wet sand. We got caught in a rainstorm from the outer bands of Tropical Storm Beryl. Tyrone lived through Hurricane Hugo in 1988, but this was as close as I ever hope to come. We drove the kids by our old house for the first time since we left Columbia in 2007. Maiesha was only 8 months old then and Jeremiah not quite 2 1/2 so we didn't expect they would remember. It was really neat to share with them nonetheless. At the zoo, Lydia had her first merry-go-round ride which she was not super thrilled about but made it the whole ride on her bobbing animal. Jeremiah and Maiesha climbed 2-stories up on the Sky High Safari ropes course all by themselves. It was awesome to see them work together and conquer their fears on the obstacles.
I could go on and on. It seems like we fit a whole year's worth of things into 7 shorts days as I recount all that we did. The best part is I feel so full. Not like after gorging myself at the all-you-can-eat buffet, but full as in Psalm 23:5-6 "...My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever." I am incredibly thankful for all the friends and family who welcomed us "home" last week and the amazing experiences we had as a family.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
I'm Not Home Yet
As of 3:05 this afternoon summer will officially begin at our house. We will pick Jeremiah up from his last day of first grade. The year has been a great one and I am looking forward to all the fun things we will get into this summer. We kick off our summer break tomorrow with a trip to South Carolina for a week. Jeremiah and Maiesha are very excited to be flying on an airplane for the first time and they have been counting the days for a couple weeks. Since leaving SC in August 2007 we have made an annual trip back to visit Tyrone's mom and all of our "family" in Columbia. We didn't get to go last year because it wasn't financially possible due to our move to Fayetteville. That makes this year's trip so much more special. I tend to get emotional about the simpliest of things, but this is a big deal. It is truely a homecoming feeling to be going back to my "adulthood home". It is where I learned how to live on my own. Where I found my husband. Where we were married. Where we bought our first house. Where our first two children were born. It is where we plan to retire someday.
I arrived in Columbia, SC in August 1996 a wide-eyed, naive 18 year old kid. I left 11 years later as a wife, mom, and grown-up. Now as we prepare to go home again, 1996 seems like a lifetime ago. I know I could not see the plans God had for me. I wasn't really even looking for them back then. I was just running in a new direction away from things I didn't like and toward something different and exciting. Now I realize I was running for self worth and significance. I was searching for value and meaning and where I fit in. It has taken a few years - a lot of trial and error - but I have found my significance.
It's like losing your phone inside your purse. You know it is in there. You can even hear it ringing, but you can't seem to put your hands on it. From the moment I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, I became acceptable to God.
"He does not just tolerate me. I am 100% acceptable to the perfect, holy, and righteous God Almighty. I am accepted by God for one reason: Christ has abolished the barrier and made peace with God through His blood on the cross. I have the righteousness of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21). I can't ever be any more acceptable to God that I am right now (Romans 5:8-10, Ephesians 2:14-18, Colossians 1:21-22)" (The Search for Significance p224)
All of the experiences I have had throughout my almost 34 years help me understand it and remind me of it as I often try to do things my way instead of His. "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) Not a knowing like I know I drive a red minivan, but a knowing that is deep and intimate and that I have complete faith and trust in.
In Jeremiah 29:10-14 God speaks to the Israelites who have been exiled from Jerusalem.
This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
I think this a picture of me and all Believers. We have to be exiled from home and the things God has promised us until we have learned how to seek Him with our whole heart. He has been teaching me how to do this through life's ebb and flow. Finally I am really starting to catch on. I was talking with one of my former athletes last night on the phone. She is facing a big decision - one that only she can make. I shared how in the last couple of years, more times than not, my first response to decisions and situations is to pray over it. Not just once or twice, but diligently seeking God's instruction. Then the answers just seems to come and be right and there is no doubt or question. Things just seem to "fall into place" and there is complete peace. SO much of my anxiety comes from trying to figure things out on my own or in making choices that I think will please others.
I don't know if South Carolina is my Jerusalem, but my heart leaps for joy as I think about returning there just for a visit. Ultimately all of God's plan points to heaven and His glory, so wherever I am I want to serve him and allow him to lead so I can experience all the plans he has for me this side of heaven. And then I can look forward to the day when I am home for all eternity with my Jesus.
"Where I Belong" by Building 429 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOtsB4O1p3o
I arrived in Columbia, SC in August 1996 a wide-eyed, naive 18 year old kid. I left 11 years later as a wife, mom, and grown-up. Now as we prepare to go home again, 1996 seems like a lifetime ago. I know I could not see the plans God had for me. I wasn't really even looking for them back then. I was just running in a new direction away from things I didn't like and toward something different and exciting. Now I realize I was running for self worth and significance. I was searching for value and meaning and where I fit in. It has taken a few years - a lot of trial and error - but I have found my significance.
It's like losing your phone inside your purse. You know it is in there. You can even hear it ringing, but you can't seem to put your hands on it. From the moment I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, I became acceptable to God.
"He does not just tolerate me. I am 100% acceptable to the perfect, holy, and righteous God Almighty. I am accepted by God for one reason: Christ has abolished the barrier and made peace with God through His blood on the cross. I have the righteousness of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21). I can't ever be any more acceptable to God that I am right now (Romans 5:8-10, Ephesians 2:14-18, Colossians 1:21-22)" (The Search for Significance p224)
All of the experiences I have had throughout my almost 34 years help me understand it and remind me of it as I often try to do things my way instead of His. "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) Not a knowing like I know I drive a red minivan, but a knowing that is deep and intimate and that I have complete faith and trust in.
In Jeremiah 29:10-14 God speaks to the Israelites who have been exiled from Jerusalem.
This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
I think this a picture of me and all Believers. We have to be exiled from home and the things God has promised us until we have learned how to seek Him with our whole heart. He has been teaching me how to do this through life's ebb and flow. Finally I am really starting to catch on. I was talking with one of my former athletes last night on the phone. She is facing a big decision - one that only she can make. I shared how in the last couple of years, more times than not, my first response to decisions and situations is to pray over it. Not just once or twice, but diligently seeking God's instruction. Then the answers just seems to come and be right and there is no doubt or question. Things just seem to "fall into place" and there is complete peace. SO much of my anxiety comes from trying to figure things out on my own or in making choices that I think will please others.
I don't know if South Carolina is my Jerusalem, but my heart leaps for joy as I think about returning there just for a visit. Ultimately all of God's plan points to heaven and His glory, so wherever I am I want to serve him and allow him to lead so I can experience all the plans he has for me this side of heaven. And then I can look forward to the day when I am home for all eternity with my Jesus.
"Where I Belong" by Building 429 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOtsB4O1p3o
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