Where has the time gone? It has been quite a while since my last post and a lifetime of things have happened to keep me on the go. Most notably our fourth child was born - Chloe Lucille Washington. She arrived at 3:17 p.m. on July 9. She was 21 3/4 inches long and weighed 8lb 6oz. She has a full head of black hair that curls when it is wet. She looks much like her siblings did when they were born, but she is unique with all that hair.
As I prepared myself for this final delivery, I was reminded of a verse that was pretty important to me when our third child, Lydia, was born. Psalm 28:7 says "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped." A friend texted this to me when labor was getting pretty intense and I remember repeating "The Lord is my strength and my shield" over and over through contractions. I thought it would be a great verse to memorize and meditated on as I prepared to do what I thought I would never have to do again. God proved himself faithful, as always, as we welcomed Chloe into the "outside" world.
Many friends and family specifically mentioned praying for a short labor. An easy labor. A quick delivery. I even asked God if I could catch a break since this was my fourth time delivering a baby without an epidural. I appreciated the prayers of course, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. After all, every pregnancy is different and the labor and delivery is no exception. Some would call that being a realist. On the other hand, maybe I didn't trust God with my whole heart. Maybe my faith was lacking. Either way, I kept praying Psalm 28:7 and asked the Facebook world to pray it too.
I am a lot embarrassed to say, it didn't really register with me how much God had answered our specific prayers for a quick, easy delivery until about a week after we came home from the hospital. We arrived at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. for a scheduled induction. I was ready to meet our third daughter and my doctor was willing to induce me at 39 weeks so I didn't hesitate when she offered. I labored for about 7 hours with little more than moderate discomfort after my nurse started the pitocin in my IV. I was already about 3cm dilated when we arrived and every 2 hours I dilated another centimeter. I chatted with Tyrone. I updated my Facebook status. I took a couple naps. I ate ice chips. I got up to go to the bathroom. I visited with my nurse and showed her a picture of our 3 children. My hope was that we would have a baby by dinner time.
A little after 2:00 I got out of bed for another short walk to the bathroom and decided to stand for a while. I even stood through some contractions. That was kind of cool because I had never tried that with any of my other deliveries. That was just what I needed to really get things moving apparently. I went from moderate discomfort to "game face" very quickly. My next visit with my nurse was more serious. I told her I wasn't up for anymore chit chat. I had my headphones on and I was getting focused. Tyrone was a little more tuned in to me. All of a sudden contraction were coming hard and one after another. I lost my focus. I forgot my verse. I was remembering how I never wanted to do this again. I was giving in to my flesh and lost sight of "The Lord is my strength and my shield". My heart was not trusting in him. Tyrone tried to get me to refocus. He even mentioned that I needed to think about my verse. My nurse said I was almost there, but when she said I was only at 7cm, I gave up. I didn't think I could handled another hour (or more is what was running through my mind) of contractions like these. I remember crying out "God please help me." a couple of times. All of a sudden 4 nurses rushed into my room and started preparing for the delivery. They worked fast! They new something I didn't know. It had been about 3 minutes since my nurse left the room to call my doctor to report my request for an epidural (if time would allow). One of the four nurse checked again and I was at 10cm and she said it was time to have this baby. My doctor had to run upstairs from clinic on the first floor. I couldn't believe it. In hindsight, it was like God reached down and rescued me. In those 3 minutes, he answered all the prayers for an easy, short delivery. I didn't see it right then.
After a handful of pushes - Tyrone and I disagree on the exact number - Chloe was born. Just like that it was over, and the 6th member of our family was laying on my chest using her little lungs for the first time. Tyrone cut the cord and we talked to her. I was rubbing her back and kissing her sticky little head. (A few minutes later she peed all over me which lightened the mood in the room.) We finally and officially chose her middle name - Lucille - after my Great-Aunt after a nurse took her footprints. Jeremiah, Maiesha, and Lydia arrived a couple hours later to meet their new baby sister.
It registered for the first time how God had really come through while I was talking to my mentor in our living room a week later. She asked how it went and I told her an abbreviated version of the story. She looked at me with a smile and said "Isn't God good." Then it all hit me like a ton of bricks. Yes...yes he is good...and how did I miss that in the moments when it was happening? I have now had more time to reflect on that day and pray about it. I have had the opportunity to share the story and acknowledge God's faithfulness. I have been able to rejoice and give thanks for His goodness.
What is the lesson here? Do I beat myself up for giving up when things seemed beyond what I could endure? No, I think I need to see that God is faithful even when I lose faith. God is with me even when I take my eyes off of him. God rescues me when I cry out to him. God gives me exactly what I need according to his good purpose.
Isn't God good!
