That's so Stereotypical

On the eve of my 39^th birthday, I chose to reflect on where God has positioned me in the context of faith, race, and American culture. I am learning more and more about how God wants me to give my life away each day for the sake of something far greater than me. After a long chat with a friend on Sunday morning in the hallway at church, she texted me Monday morning to encourage me. She recognized that I am in a potentially lonely place as I stand between different groups of people and attempt to build bridges. Often times the bridges are going to span deep chasms where it has been too dangerous to ever attempt a bridge or ravines where a bridge once existed or was started but was burned by someone who didn’t want the two sides to unite. She was right…being a bridge builder is a lonely business to be in, but I believe that is exactly what God is calling me to be. So today I share some thoughts that were sparked by a brief digital exchange I had with an acquaintance recently that will serve as tools and supplies for one of the bridges I am supposed to build.

Let’s begin with a simple definition. A stereotype is a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing (google search for stereotype definition). A stereotype is a preconceived notion, especially about a group of people. Many stereotypes are racist, sexist, or homophobic. (www.vocabulary.com)

A few weeks ago I shared a picture of my biracial (African-American and Caucasian) children on Facebook with a post that read,

“Racism exist in each of us…even in my house. So what do we do about it? Every time you say “white people are so ____” my children are hurt because you are talking about their mother and them. Every time you think “black people are so ____” my children are hurt because you are talking about their father and them. Every time you let hateful or ignorant ideas “be ok” you are saying racism is ok.  We are created differently to display the diversity of our Creator.”

I received lots of “likes” and “loves” and comments about the post. One person decided to send a private message to ask a very interesting question. It is for dialog like she and I had that I will continue to post thought provoking things in the hopes that we can start bridge-building conversations.

The inquiring person asked what I thought about stereotypes. She wanted to know if I thought “positive” stereotypes would be considered a form of racism acknowledging that even “positive” stereotypes are not always accurate.

So what are some “positive” stereotypes? Black people are good at basketball. All Asian people are geniuses. I can think of a few others that would be considered “harmless” or “just a joke.” White people don’t have any rhythm. Black people love fried chicken. Latinas are all great cooks.

For the record I think all stereotypes are rooted in negativity or indifference toward others. We find it easier to generalize. I think stereotypes are insensitive and can lead us down a path of thinking that's all a group of people is known for. This line of thought could totally apply outside of race, but it seems to be the most obvious there. Is there some truth to stereotypes? Of course, what’s the saying? Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. The problem is what we chose to do with stereotypes once we begin to spend time around different people. Do we hold on to our stereotypical expectation or invest time getting to know someone as the unique individual he or she is. As a parent with my own kids, I see them as very unique individuals even though they can from the same two parents. We work hard not to push them all into one category just because of their shared surname. We can apply the same logic when talking about race. A refusal to apply stereotypes allows us to see the beauty in how God has created people from all over the planet and the infinite creativity he possesses. I think it takes a little more effort to develop relationships with people who are different than us, but then it becomes easier to understand why no one wants to be known by a stereotype.

Allow me to share a story from my husband’s childhood to illustrate my point. Tyrone was a 3rd culture kid. He was born in the US and lived a large part of his childhood in Europe because his Dad was in the Army. They settled back in the US when he was in middle school. When he arrived on the playground at school in Mt. Pleasant, SC there was an expectation from the other kids, black and white, that he would be good at basketball because he was black. Growing up in Europe, basketball was not an option for him so he had never played. He felt embarrassed at the least that he could not do something that he was "supposed" to be able to do. He went on to be a pretty good football player in high school as well as track and wrestling. His greatest accomplishments, however, were being invited to the prestigious wind ensemble (he played trombone) as a freshman and being the first in his family to earn a Ph. D.

 If we let the stereotypes stand, where do all the people end up who are not good at the thing we think they are supposed to be good at? Or worse perhaps, we hold someone to a negative stereotype never allowing them to fulfill their full potential because it doesn’t fit the mold our stereotypes have formed for their group.

This begs the question do I refer to a person who uses stereotypes as racist?

In most cases, absolutely not! Recalling our definition, stereotypes often come from racist ideas, but to begin to label people as racist without careful evaluation will not build bridges but widen the gaps between us. It will also minimize the validity of systemic racism in our country and further distract us from the issues we need to address. I think it is important to identify ideas and processes of thought that come from false notions about race so we can become more empathetic and value one another's life experiences. Let’s fight against the intellectual laziness of stereotypes and give more effort toward loving our neighbor as ourselves. Only when we chose to value one another and our differences can we truly build bridges that will unite.