This student was nothing like me. She was average height. I am 6'1". She was not an athlete. Being an athlete (and now coach) is part of my identity. She was beyond quiet. I can talk to inanimate objects for extended periods of time if left alone. She would rarely make eye contact with anyone. Her posture spoke volumes - shoulders rounded forward, chin down staring at the floor, slow shuffle gate. I try to make eye contact with everyone and I walk tall with my shoulder back and chin up.
Part way through the semester I noticed she had a black eye, but didn't know whether it was my place to say anything. I wasn't very comfortable approaching students yet especially when it seemed she didn't want to be bothered. One assignment all students are asked to complete is a self image survey. If they score above a certain number, it is an indication they have self image issues. I don't recall her exact score, but she was over the "cut-off" so she was one of a dozen or so students I decided to email. I offered a listening ear and gave them the phone number to campus counseling.
She approached me the class period after I sent the email and asked if we could talk. She was already plugged in with campus counseling so she just wanted to talk with me. We spent about 10 minutes talking after class and we decided to meet. At that point in my life, I would not classify myself as a hugger, but something compelled me in those moments to give her a hug. I just felt she really needed a hug from someone who cared. Little did I know how terrified she was and the stories she would share about her life in the months to come.
My family had the opportunity to attend her surprise birthday party at the end of her sophomore year. I believe it was the first birthday party she has ever been given - especially the surprise part. I cried tears of joy as she walked in the front door to a big "SURPRISE" and received hug after hug from almost everyone in the room. She greeted each person with open arms, a smile and happy tears. Pretty amazing for someone who feared hugs and couldn't cry just 18 months earlier when she was in my class. Not to say there isn't a lot of healing to do and that scars are evident, but she is really standing on her own two feet with confidence and strength now. It is definitely an answer to my prayers for her.
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose." As horrible as the first 18 years were for this young lady, God was working out his plan for her life and countless others who will be impacted by her story. I count it a privilege to watch her grow into the person God has created her to be.
One of my all time favorite songs is "My Jesus" by Todd Agnew. He sings about the kind of people Jesus spent time with - people he invested his life in. People who were different than those he was "expected" to spend his time. The last verse reads,
"Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud
I wanna be like my Jesus!"
I can't say for sure, but I believe if God had not brought this student into my class two years ago and I had not been obedient to his prompting, she would be a homeless college dropout or have taken her own life. She wasn't like me. She didn't "fit" in my circle, but God used her to teach me how to be more like Jesus and less like the world.
Check out "My Jesus" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg1bx3oA0eU
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