I got home earlier than usual today so I had 2 ½ hours to
myself. I finished my Bible study for the week. I am doing this incredible
study of the Sermon on the Mount by Jen Wilkin. I am feeling a bit beat down by
life and thought a nap might be a great next step for my remaining alone time.
No not today…today I decided to pull up my favorite song “Lord I Need You” and
have a little worship time. I am hitting replay for 5th time as I
type this sentence after sobbing on my knees during the 2nd and 3rd
repeats. I really understand in these moments, pondering all that is on my
heart, how much I need God and his saving grace. There is nothing I can do that
will separate me from him. I belong to him and that compels me to cry out to
him to worship him to be humble before him.
That’s what running is for me. It is a physical
representation of my need for God. My “success” at running is a representation
of God’s faithfulness as I trust him with every stride. Running is not
something I have ever enjoyed doing. I have always played sports so running was
something that had to be done to prepare me for the sport I was participating
in at the time. Some of my sports required more running of me than others, but
it was just a necessary evil to get my body prepared for the challenges of the
sport. I will never forget running 15 straight “suicides” in junior high
basketball because no one could make a free throw that day. I ran cross country
as a freshman in high school to build my conditioning for basketball. I ran
some relays and even the 2 mile once on the track team because coach required
me to do more than throw shot put and discus. I had to run a mile in 7 minutes
or less as a freshman basketball player at the University of South Carolina
just weeks after I arrived on campus. My time of 6:46 is still one of my
greatest accomplishments. It’s what I had to do in order to do what I wanted to
do. I guess it should come as no surprise that I ended up on the track team at
South Carolina throwing shot put in the end. It was the thing I was most successful
at and my 15 minutes of fame as an SEC Champion and National qualifier. We didn’t
run a lot and the most applicable running drill was the 30 yard sprint - short
and sweet and over in less than 5 seconds. I loved lifting heavy weights. I
loved throwing heavy objects. Running was something you did if you were late
for something.
Fast forward to May 2014 and Brandi Harris invited me to run
in the Tulsa 15K (9.3 miles) in October. (We had talked about running a year
earlier when I was still pregnant with our 4th child. It was wishful
thinking then, but I was interested.) I said yes. Not just yeah, I will give
that a try, but yes I am going to do that and do it well. I downloaded a free
app that would give me a workout plan to follow. A few weeks in I even visited
Fleet Feet and got fitted for real running shoes. They are fabulous and the
most comfortable shoes I own. I am doing this, but I haven’t been able to
explain my dedication to my new sport until recently. Running is so outside of
what is comfortable for me. It has become something that I have to rely on God
for completely. I am learning how to trust him through running. He is teaching me
how to persevere in the face of difficult circumstances. He is teaching me to
push through when it hurts and everything in me says just quit. This is bigger
than running a time or a distance or a pace. This is me learning how to let God
be the Lord of my life. It’s scary, but I am in love with him. I get nervous
before each workout, but I also don’t want to miss it because God shows up during
every workout. We talk as I run. My flesh gets in the way sometimes. Satan
tries to convince me to give up. I have run for 1 hour and 27 minutes (8.67
miles) without stopping. I have run up a
small mountain 4 times in the last couple weeks in order to be better prepared
for the hills I will face in Tulsa. I love the feeling of sweat dripping off
every inch of my body because I am being refined and cleansed. I love the sense
of accomplishment after each milestone because it means I did something else
that I never thought I could do and that means God is bigger than my doubt and
fear.
Ironically (not really), the theme God put
on my heart for the elementary kids this year is Spiritual Fitness. Their key
verse is 1 Corinthians 9:25 “All who take part in the games train hard. They do
it to get a crown that will not last. But we do it to get a crown that will
last forever.” We
define Spiritual Fitness as training our mind, body, and spirit every day to
become a healthy part of God’s mission.
Mind: have
knowledge of God
Body: be
physically active to serve God
Spirit: grow
in relationship with God
Remember that God’s mission is to
make His name great so that people from every nation, tribe and tongue will
know and worship Him.
He is
teaching me how to be spiritual fit and train for a crown that will last for
eternity. I don’t get to ask it of our children and not live it myself. So…one
of the biggest tests of my faith is coming on October 25. I am running the
Tulsa 15K that morning. I am so nervous, but I know God will be with me. It
feels so surreal, but I know he is writing my story through this experience. I
know this is preparing me for the next big thing in my life that I will have to
trust him in. Stepping up to that starting line will be a huge leap of faith,
but there is no doubt that is right where I am supposed to be that day.
