As of 3:05 this afternoon summer will officially begin at our house. We will pick Jeremiah up from his last day of first grade. The year has been a great one and I am looking forward to all the fun things we will get into this summer. We kick off our summer break tomorrow with a trip to South Carolina for a week. Jeremiah and Maiesha are very excited to be flying on an airplane for the first time and they have been counting the days for a couple weeks. Since leaving SC in August 2007 we have made an annual trip back to visit Tyrone's mom and all of our "family" in Columbia. We didn't get to go last year because it wasn't financially possible due to our move to Fayetteville. That makes this year's trip so much more special. I tend to get emotional about the simpliest of things, but this is a big deal. It is truely a homecoming feeling to be going back to my "adulthood home". It is where I learned how to live on my own. Where I found my husband. Where we were married. Where we bought our first house. Where our first two children were born. It is where we plan to retire someday.
I arrived in Columbia, SC in August 1996 a wide-eyed, naive 18 year old kid. I left 11 years later as a wife, mom, and grown-up. Now as we prepare to go home again, 1996 seems like a lifetime ago. I know I could not see the plans God had for me. I wasn't really even looking for them back then. I was just running in a new direction away from things I didn't like and toward something different and exciting. Now I realize I was running for self worth and significance. I was searching for value and meaning and where I fit in. It has taken a few years - a lot of trial and error - but I have found my significance.
It's like losing your phone inside your purse. You know it is in there. You can even hear it ringing, but you can't seem to put your hands on it. From the moment I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, I became acceptable to God.
"He does not just tolerate me. I am 100% acceptable to the perfect, holy, and righteous God Almighty. I am accepted by God for one reason: Christ has abolished the barrier and made peace with God through His blood on the cross. I have the righteousness of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21). I can't ever be any more acceptable to God that I am right now (Romans 5:8-10, Ephesians 2:14-18, Colossians 1:21-22)" (The Search for Significance p224)
All of the experiences I have had throughout my almost 34 years help me understand it and remind me of it as I often try to do things my way instead of His. "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) Not a knowing like I know I drive a red minivan, but a knowing that is deep and intimate and that I have complete faith and trust in.
In Jeremiah 29:10-14 God speaks to the Israelites who have been exiled from Jerusalem.
This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
I think this a picture of me and all Believers. We have to be exiled from home and the things God has promised us until we have learned how to seek Him with our whole heart. He has been teaching me how to do this through life's ebb and flow. Finally I am really starting to catch on. I was talking with one of my former athletes last night on the phone. She is facing a big decision - one that only she can make. I shared how in the last couple of years, more times than not, my first response to decisions and situations is to pray over it. Not just once or twice, but diligently seeking God's instruction. Then the answers just seems to come and be right and there is no doubt or question. Things just seem to "fall into place" and there is complete peace. SO much of my anxiety comes from trying to figure things out on my own or in making choices that I think will please others.
I don't know if South Carolina is my Jerusalem, but my heart leaps for joy as I think about returning there just for a visit. Ultimately all of God's plan points to heaven and His glory, so wherever I am I want to serve him and allow him to lead so I can experience all the plans he has for me this side of heaven. And then I can look forward to the day when I am home for all eternity with my Jesus.
"Where I Belong" by Building 429 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOtsB4O1p3o
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