Give me your tired...

We took Jeremiah into the hospital for an outpatient surgery this week. We believed it to be routine, but as a parent you can’t help but feel a little anxiety as you entrust your child to the care of strangers. Everyone was super helpful and kind so we had a great experience and his surgery went well. We especially enjoyed Nurse Carrie. She was a wiz with the IV. Another nurse came into our room first and we assumed she would be the one the anesthesiologist spoke of who would put in Jeremiah’s IV. She quickly let us know that she had called in Nurse Carrie because she is the best with IVs. She used to work with infants so whenever a child needs an IV, she is the one you want. Nurse Carrie had a great bedside manner and was so sweet to him every step of the way. She had that IV in and secure in no time and worked to calm him through it all. After he returned to his room from surgery and recovery, Nurse Carrie came back to tend to him until he was discharged. She told him how handsome he was and how she can’t wait to hear about his budding basketball career as he gets older. She was such an encourager.

Once Nurse Carrie heard Tyrone talking about his work in science at the University, as he explained anesthetizing mice to Jeremiah, she started to tell us all about her son. She talked about immigrating to the US from the Philippines when he was a young boy. He began his American education in the 3^rd grade knowing very little English. She was worried about how he would do in school, but after the first month of sitting in his class as his translator, he took off and began to excel. He graduated 13^th in his high school class out of 250. He knew from the time he was young he wanted to pursue civil engineering. He attended the University of Arkansas and was offered a job with the department of transportation before he graduated. She worked an extra job to make sure he didn’t have to worry about working while he was in college.  She talked about his girlfriend and was hopeful of an engagement soon. She spoke so proudly of her son. She smiled as she described the closeness of their relationship and how he hugs and kisses her even as an adult. She was thankful to God for his blessing and provision. She giggled as she talked about how much her son loves her homemade lasagna and asked her to make some on her visit to his new house in Illinois where he recently moved. As she told her story, she continued to open packages of crackers for Jeremiah and refill his cup of ice with red Powerade. I can’t help but think that Jeremiah reminded of her of her son when he was young.

I have been learning to value people. I value people not for how hard they work or how smart they are although those are wonderful attributes. I value people because they bare the image of an Almighty Creator and they bring richness, understanding and blessing to our world. Sometimes valuing people means giving them space to live and learn at their own pace, encouraging them as opportunities arise. While other times valuing people means challenging them and letting them challenge you. Valuing people always includes being compassionate and kind, seeking first to understand rather than insisting your opinion be heard.

As a citizen of the United States of America, unless you are descended from American slavery or a Native American (stories for another post), you probably have a story similar to Nurse Carrie’s somewhere in your family’s history. A brave young man, woman or family made a decision to board a boat or a plane and come to this country for an opportunity to create something, to build a legacy for themselves and their children. One of the most beautiful things about our country is the depth and diversity of people’s stories. People have been coming here from all over the planet for centuries and have each contributed to making this place, albeit imperfect, special and unlike any other country in the world. It would be a sad day if ever a family like Nurse Carrie’s was barred from immigrating to the United States because they didn’t measure up to some list of prerequisites designed to filter who is “worthy” of being a part of this nation.

We have forgotten how to love

In April I made a decision to join the Impact Movement. The Impact Movement is a campus ministry that reaches out to black students to point them toward Jesus and disciple them. You may be curious about why I, a white woman, could be effective in a ministry that seeks to minister to and mobilize black people. It seems a very daunting task, I know! Apparently in Impact’s 25-year history, I am the first white person to join its staff.

I don’t know many of the Impact students yet, but we have a GroupMe going where I introduced myself with a picture of my family and a few details about us back in May. Some of them got to meet me in person at the end of the semester. My GroupMe introduction got a few likes and then time marched on, but last week one of the students asked, “Hey, are you still trying to get to know people?”

I replied, “Hello, @abraham I sure am! Do you have something in mind?”

He proceeded to ask me how much do I love black people. He saw that my husband is black, but he wanted to know if I was comfortable around black people and what kind of experience I had.

I was taken aback by his direct questions (and could have become offended and angry probably), but I was certain that he was not the only one with those questions. He was the one who decided to take the first bold step. I answered him honestly and directly with a very long, heartfelt response. I realize I have to build trust in these students like no other relationships in my life as I allow God to use me in cross cultural ministry.

Then he said, “That sounds good if this were an interview, but I want to know the real you.”

You see, I think what he really wanted to know was could he trust me. He wanted to know that I would be willing to empathize with his life. He wanted to know that I was willing to love him and his peers as they are. He was challenging me to be a leader who could actually lead in a culture that is not my own.

After an extensive and very honest conversation he said, “That’s what I like to hear MRS. @lynette Washington. We had finally broken through the surface and he was willing to take a step toward trusting me. From that moment forward, our conversation became more personal. We talked about our families, where we are from and who we want to be when we grow up. It was beautiful!

In 1 Corinthians 12 Paul uses the analogy of the human body to describe the Church – the people who have made a decision to receive Jesus as their Savior in order that they may be reconciled to God, not by their own imperfect attempts at being “good enough” but by the perfect sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Paul describes unity through diversity. He describes one body with many parts – each part just as valuable and critical as another to bring complete life to the body. We need not compare our role as “a toe” to another’s role as “an eye” wishing we could be another part or expecting the other parts to work like our own. If we were all the same the body would not be able to function. If we did not submit to the head of the body – Jesus Christ – we fail to be whole and capable of our intended purpose.

 Chapter 12 finishes with “And now I will show you the most excellent way.”

Chapter 13 opens with “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NIV

The next few verses are all too familiar to most of us who have been married in the Christian faith.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV

I believe we have sold these verses short. We have attempted to box them into a context where they do not fit. This vivid description of love does not only apply in marriage, it is about being the body, the Church, the bride of Christ. It is about showing love to each other AND to a world that desperately wants to be loved. A world of people who want to belong and be known. We have forgotten how to love!

 I was able to show love to Abraham. I was willing to put his need ahead of my own for the sake of something big than both of us. Allowing Abraham the opportunity to be totally honest was important to him. It built a bridge between us so we can start the journey of walking toward each other instead of building a wall that will divide us.

Paul wraps up chapter 13 with “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (v.13) God is love. He defines it and he displays it perfectly. It is our job as believers to share him – his love – with everyone we meet. I am excited to be a part of the Impact Movement. It has meant so much to my personal faith journey since my first experience with it in Atlanta, GA nearly 20 years ago. It changed my life to be immersed in a culture not my own, and in it be able to see God’s love with fresh eyes . My understanding of Him grew as a white girl in a room full of 2,500 black people. I hope the same will be true of this new adventure as I lead with love.

Thoughts on Racial Color Blindness

I wrote the following in June 2017- 3 years ago. It seems important to share it now for my white friends and family who may have questions, fears, and concerns about the current status of racial injustice in the United States. This is so much more important to me now than when I wrote it. I spend 2 1/2 years in graduate school since writing this growing my knowledge and vocabulary to be able to teach my children and have good conversations with anyone. Now I have two teenagers and most days I hesitate to let them go out into the world on their own for fear of what they may face any given day. I invite your questions and comments as long as you lead with love and compassion.

Written June 20, 2017...

What is your favorite color? Mine is most any shade of teal. I love it with white in a chevron pattern. I love in in the ocean’s waves of the Caribbean next to the tan sand. I love it next to red in my daughter’s new outfit. I have a pair of teal high heels that I love to pair with navy blue or orange. I just can’t get enough of it. I didn’t really even notice this color until a few years ago, but now I can’t image my wardrobe or life without it. What if I were color blind and unable to distinguish the infinite array of colors God created for us to enjoy. His creativity is limitless and I am so thankful that I get to experience the richness of color every day.

So how did we ever become convinced that colorblindness related to race and ethnicity was a correct path to follow? I think some people had genuine, good intentions when they (whoever they are) thought colorblindness was a good approach to “fix” racism in the United States. To attempt to look at another person and convince yourself that you do not see the color of their skin is silly. What we most often intend by the noble statement, “I teach my kids to be color blind.” is we don’t judge people’s actions by the color of their skin. Unfortunately, in a country like ours where there has always existed a dominate Caucasian culture within the power structure as well as the history of African-American enslavement and oppression our statement of colorblindness leads us to devalue and dismiss the culture and influence of a beautifully diverse group of people who like ALL people was and is created in the image of God. Just like all the shades of teal that I love so much, God deliberately created every shade of skin to demonstrate who he is and bring glory to his name through the thousands of shades of people he placed on this earth.

You may argue that you are very careful to not judge people by the color of their skin. I think I am careful too, but honestly I do it too, and I am married to a black man. I look at him and see the beauty of his skin color. I see what a gorgeous shade of brown we created in our 4 kids. I am attracted to him, in part because of the color of his skin, but when he says or does something that I don’t like or don’t understand, there are ideas that pop into my head that say “that is how black people are” or “that’s what’s wrong with black people”. Oh my goodness…how is that possible? We have been married for nearly 16 years and known each other for 20 years. How is it possible that these kinds of thoughts run through my head about my partner in life?

Let’s me explain! I have begun to learn about the concept of implicit bias. It is something that exists in us all and it very obviously applies to our discussions about race relations. “Thoughts and feelings are “implicit” if we are unaware of them or mistaken about their nature. We have a bias when, rather than being neutral, we have a preference for (or aversion to) a person or group of people. Thus, we use the term “implicit bias” to describe when we have attitudes towards people or associate stereotypes with them without our conscious knowledge. A fairly commonplace example of this is seen in studies that show that white people will frequently associate criminality with black people without even realizing they’re doing it. (https://perception.org/research/implicit-bias/)

In the book “Good Faith” by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lions they give an example of implicit bias. “Gabe is over six feet tall and pretty broad across the shoulders, but he has probably never been referred to or even thought of as a big scary white dude. But ‘big scary black dude’ just sounds normal. That’s implicit bias.”

This was the description provided in some of the media coverage surrounding the shooting of Terence Crutcher in Tulsa, OK last year. Whatever you think about the topic of police brutality and the shooting of black people, think for a moment about how implicit bias would cause a person to respond differently based on the color of another’s skin.

The “Good Faith” authors go on to explain, “The only remedy for people of good faith is for us to intentionally become aware of our unconscious biases with help of a diverse Christian community.”

“The problem for the church is that many (if not most) Christian communities in the United States are homogenous – that is, not diverse at all. And layered atop the problem of most churches’ ethnic homogeneity is the popular idea that the “good Christian” thing to do is to practice colorblindness – where we ignore differences all together. Out of a sincerely good intention to judge others “not by the color of their skin but the content of their character,” as Martin Luther King Jr. challenged, white people often make an effort to see everyone the same – at least consciously. But colorblindness does not make space for people to appreciate different social narratives and cultural expressions.” (Good Faith, Ch 12)

Our elementary school has the distinction of being a “Leader in Me” school. The principles are adapted for kids from Steven Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. Habit 5 is “Seek first to understand and then to be understood.” This is similar to James 1:19-20 (NLT) where James says, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.” Based on this habit and Biblical command, let’s approach everyone, especially those who are different from us, with a listening ear ready to understand their perspective first. I define listening for my children as a two-part process. You must first hear what the person said and then respond with as appropriate action. If I am attempting to be kind and compassionate, my appropriate action will at the very least be delivered in love. Then whether I agree or disagree I am treating he/she with respect because we are both human beings created in the image of God.

So let’s make a real effort to make margin in our lives and our schedules to welcome people in who look and live differently from ourselves. It may be a bit scary, but I promise it will only serve to enhance your life and grow your knowledge and understand of who God is. And as a follower of Jesus Christ, it is my responsibility to demonstrate God’s love to ALL tribes, nations, ethnicities and languages so his name will be made great and more people will know and worship him. And just like my new favorite color brings joy to my life, the addition of a variety of people will bring so much more.

That's so Stereotypical

On the eve of my 39^th birthday, I chose to reflect on where God has positioned me in the context of faith, race, and American culture. I am learning more and more about how God wants me to give my life away each day for the sake of something far greater than me. After a long chat with a friend on Sunday morning in the hallway at church, she texted me Monday morning to encourage me. She recognized that I am in a potentially lonely place as I stand between different groups of people and attempt to build bridges. Often times the bridges are going to span deep chasms where it has been too dangerous to ever attempt a bridge or ravines where a bridge once existed or was started but was burned by someone who didn’t want the two sides to unite. She was right…being a bridge builder is a lonely business to be in, but I believe that is exactly what God is calling me to be. So today I share some thoughts that were sparked by a brief digital exchange I had with an acquaintance recently that will serve as tools and supplies for one of the bridges I am supposed to build.

Let’s begin with a simple definition. A stereotype is a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing (google search for stereotype definition). A stereotype is a preconceived notion, especially about a group of people. Many stereotypes are racist, sexist, or homophobic. (www.vocabulary.com)

A few weeks ago I shared a picture of my biracial (African-American and Caucasian) children on Facebook with a post that read,

“Racism exist in each of us…even in my house. So what do we do about it? Every time you say “white people are so ____” my children are hurt because you are talking about their mother and them. Every time you think “black people are so ____” my children are hurt because you are talking about their father and them. Every time you let hateful or ignorant ideas “be ok” you are saying racism is ok.  We are created differently to display the diversity of our Creator.”

I received lots of “likes” and “loves” and comments about the post. One person decided to send a private message to ask a very interesting question. It is for dialog like she and I had that I will continue to post thought provoking things in the hopes that we can start bridge-building conversations.

The inquiring person asked what I thought about stereotypes. She wanted to know if I thought “positive” stereotypes would be considered a form of racism acknowledging that even “positive” stereotypes are not always accurate.

So what are some “positive” stereotypes? Black people are good at basketball. All Asian people are geniuses. I can think of a few others that would be considered “harmless” or “just a joke.” White people don’t have any rhythm. Black people love fried chicken. Latinas are all great cooks.

For the record I think all stereotypes are rooted in negativity or indifference toward others. We find it easier to generalize. I think stereotypes are insensitive and can lead us down a path of thinking that's all a group of people is known for. This line of thought could totally apply outside of race, but it seems to be the most obvious there. Is there some truth to stereotypes? Of course, what’s the saying? Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. The problem is what we chose to do with stereotypes once we begin to spend time around different people. Do we hold on to our stereotypical expectation or invest time getting to know someone as the unique individual he or she is. As a parent with my own kids, I see them as very unique individuals even though they can from the same two parents. We work hard not to push them all into one category just because of their shared surname. We can apply the same logic when talking about race. A refusal to apply stereotypes allows us to see the beauty in how God has created people from all over the planet and the infinite creativity he possesses. I think it takes a little more effort to develop relationships with people who are different than us, but then it becomes easier to understand why no one wants to be known by a stereotype.

Allow me to share a story from my husband’s childhood to illustrate my point. Tyrone was a 3rd culture kid. He was born in the US and lived a large part of his childhood in Europe because his Dad was in the Army. They settled back in the US when he was in middle school. When he arrived on the playground at school in Mt. Pleasant, SC there was an expectation from the other kids, black and white, that he would be good at basketball because he was black. Growing up in Europe, basketball was not an option for him so he had never played. He felt embarrassed at the least that he could not do something that he was "supposed" to be able to do. He went on to be a pretty good football player in high school as well as track and wrestling. His greatest accomplishments, however, were being invited to the prestigious wind ensemble (he played trombone) as a freshman and being the first in his family to earn a Ph. D.

 If we let the stereotypes stand, where do all the people end up who are not good at the thing we think they are supposed to be good at? Or worse perhaps, we hold someone to a negative stereotype never allowing them to fulfill their full potential because it doesn’t fit the mold our stereotypes have formed for their group.

This begs the question do I refer to a person who uses stereotypes as racist?

In most cases, absolutely not! Recalling our definition, stereotypes often come from racist ideas, but to begin to label people as racist without careful evaluation will not build bridges but widen the gaps between us. It will also minimize the validity of systemic racism in our country and further distract us from the issues we need to address. I think it is important to identify ideas and processes of thought that come from false notions about race so we can become more empathetic and value one another's life experiences. Let’s fight against the intellectual laziness of stereotypes and give more effort toward loving our neighbor as ourselves. Only when we chose to value one another and our differences can we truly build bridges that will unite.

I want what you want

I want what you want Lord and nothing less!

I found these words tucked inside a beautiful song (“Trust in You” by Lauren Daigle) I have been listening to lately. I have listened to the song over a dozen times, but only just caught this line tonight as I sat on my front porch and the rain began to sprinkle down on me. Oh how I want these words to be true of me. Oh how I want them to be the legacy I leave behind.

So what will it take for these words to be true? I think I will use the old "3 points and a poem" routine to answer that question today so I can attempt to share a few of the thoughts swirling around in my head.

Point 1: I must confess that what God wants for me is actually better than what I want for me. I am a planner and a fixer. I am confident in my ability to make a good decision. I like being in charge and in control. Last fall I was feeling neither of these. I had a lunch meeting set on a Monday and I had a lot to talk about with a dear friend. She is a great encourager and helps me sort through the whirlwind inside my head and heart. As God would have it, she had to cancel that day and I was not happy. I needed someone to talk to so badly, but pretty quickly the Holy Spirit said “You have me and that’s all you need.” So I walked and prayed. It was that day when graduate school came to mind for the first time in a long time. I knew it was time to make a change. I could feel the Spirit saying it is time to make the next move toward the plans I have for you, but I had to be willing to confess that what God wanted me to do was better than what I was currently doing and the plans I had been crafting (all in his name of course).

Point 2: I must acknowledge the fears that rage inside my heart and mind. Oh my goodness, the fear is real. Fear paralyzes a person, but courage liberates a person to become all she was created to be. The next couple weeks that followed that prayer walk were excruciating. The reality of the presidential election of was devastating to our household, but God used it to move me to action. It was a catalyst – a wakeup call - to remember I serve a sovereign God, my hope is in Christ alone, and I was created to change the world. I grieved as though someone had died. I cried more in the month of November than I had the previous 2 years combined. God was uprooting fear that was buried deep in my heart. He was refining me and preparing me for the next leg of my journey with him. I began to see clearly the purpose in “random” conversations and new, unlikely relationships. I learned the value of brutal honesty and having hard conversations. There was peace when I said it was time to quit my job out loud to my pastor. I loved my job as the Director of Children’s Ministry at our church, but it was time to allow someone else the opportunity to serve in that role. Then came the fear of what that actually meant. I had to give up this perceived power and influence I had. I had to give up my paycheck. I had to admit that some else could do the job better than me. I knew it was time to go despite the fear of answering people’s questions about what I was doing next with “I don’t know, but God does.”

The frequency of conversations about graduate school increased between Tyrone and I. I talked to some other professors about my ideas and options. I began to study for the GRE. I remember the night I chose a date and paid for the GRE…it was so surreal. I sat in that test with confidence and walked out with a good score. I applied to the University of Arkansas graduate school and ordered my transcripts from the University of South Carolina. The email came one afternoon with the subject line You Have Been Admitted! Now I have a graduate assistantship which will pay 100% of my tuition and pays a stipend. God is proving time and time again that I have nothing to fear when I follow the path he has marked out for me.

Point 3: I must trust that God, who spoke the universe into existence and knit me together in my mother’s womb, loves me beyond all measure. I can trust a God who loves me. A God who loves me unconditional because of the shed blood of Jesus Christ will not lead me astray even if I can’t see what is next. His fierce love for me is enough to lead me to do what is otherwise impossible. Going back to school seemed impossible, but here I am registered for classes holding my student ID a month before my 39^th birthday. Walking away from a job without a plan was crazy, but I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt it was right and God would provide everything we needed. There is certainty in the midst of uncertainty when it’s God’s hand you are holding.

He has a BIG plan for me. I have believed that for nearly 10 years and I am patiently anticipating the day when I will be able to see the plan complete. I can taste it. I can feel it. I have learned to be content knowing that God does not delay and each day is preparing me for the next. It is more true today than yesterday, and I will continue tomorrow to want what you want Lord and nothing less!

I promised 3 points and a poem so what poem do I pick?

You split the sea so I could walk right through it.

You drown my fears in perfect love.

You rescued me and I will stand and sing.

I am a child of God! Yes I am! I am a child of God!

Not exactly a poem, but profound lyrics from Bethel Music’s “No Longer Slaves (Live)”.

Debt Free Living

“Look kids there’s the ocean.” While it was not their first time to see the ocean, it was the first time to see it in Florida.

“Look kids there’s the ship!” It was magnificent and enormous. The Disney cruise ship was ready to set sail and we were going to be on it.

Three years of hard work, perseverance and obedience had brought us to this place. I don’t know who was more excited – the grown-ups or the kids. As we stood on the escalator and it carried us to the second floor of the Disney terminal, the sound of Disney songs filled the air and at the other end of the terminal was a giant set of Mickey Mouse ears a top the tunnel that would usher us onto the ship. I was overwhelmed with emotion. We were debt free and the reality of a dream come true was sinking in for the first time. It was no coincidence that we were boarding the Disney Dream ship.

So let’s rewind 3 years and remember where this voyage (pun intended) began. I prayed one morning asking God to do a work in our finances. Like most people in America, we were living outside of our means. We didn’t make big frivolous purchases or charge expensive vacations, but we did use credit cards to make “well thought out” decisions and to fill the gap at the end of some months when the bank account ran out too soon. Frugality was my friend and we deliberately made decisions to keep expenses under control. We did NOT, however, create a monthly or annual budget and attempt to actually follow it. It was more like give a little, save a little and spend the rest as it comes in.

The same day I prayed that prayer one of Tyrone’s colleagues walked into his office with a book – “The Total Money Makeover” by Dave Ramsey. It was the answer to my prayer. Tyrone read the entire book that weekend (and has read it several more times since) and we set forth a draft of a monthly budget. It took a few weeks, but on February 1, 2014 we set the plan into motion. We sat down with scissors and our credit cards and cut them all up. We included our children so they could be a part the process too. We set up our $1000 mini emergency fund and immediately an “emergency” happened. Our van broke down and the next month our washing machine needed a repair. I wrote those checks stress free for the first time ever because we had a plan – we were planning ahead so things that were once emergencies became little bumps in the road.

In January 2015 we launched a support raising campaign so that our oldest 2 kids and I could take a mission trip to Africa. Another dream come true for me! I knew without our money makeover; I never would have had the courage to say yes to the trip. After God completely overwhelmed us with the generosity of all of our donors, we decided we needed to up our giving. We went from giving our basic 10% tithe each month to giving 12% to our local church and another 3% to short term and long term missions. God continues to bless our generosity today as he surprises us all the time with little extras and the filling of gaps. And now that we are debt free (except for our mortgage) we have to continue to work the plan, follow our monthly budget, and honor God with all the resources he has given us.

As challenging as it was to become debt free, I believe the true challenge is just beginning. We have big goals – God sized goals. We need to stock a full emergency fund and start saving for college for 4 kids. We need to grow our retirement fund now that the debt is gone. I have resigned from my part time job and will be returning to college this fall to pursue a master’s degree. We are trusting that if this is God’s plan, he will provide the financial resources to make it happen with no debt. This is where faith and reality intersect. Do we believe God will continue to provide as he has done for the last 3 years? Do we believe that he will provide opportunities for fun vacations and little weekend get-ways so we can refresh and build family memories? And even harder, do we trust him with our hearts even if we never set foot on another Disney cruise ship or travels to Africa again?

The key to the whole thing has been obedience. 1 John 5:3-4 NLT says, “Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.” We have freedom through our obedience and faith. We understand more now that his commands are for our good. It isn’t always easy, but the burden is light, especially compared to the burden of debt and disorganized finances. We are overcoming the world by making the deliberate choice to surrender our money to God because it all comes from him anyway. Now as Dave Ramsey says, “we can live like no one else so that we can live and give like no one else.”

Live Fearless

A few weeks ago I took some time to reflect back over 2016. I started with a blank page in my navy blue, leather bound journal. At the top I wrote the word THANKFUL. Thankful was my theme for 2016. It certainly set a ton for my year, but I wasn’t always the best at remembering to be thankful. In my mind, when I sat down to begin my reflection, it was motivated by all the really difficult events our family had experienced in 2016. There was death, illness, car break downs, disobedient children, lack of grant funding, discontentment with my job, and saying good-bye to friends who moved away. Then there’s the social injustices in our country and the world that leave a lump in my throat, a knot in my stomach and cause a lot of restless nights pondering how to “fix it”.

Praise the Lord! He was right there with me when I put my pen to that blank page. After titling the page “The Year 2016” I wrote “started with the word THANKFUL”. What? I was not thinking about being thankful when I sat down. This was going to be a list of my grief and pain in 2016. It was hard, but God lead me to start with THANKFUL. So…the page is not only filled with the list from my first paragraph, but it also contains:

-          Our annual kid-free get away (to Boston in 2016)

-          Trip to Philadelphia for Wesley and Taylor’s wedding

-          Celebrating Taylor’s Olympic debut and gold medal

-          Cash to pay for all the extra car breakdowns and unexpected events

-          GroveU college students

-          Leading All 4 One weekend of service

-          4^th annual Greenhouse Lock-In (record 100 kids attended)

-          My 20-year high school class reunion

-          Former student-athletes coming to visit us

-          Debt free plan coming to completion

-          Mini weekend vacations

-           Awesome camp experiences for the kids

-          New friendships

-          Hard conversations to bring light into dark places

Wow! What an amazing year when you look at that list. As I put both lists under the perspective of THANKFUL I can celebrate it all. The hard stuff helped me trust God’s plan and purpose for my life. The fun stuff helped me relax and rest in His goodness. The completion of some things and newness of others helped me believe more in God’s faithfulness. I am THANKFUL for every single thing I wrote on that page (I ran out of room) because God is working in all of it for my good.

Now comes the enormous task of looking ahead to 2017. What does God have planned for this year and what will my perspective be? Will I have learned from my year of THANKFUL in all things? The answer came on Christmas morning.

I have been running for about 2 ½ years and live most days dressed to exercise. I have a small collection of funky looking running tights. My collection grew by one when I opened a package from Tyrone. It was a new pair of capris-length, Nike running tights. They are purple, grey and black in a zebra striped pattern. Tyrone picked them because he likes how they make my bootie look ;-) God picked them just for me because inside the waist band, which was surprisingly comfortable, were the words “RUN FAST. LIVE FEARLESS.” There it is! Immediately I knew my theme for 2017 was meant to be LIVE FEARLESS. I also intend to run fast (relatively speaking) too. On the foundation of thankfulness in all things I can live a fearless life. In a world that is full of grief and despair, I can live fearlessly because God is with me. In a world plagued by hatred and intolerance, I can lead with love for everyone in my path. In a world full of uncertainty and injustice, I can rest in the Sovereign Creator who never falls asleep on the job. In a world buried in the darkness of sin, I can reflect the light of my Savior Jesus Christ so other see there is hope.

There will be two lists again at the end of 2017. One list of the great things. One list of the bad things. When I get overwhelmed by the bad, I pray for the strength to trust. When I get lulled into the false security of the good, I pray I will awaken quickly to worship.  I hope, and you can pray for me, that I will have LIVED FEARLESS on the foundation of THANKFUL through it all for the glory of God so that people from every age, race, gender and sin will know and worship him.