I prefer a January birthday

One year ago tomorrow - January 31 - our sweet baby Lydia Amaru was born. She is the only one of our three children that came into to world with a "story" surrounding her birth proving once again that the greatest plan can fall apart completely.

On January 28 I went in for my 38 week doctor visit. My body was progressing toward labor, but we had scheduled an induction for February 10 one day after my due date because that would fit our schedule the best. (Go ahead and laugh quietly.) On January 30 we went to church and the sermon was from Acts and it included Acts 16:14 "One of those listening was a woman from the city of Thyatira named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth. She was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul’s message." This verse is where we found the name Lydia just 6 weeks earlier.

After church I decided to go pick up some ingredients to make cookies for the basketball and volleyball offices. I did this from time to time to bring a little cheer to friends in the athletic department. After baking about 6 dozen cookies, my kitchen was a mess! I looked at the pile of dishes in and around the sink and want to run to bed. However, something inside me said, "Get the dishes done just in case something comes up tomorrow." I did those dishes and went to bed feeling like I had accomplished a great feat since I REALLY don't like washing dishes.

Monday, January 31 started off like a normal Monday in the Washington household. Tyrone took Jeremiah to school then went to work. He let me know later that morning he had left his cell phone at home. Maiesha and I left around 10:00, as usual, for campus. My Monday class met at 11:00 so we had plenty of time to deliver our cookies and visit on the way to class. Tyrone picked Maiesha up after his class right before mine began. After I was finished, I picked her up from him, again as usual, and we stopped back in the basketball office to say hello before walking home.

As we walked down the hallway to exit the building, I felt something that prompted me to visit the bathroom. I thought to myself, "Did my water just break?", but I dismissed it and told Maiesha we should get home for lunch. When we were nearly home (it was a 5-8 minute walk) the same "disturbance" happened again. I called Tyrone in his office to catch him, before he went to guest lecture in a classroom I did not know the location of, to let him know what I thought could be going on. He was very nonchalant about it so I said I would keep him posted. I proceeded to fix lunch for Maiesha and myself and we ate. I had to visit the bathroom more frequently now and I was pretty sure my water did in fact break and I would need to speak to a medical person. Unfortunately my doctor's office closes from 12-1 each day for lunch so I would have to wait a few more minutes.

I started packing a bag and then made contact with a nurse at the doctor's office. She recommended I get to the hospital soon and that driving myself was not a good idea. Then I called Jeremiah's elementary school to let them know of my predicament and that I would most likely have to get him from school a little early. The administrative assistant told me I would have to come into the school to get him. I laughed considering I was not able to freely walk around the house an longer let alone walk into an elementary school. I called a good friend Rebekah and asked how quickly she could get to my house. She asked how soon I needed her to be there and I said, "Oh, about 5 minutes ago." She told me she would be there and I told her Maiesha and I would be in the van and she could drive. Poor Rebekah sprinted the 1/4 mile to our house, jumped in the driver's seat, and we left for Jeremiah's school.

As we parked in front of Jeremiah's school, Rebekah realized she forgot her wallet and I was not fit to walk. She took my license into the school as though that would somehow be proof of who she was. Fortunately, Jeremiah ran to hug her when he arrived in the office so the school felt comfortable allow him to leave with her. They both ran out to the van and off we drove to the hospital which was only about 8 minutes away. I arrived in the Labor/Delivery ward at 2:03 alone while Rebekah parked the van and brought the kids upstairs to hangout with me.

While all of that was going on, Darla and Pam, the basketball and Exercise Science Administrative Assistants respectively, both wonderful friends and great ladies, were on a mission to find Tyrone back on campus and get him to the hospital. They all arrived in my delivery room by 3:00 after I was officially checked in and it was confirmed that my water was, in fact, broken.

Lydia was born at 9:46p.m. after a short labor and even shorter delivery. She was 6lb 12oz and 20 inches long. She was perfect and was successful in thwarting our plans of a February 10 induction.

I am so grateful for all the support we recieved from our dear friends that day. It was one of those "fly by the seat of your pants" days, but nothing was left undone because of the love and caring of friends. Our children were taken care of and were able to sleep in their own beds that night. The out pouring of gifts, visitors, meals, and helping hands was truely a testament to God's provision in our lives.

I want to know already

I really miss coaching and athletics. I started as a volunteer track & field offical this month. It is fun to be around track & field again (for a few weekends between January and May), at both the high school and collegiate level, but it makes me question whether I will ever coach again. I struggle with patience and waiting on God's timing. I want him to show me the when and where, and if I won't coach again, I just want to know so I can get over it. Not very realistic I know. I realize God doesn't have the "Have it your Way" slogan like Burger King.

One of my basketball players from Evansville called a couple nights ago. She had a quick question and commented how she enjoyed seeing our pictures on Facebook. It was awesome to see her name pop up on the caller id and hear her voice. I was texting today with another former athlete who is making some incredible plans for a career in minstry after college. I have been so very reminded of the life I had. I loved coaching and being around young, talented kids. I loved to motivate them to pursue excellence in their sport and in life. It was a dream come true to be a strength & conditioning coach at the division 1 college level.

Through life as a coach I learned some valuable skills. I learned how to be bold and share my faith and my family with my athletes. I learned how to encourage and inspire others to be more than they think they can be. I learned how to hold others and myself accountable and to confront fear. I learned how to win and how to compete even when losing. I learned how to pursue excellence through commitment, courage, strength, and integrity.

God has other plans for me right now so after 8 years of coaching, one at the collegiate level, God moved us to Arkansas. Now I get myself in trouble for saying I am "just" a wife and mom. It's not that my job is not important. It's just that I was doing some other things that I really loved and now I am doing less. The good thing is I am doing more for my family. I have time to keep our new house clean. I have time to sit and read books with the kids or by myself. I can really invest a lot of uninterrupted time with the Washingtons.

I am using all those skills I learned as a coach even now as "just" a wife and mom. I am teaching them to my children. I am encouraging my husband in his new job. I am being bold to reach out to other moms like me who need friendship and adult conversation. I continue to develop my own skills as I learn to trust God daily for my career - however that looks as the years go by.

I believe I will coach again someday. It's hard to wait, but my hope is in the Lord! Isaiah 40:31 says it best. "...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Please eat your asparagus

After a major blow up tonight, I had a break through in parenting. I have been frustrated with Jeremiah because he has been lying and being deceptive. It started as little "just joking" moments, embellishing stories, and the usual trying to get Maiesha in trouble. We have tried a few disciplinary things and the repeated "Lying is wrong", but nothing seems to be sinking in.

I made a nice basic dinner tonight. We had baked pork chops with a raspberry chipotle sauce, sweet potatoes, asparagus and rolls. I am the only one who actually likes asparagus. Tyrone tolerates it since I don't make it very often and the kids had to "choke down" a small portion. They discovered that dipping it in ketchup made it go down easier. (Everything tastes better with ketchup.) I was doing dishes when Maiesha called out, "Mom, look at my plate." She was finished with all but one bite of sweet potatoes. The Jeremiah said, "Mom, look at my plate." His asparagus was gone and he had a couple bites of pork and potatoes left. I applauded their efforts and asked them to finish up.

As I was finishing the dishes, Jeremiah offered to help clean stuff up off the floor. This was a little strange to me, but I thought he was referring to the crackers and cereal that Lydia had dropped, and I have asked them to help with that before so I kept doing dishes. I soon discovered that about half of his asparagus was on the floor under his chair. He had "accidentally" dropped it. He had to clean up the asparagus and eat the whole pieces, go brush his teeth, and get straight in bed. I was livid, and the tone and volume of my voice made him well aware of my displeasure. While he cleaned I explained yet again how he had lied and that that is wrong and that he tried to cover up his lie by offering to help clean it up before I could see it. This whole episode further frustrated me as to how I can help him understand that lying is wrong.

After he crawled into bed, something clicked in my head (the Holy Spirit perhaps) and I grabbed my Bible from my night stand and went in to talk with Jeremiah. We talked about the 10 commandments. We read through them together and tried to explain in first grade terms what each one meant. I explained that these are rules that God wants us to follow. When we break the rules we need to ask for forgiveness. Several commandments easily related to different kinds of lies and he seemed to understand. Then all of a sudden it clicked and his eyes welled up with tears. He knew he didn't want to disobey God. Reading it for himself in the Bible was a big deal. I told him he needed to pray and ask God for forgiveness. He asked me why we had never done this before. Ouch! All I could say was we are starting now and we will keep doing it. God was teaching me a few things through this conversation too.

Jeremiah was afraid to pray and he began to cry more. Before we began to pray he said, "But God always forgives us." As tears welled up in my eyes, I told him that is right, but God still wants us to pray and ask for forgiveness. I reminded him God loves him very much and I love him too. We finished with a big, long hug and a few more tears and I love yous.

What a moment to share with my son. I felt like I got it right. To have a dilemma and find the answer in God's Word. How basic and profound is that. What better place to find the right direction. Now we can talk more about God's commandments as we continue to work through the importance of being honest. Jeremiah's eyes got so big when I told him God cannot tell a lie. It is impossible because God is perfect. Then I reminded him of the first Bible verse he ever memorized. John 17:17 "Your Word is truth." What a relief!

Born Again

On December 11, 2004 my niece Makayla was born. I remember holding her when she was just a couple weeks old. She was so precious. She was the first grandchild and received all of our attention that first Christmas. Last night I received a text message at 8:57pm to let me know that she was born again into the kingdom of God. Like I have done for my own children, I have been praying that as soon as she understands God's gift of salvation she would accept that gift and become my sister in Christ. As sweet as she was as a baby, this "rebirth" is so much sweeter. She has found eternal life in Jesus Christ. Her name is written in the Book of Life. My step-nephew Adryan prayed to receive Christ as well last night.  Little sister Gretchen was listening and I will continue to pray for her. My heart is overflowing this morning as I think about God's goodness and faithfulness.

Adryan has been in our family for a little over a year. Makayla turned 7 years old in December. In either case, that is a long time to pray for something not knowing when God will answer. Oh how it was worth the wait. Our family is rejoicing today. I know heaven is rejoicing too.

Waiting is so hard for me. It doesn't matter what I am waiting for either, it is always difficult. I am learning to allow the Spirit to work in me so PATIENCE will flow freely and I will trust God's perfect timing.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "¹⁶ Rejoice always; ¹⁷ pray without ceasing; ¹⁸ in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." So I must keep going in the waiting. I must keep praying. I must celebrate and rest in who God is and his promises. As I look back over my adults life, I can see how God has answered my prayers. Sometimes I get an answer the same day. Some of them I had to pray for years. Some I continue to pray because I am still waiting for His answer.

When we went to Jeremiah's room to say prayers and get he and Maiesha to bed, I said, "Guess who will be in heaven with you. Someone prayed to ask Jesus into their hearts tonight." They were excited and began to guess. I told them it was their cousins Makayla and Adryan and they jumped up and down on the bed rejoicing for them.

Thank you, God, for the gift of our children. Thank you that you have adopted them into your family. Help me to be the mother and aunt you have designed me to be - the mother and aunt they each need. Help me to allow your Spirit full access so you can continue to complete your good work in me. Guide these young members of your kingdom that they will walk with you all their days. Help them to turn away from temptation and cling to you in all things. Give each of them a passion for pursuing an intimate relationship with you. In the name of Jesus, allow them to encounter you and your unconditional love every day of their lives. Amen

Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. ¹⁴ Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:13-14

When you find yourself in a stinky situation

I just finished reading Max Lucado's book "God's Story, Your Story" this week. I have read many of his books and always find a lot of practical advice about living out my faith. In chapter 7 - Power Moves In - he talkes about the Holy Spirit living and active in us. We have to make a conscious decision to allow the Spirit to be in control. He writes,

"Here is something that helps me stay in step with the Spirit. We know that the "fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23 NASB). God's Spirit creates and distributes these characteristics. They are indicators of my spiritual dashboard. So whenever I sense them, I know I am walking in the Spirit. Whenever I lack them, I know I am out of step with the Spirit."

I decided to put this logic to the test this week. It is amazing how incredible it has been in 2 days to deliberately think about walking in the Spirit. It most certainly has positively impacted the decisions I make. It is so freeing! I have been making notes of instances where I have displayed or felt the Spirit working in me. Sometimes it is easy and sometimes my flesh is trying to take back control.

I had my first test of patience with Jeremiah. He is still recovering from the stomach flu so he has been in the bathroom "stinkin' it up" a lot. He started calling for me urgently. I arrived to him holding the deodorizer bottle missing the top. He pointed to the toilet and said it fell off while he was trying to spray it. I wanted to explode - he had not flushed yet. The Spirit lead me to be PATIENT with him and help him out of the situation. I was able to calmly explain that it would be best to "spray" after he was all finished using the bathroom so that the toilet lid is closed. It quickly became a funny story rather than a bad parenting moment.

I was checking my email (my retreat for a few minutes periodically throughout the day) when Jeremiah wanted to show me his statue of liberty pose. The Spirit lead me to turn away from the computer screen for a few moments to find JOY in his silliness. He had made a torch out of magnet blocks and was holding a book in the other arm. He stood tall and statuesque trying not to laugh. It was a great moment to try and make him laugh and just enjoy my child's creativity. Maiesha did something similar later in the day when she came out of her room dressed like Daphne from Scooby-Doo. They are so fun and creative.

I had a test of SELF-CONTROL this morning with Tyrone. We drive one vehicle - a minivan - intentionally to save money. Today he needed me to pick him up and drive him to a meeting off campus. I arrived on time to pick him up at 9:30 for the 9:45 meeting. He said he would be waiting, but he got caught up and arrived at the van about 6 minutes late. My flesh wanted to inform him he was late, again, and how I had been waiting. (Being late is a major pet peeve of mine.) My usual punctuality lecture was on the tip of my tongue. I could feel my flesh wrestling with the Spirit about what to say when he got into the van. Only by the power of the Spirit was I able to keep my mouth shut and swallow those destructive words. We had a nice conversation on the way to his meeting and we left him with encouraging words rather than disrespect and unnecessary ridicule.

"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."
2 Samuel 22:25 MSG

I love this verse, but can't take credit for finding it myself. Check out the book "God's Story, Your Story" by Max Lucado.

Listen to me

Listening has been a topic of interest at our house lately. I want to become a better listener. For my children, listening can let them know that they are important and I care. For Tyrone, listening can let him know I support him at work, as head of our household and a my partner in life. However, I like to be heard too. I find myself almost constantly saying things like...

"Listen to me."
"Why don't you listen to me?"
"You never listen to me."
"I have told you 3 times. LISTEN!"
"Do you have cottonballs in your ears?"
"Do you heard the words that are coming out of my mouth?"
"Am I talking to myself?"
"I told you that would hurt. If you would have listened..."

Most of the time I hear a whisper in my ear right after I fuss at someone for not listening. The whisper says the statement right back to me. I believe it is the Holy Spirit reminding me that God is talking to me and I fail to listen too. I didn't know how much marriage and parenting would parallel my relationship with God. I guess that makes sense since he is the author of relationships.

I was hanging out with the kids in our bedroom last night. They love doing that because entrance into our bedroom is by invitation only. I decided to read the Bible with them. It's something we haven't done for a while and need to start doing regularly especially since Jeremiah is reading now. We bopped around to a few familiar verses then ended up in Genesis reading the story of Noah and the Flood. What an incredible story of God's faithfulness and eternal promise. And way to go Noah for being obedient! Obedient to build the ark in spite of criticism from onlookers. Obedient to wait on God through the rain inspite of curiosity and wanting to bring others on the boat to "save them". Obedient to wait for God's instruction before exiting the ark. I think it would have been a bit challenging to live on a boat with animals and no windows for 6 months.

How can I be obedient if I don't listen to God? How can I demonstrate my love for God if I am not obedient to him? John 14:15 says "If you love me, you will keep My commandments." Ouch! So I can't just say I love you God and go about the rest of my day having checked him off my "to do" list. It's more like a back and forth conversation as I go from task to task. More listening on my part than talking so I can hear God's instructions. More reading his word and meditating on it so he can direct my decisions.

James 1:22-25 "²² Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. ²³ Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror ²⁴ and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. ²⁵ But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

Like I hope to get from my family, God wants me to listen to him not only so I can hear his voice, but so I can be obedient to him and do as he commands. He wants to have an intimate relationship with me to show his love and protect me from harm. Listening takes a lot of effort and it takes discipline. It is easier said than done most times, but so very worth it when I show God how much I love him by being obedient.

Maiesha fell a couple nights ago and hit her head on the hardwood floor. She was trying to stand on a ball. Of course, it rolled out from under her and she hit the floor hard. She was doing something we have told her not to do a number of times. We scooped her up and checked for a concussion. We comforted her and put a pack of ice on her head. We wiped her tears and loved her inspite of her bad choice.

Thank you God for not just wagging your finger at me and saying "I told you so." Thank you for loving me unconditionally and sending Jesus to save me.

My Help Comes from the Lord

Happy New Year! Last Saturday we went to my brother's church while we were in Ohio visiting. It was New Year's Eve and it was a celebration service, but also a service about new beginnings. Letting go of the past and pressing on to what God has for each of us in 2012. I was wrestling with God about that day. I have come to appreciate those days when I wrestle with him because I know he is teaching me something. It is difficult and often painful, but also comforting that I can come to him with anything.

Along with a lot of great scripture from the pastors of the church, God gave me a song that night to remind me of his goodness and faithfulness. Check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb4VvNq8WEM  It comes from Psalm 121.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

I need not fear anything. The song says "Trouble surrounds me. Caos abounding. My soul will rest in You." Each morning I rise trouble it waiting for me through satan's attacks and my own flesh. Caos begins in the kitchen when the kids don't eat breakfast fast enough and we get out of the house late. How will I respond though? Will I rest and trust that "God's got this" or will I thrive in the caos and allow it to rule my day. No! I am claiming God's help today for all of 2012 that whatever comes my way "My help comes from the Lord."

Lydia took her first steps two days ago. It was so exciting. We celebrated like we had won the lottery. What an incredible milestone in a child's life. Learing to walk requires a lot of help. There is a lot of falling and stumbling. Each time she falls she lifts her eyes up to find us and reaches out for our hand to help her up again. At some point she gives up because it is easier to crawl. She doesn't know yet that walking will get her where she needs to go. I hope we can teach all of our kids to lift their eyes up and reach for the outstretched arms of Jesus each time they stumble and fall no matter how big or small the fall may be. Not by our words, but by our response to Him, and just when we think it would be easier to crawl, we will see the faithfulness and love of our Savior there to pull us up again.

I was reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan last night. In chapter 3 he writes, "His being is utterly complete and perfect, apart from humanity. He  doesn't need me or you. Yet He wants us, chooses us, even considers us His inheritance (Eph 1:18). The greatest knowledge we can ever have is knowing God treasures us...The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time."

Why God - why do I think I can do this without YOU? Thank you for loving me beyond anything I can comprehend, but giving me examples and evidence of your love every moment. You created me to need you. I confess I need you, I need you most when I don't think I need you at all. I surrender my life to you again. Let your kingdom come and your will be done in me and through me today. Mold me, shape me, chisel away what is not from you. In the mighty, powerful, compassionate name of Jesus I pray, Amen.