It is official - after more than 4 years of waiting - Tyrone and I are homeowners again. There was no buyer's remorse yesterday as we signed the paperwork and received the keys to our new house. We believe beyond the shadow of a doubt that God chose this house for us before we ever looked at a map to see how far away Fayetteville, AR would be. It is only a matter of days before we move in and start making it a home.
I really like the movie "Sweet Home Alabama" with Reese Whitherspoon, Patrick Dempsey, and Josh Lucas. I recall a smaller part played by Bob Penny who was "Mr. Buford" the divorce lawyer . He had something so important to share with "Miss Carmichael", but no one would allow him to get near her. They lied to him, threw him out, and man handled him. He was relentless in his effort and finally broke through the resistance just moments before she said her vows to the "wrong guy" to let her know she was still married to her first husband and true love Jake(if I can use a fairy tale term).
I couldn't help but reflect back over the past 4 years in preparation for the closing yesterday a be completely overwhelmed by God's relentlessness in keeping us out of all the wrong houses so we could find the right one. We could have forced the issue or settled so many times which would have caused us to miss out on this house. I remember being so frustrated and angry especially with the last attempt to buy a house here in the spring. I remember praying in those moments too, however, and being completely real with God. He can handle my emotions even if I am out of control. He gave me ultimate peace through it all that we would find the house he had for us.
Just like the little lawyer guy in the movie we can so easily push God away when we are focused on doing what we want to do. What we believe is the right choice or what we think will make us happy. He gets through to us when we finally stop and listen to what he has to say. I am so thankful that Tyrone was level-headed through my emotional roller coaster so that we could hear God's voice and discern his plan for the right roof over our heads.
Tyrone wants to hang a plaque in our house with Joshua 25:15 on it. "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." A most popular verse in many households around the world. Interestingly though, I think the first part of the verse belongs on the plaque too. It reads, "But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land your are living." A strong reminder of all the things I choose to serve each day that fall short of the masterpiece God is creating for me.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
My Jesus
I had the privilege of mentoring one of my students in my second year as an Adjunct Professor at the University of Evansville. It was something that I had always considered in my mind, but once it actually came to be, it didn't look at all like I pictured it.
This student was nothing like me. She was average height. I am 6'1". She was not an athlete. Being an athlete (and now coach) is part of my identity. She was beyond quiet. I can talk to inanimate objects for extended periods of time if left alone. She would rarely make eye contact with anyone. Her posture spoke volumes - shoulders rounded forward, chin down staring at the floor, slow shuffle gate. I try to make eye contact with everyone and I walk tall with my shoulder back and chin up.
Part way through the semester I noticed she had a black eye, but didn't know whether it was my place to say anything. I wasn't very comfortable approaching students yet especially when it seemed she didn't want to be bothered. One assignment all students are asked to complete is a self image survey. If they score above a certain number, it is an indication they have self image issues. I don't recall her exact score, but she was over the "cut-off" so she was one of a dozen or so students I decided to email. I offered a listening ear and gave them the phone number to campus counseling.
This student was nothing like me. She was average height. I am 6'1". She was not an athlete. Being an athlete (and now coach) is part of my identity. She was beyond quiet. I can talk to inanimate objects for extended periods of time if left alone. She would rarely make eye contact with anyone. Her posture spoke volumes - shoulders rounded forward, chin down staring at the floor, slow shuffle gate. I try to make eye contact with everyone and I walk tall with my shoulder back and chin up.
Part way through the semester I noticed she had a black eye, but didn't know whether it was my place to say anything. I wasn't very comfortable approaching students yet especially when it seemed she didn't want to be bothered. One assignment all students are asked to complete is a self image survey. If they score above a certain number, it is an indication they have self image issues. I don't recall her exact score, but she was over the "cut-off" so she was one of a dozen or so students I decided to email. I offered a listening ear and gave them the phone number to campus counseling.
She approached me the class period after I sent the email and asked if we could talk. She was already plugged in with campus counseling so she just wanted to talk with me. We spent about 10 minutes talking after class and we decided to meet. At that point in my life, I would not classify myself as a hugger, but something compelled me in those moments to give her a hug. I just felt she really needed a hug from someone who cared. Little did I know how terrified she was and the stories she would share about her life in the months to come.
My family had the opportunity to attend her surprise birthday party at the end of her sophomore year. I believe it was the first birthday party she has ever been given - especially the surprise part. I cried tears of joy as she walked in the front door to a big "SURPRISE" and received hug after hug from almost everyone in the room. She greeted each person with open arms, a smile and happy tears. Pretty amazing for someone who feared hugs and couldn't cry just 18 months earlier when she was in my class. Not to say there isn't a lot of healing to do and that scars are evident, but she is really standing on her own two feet with confidence and strength now. It is definitely an answer to my prayers for her.
Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose." As horrible as the first 18 years were for this young lady, God was working out his plan for her life and countless others who will be impacted by her story. I count it a privilege to watch her grow into the person God has created her to be.
One of my all time favorite songs is "My Jesus" by Todd Agnew. He sings about the kind of people Jesus spent time with - people he invested his life in. People who were different than those he was "expected" to spend his time. The last verse reads,
"Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud
I wanna be like my Jesus!"
I can't say for sure, but I believe if God had not brought this student into my class two years ago and I had not been obedient to his prompting, she would be a homeless college dropout or have taken her own life. She wasn't like me. She didn't "fit" in my circle, but God used her to teach me how to be more like Jesus and less like the world.
Check out "My Jesus" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fg1bx3oA0eU
Friday, October 21, 2011
Be Careful what You Pray for
I was out walking this morning at a different time than usual. Tyrone left yesterday morning for a conference in Kansas City so I will have been a single parent for about 34 hours by the time he gets home. (That is just long enough to help you stop and appreciate your spouse.) I had today scheduled with nearly back to back to back events so each minute was precious to make sure I made it to each thing on time and prepared. I delivered Jeremiah at school by 7:45 then delivered Maiesha to preschool at 8:15. I knew I had enough time to do a couple things around the house and walk before going back to Maiesha's school to accompany her on the fieldtrip to the fire station. Then we would have enough time to eat lunch and take a short break before heading to Jeremiah's classroom for the fall party. I am the co-homeroom parent and was "in charge" of storytime and the craft. After that we would have a couple hours to relax and get dinner ready before Tyrone arrived home. The final event of the day is to visit our new house.
Now back to the morning walk at an unusual time that I mentioned. I made it out of the house about 9:00 to walk while pushing the stroller and with Buford by my side. I much prefer 6:15a.m. just me and Buford. I had just enought time to walk my normal 30 minute route and make it back to Maiesha's school. I started to pray and one of the first things that came to mind was a praise for how well things were going so far for the day. I specifically remember feeling excited about having this time "to myself" and being thankful for it. Then I asked God to help me remember my joy comes from him not the order I had in my day. My security was not in my smooth sailing, but in Him knowing that he is in complete control even when my order becomes disorder - even when caos strikes and messes up my order.
Not 5 minutes after I finished that part of my prayer with Psalm 139:23-24 the wrench was thrown into my works. In those verses I honed in on "test me and know my anxious thoughts". I thought a little on the test me part and how I am not sure I really wanted God to test me. Well, the wrench was a call from my darling husband to task me with printing (no printer at home right now) and filling out a form that had to be nortorized and sent overnight mail TODAY. I just started to laugh as I listened to him explain.
I guess God decided to test me as I had prayed a few minutes earlier. Was my faith, my joy in Him or in my skills to organize my day? To make a long story short I shortened my walk, made it to the field trip, took care of the paperwork/mailing, had a great time at Jeremiah's fall party and have a genuine smile on my face after it is all done. It was a great day! Psalm 139:23-24 ends with "See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." I know God was leading me through this day.
I know that praying scripture back to God is a powerful thing, but he gave me a practical example today.
Now back to the morning walk at an unusual time that I mentioned. I made it out of the house about 9:00 to walk while pushing the stroller and with Buford by my side. I much prefer 6:15a.m. just me and Buford. I had just enought time to walk my normal 30 minute route and make it back to Maiesha's school. I started to pray and one of the first things that came to mind was a praise for how well things were going so far for the day. I specifically remember feeling excited about having this time "to myself" and being thankful for it. Then I asked God to help me remember my joy comes from him not the order I had in my day. My security was not in my smooth sailing, but in Him knowing that he is in complete control even when my order becomes disorder - even when caos strikes and messes up my order.
Not 5 minutes after I finished that part of my prayer with Psalm 139:23-24 the wrench was thrown into my works. In those verses I honed in on "test me and know my anxious thoughts". I thought a little on the test me part and how I am not sure I really wanted God to test me. Well, the wrench was a call from my darling husband to task me with printing (no printer at home right now) and filling out a form that had to be nortorized and sent overnight mail TODAY. I just started to laugh as I listened to him explain.
I guess God decided to test me as I had prayed a few minutes earlier. Was my faith, my joy in Him or in my skills to organize my day? To make a long story short I shortened my walk, made it to the field trip, took care of the paperwork/mailing, had a great time at Jeremiah's fall party and have a genuine smile on my face after it is all done. It was a great day! Psalm 139:23-24 ends with "See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." I know God was leading me through this day.
I know that praying scripture back to God is a powerful thing, but he gave me a practical example today.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Where will you go when you die?
I watched the movie "My Sister's Keeper" this afternoon. I really enjoyed it - great if you need a good cry. LOL What was more sad than watching a child die from cancer was the conversation she and her younger sister had about "where she was going" after she died. She didn't know, but she hoped she would see her boyfriend who had already died from cancer. The expression on her face lead you to believe she thought it would be better than what she was going through on earth.
Whenever I watch a movie like that I first think about having to say good-bye to one of my children. I don't want to imagine that and my heart goes out to all who have walked that path. As hard as that would be a much worse thought is what it would be like to say good-bye and have no hope about his or her destination.
I am so thankful that both Jeremiah and Maiesha have prayed for salvation and "ask Jesus into their hearts" as we say. On Martin Luther King Jr Day in 2009 Jeremiah prayed while we were eating lunch. It was so sweet to have the opportunity to lead him through the most important prayer he will ever pray. A great weight was lifted from my shoulders that day as I thought about his eternal place in heaven with Jesus.
Another burden was lifted on May 14, 2011 when Maiesha prayed to ask Jesus to be her savior. Jeremiah helped lead Maiesha into her decision. We were reading the Bible story about Jesus ascending into heaven.
I continue to pray for Lydia's salvation in God's perfect time as I have prayed for all my children from the beginning of each pregnancy. It is so wonderful to see then growing in faith and to pray for the Holy Spirit to direct their path each day. God is already using them in mighty ways.
I know when Lydia asks her big brother or big sister where they are going when they die they can say with confidence and certainty it is better than anything they could possibly imagine. They go to live forever with Jesus in heaven.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16
Whenever I watch a movie like that I first think about having to say good-bye to one of my children. I don't want to imagine that and my heart goes out to all who have walked that path. As hard as that would be a much worse thought is what it would be like to say good-bye and have no hope about his or her destination.
I am so thankful that both Jeremiah and Maiesha have prayed for salvation and "ask Jesus into their hearts" as we say. On Martin Luther King Jr Day in 2009 Jeremiah prayed while we were eating lunch. It was so sweet to have the opportunity to lead him through the most important prayer he will ever pray. A great weight was lifted from my shoulders that day as I thought about his eternal place in heaven with Jesus.
Another burden was lifted on May 14, 2011 when Maiesha prayed to ask Jesus to be her savior. Jeremiah helped lead Maiesha into her decision. We were reading the Bible story about Jesus ascending into heaven.
I continue to pray for Lydia's salvation in God's perfect time as I have prayed for all my children from the beginning of each pregnancy. It is so wonderful to see then growing in faith and to pray for the Holy Spirit to direct their path each day. God is already using them in mighty ways.
I know when Lydia asks her big brother or big sister where they are going when they die they can say with confidence and certainty it is better than anything they could possibly imagine. They go to live forever with Jesus in heaven.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16
Monday, October 17, 2011
Victory over Self
We watched the movie "Soul Surfer" last Friday night. What an amazing story! It was very inspiring to see a young girl and her family overcome outrageous circumstances. I highly recommend it. Our world is full of stories about people who have overcome tragedy and heartache. We are quick to applaud them, shed a few tears of compassion and then wipe our brow and think "I sure am glad that didn't happen to me."
I realize I have obstacles to overcome each day - none so profound as the loss of my arm by shark attack. The greatest obstacle I must overcome is myself. I want things my way, in my time. I want my children to obey, sleep all night, and eat dinner without complaining about the vegetables. I want my husband to do things on my terms even though he is the head of our home, put his stuff away, and meet all my needs (never mind if I am meeting his or not). In short I want to control everything! As soon as I get so frustrated I can't see straight, I stop fussing long enough to realize I can only control my own attitude, actions and response. I surrender, yet again, control to God and trust his faithfulness and perfect timing. Until I grab hold again and have to do it all over again.
We were studying Revelations last spring at our church in Evansville. In chapter 2:1-7 Jesus is speaking to the Church in Ephesus telling them "You have forsaken your first love." They need to get back to the basics by repenting and investing the necessary time to rekindle their love relationship with God. Verse 7 says, "...To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God. "
"Overcoming is not victory over others. It is victory over ourselves. It requires intent, effort, and perseverance. (from sermon notes)" I have to overcome my own desires to control my life. I must overcome my attitude toward my circumstances. I must overcome my sinful flesh and allow the Holy Spirit to to lead. So I am praying and meditating on several key verses to give me victory.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."
Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Amen
I realize I have obstacles to overcome each day - none so profound as the loss of my arm by shark attack. The greatest obstacle I must overcome is myself. I want things my way, in my time. I want my children to obey, sleep all night, and eat dinner without complaining about the vegetables. I want my husband to do things on my terms even though he is the head of our home, put his stuff away, and meet all my needs (never mind if I am meeting his or not). In short I want to control everything! As soon as I get so frustrated I can't see straight, I stop fussing long enough to realize I can only control my own attitude, actions and response. I surrender, yet again, control to God and trust his faithfulness and perfect timing. Until I grab hold again and have to do it all over again.
We were studying Revelations last spring at our church in Evansville. In chapter 2:1-7 Jesus is speaking to the Church in Ephesus telling them "You have forsaken your first love." They need to get back to the basics by repenting and investing the necessary time to rekindle their love relationship with God. Verse 7 says, "...To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God. "
"Overcoming is not victory over others. It is victory over ourselves. It requires intent, effort, and perseverance. (from sermon notes)" I have to overcome my own desires to control my life. I must overcome my attitude toward my circumstances. I must overcome my sinful flesh and allow the Holy Spirit to to lead. So I am praying and meditating on several key verses to give me victory.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God."
Psalm 139:23-24 "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Amen
Friday, October 14, 2011
A sequence of events
Have you ever taken a moment to think back over the sequence of events that lead you to the place you are at that moment. I have started to do this more often and it is amazing how the most insignificant (or so it seems) decisions have a profound impact on life.
I am an early morning walker - just Buford and me. It is my prayer time and the only time of day I know my family does not need me. I really value this time. Since we moved to Fayetteville I walk around campus across the street from our house. It became a regular occurrance that I walked past the same woman as I passed behind the track & field stadium. We started to say good morning after a couple passings. It was a little comical to us that we were on the same schedule.
One Sunday morning in September we were visiting Fellowship Bible Church in Rogers (30 min north) and that same woman I walked by in the mornings was standing next to us checking her son into his class while we checked Jeremiah into his. She recognized me first, said hello and we confirmed that we knew one another. She was very kind and helpful in showing us "the ropes" since it was her home chuch. We exchanged phone numbers after the service and she asked if she could pass my number along to some friends in Fayetteville.
The next Friday I received a phone call from another woman who received my number from my "walking friend". She invited our family to her church and also invited me to a Ladies' Tea Party the next day at the church. I went and we have been attending that church since then for about a month.
All of this from my decision to faithfully walk in the mornings. I had been praying that God would direct us to the church he had for us. He knew about my morning walks. He knew about our visits to a church 30 minutes out of town (which btw...an elder at our church in Evansville told us about and we met him in a class we decided to take for 6 weeks after Lydia was born.)
See what I mean...everything we do, every decision we make has a domino effect in our lives. So how incredibly important is it that we stay tuned in to God's will and purpose for our lives!!!!
I am an early morning walker - just Buford and me. It is my prayer time and the only time of day I know my family does not need me. I really value this time. Since we moved to Fayetteville I walk around campus across the street from our house. It became a regular occurrance that I walked past the same woman as I passed behind the track & field stadium. We started to say good morning after a couple passings. It was a little comical to us that we were on the same schedule.
One Sunday morning in September we were visiting Fellowship Bible Church in Rogers (30 min north) and that same woman I walked by in the mornings was standing next to us checking her son into his class while we checked Jeremiah into his. She recognized me first, said hello and we confirmed that we knew one another. She was very kind and helpful in showing us "the ropes" since it was her home chuch. We exchanged phone numbers after the service and she asked if she could pass my number along to some friends in Fayetteville.
The next Friday I received a phone call from another woman who received my number from my "walking friend". She invited our family to her church and also invited me to a Ladies' Tea Party the next day at the church. I went and we have been attending that church since then for about a month.
All of this from my decision to faithfully walk in the mornings. I had been praying that God would direct us to the church he had for us. He knew about my morning walks. He knew about our visits to a church 30 minutes out of town (which btw...an elder at our church in Evansville told us about and we met him in a class we decided to take for 6 weeks after Lydia was born.)
See what I mean...everything we do, every decision we make has a domino effect in our lives. So how incredibly important is it that we stay tuned in to God's will and purpose for our lives!!!!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Basketball is Life! The rest is just details.
As far back as 6th grade I remember basketball being one of the most important things in my life. I had aspirations of playing college basketball even then and there was something in me that knew I would achieve that goal. Late in high school I purchased the shirt "Basketball is Life; The rest is just details." I wore it proudly and that was a huge part of my identity.
Well, I arrive at the University of South Carolina in August 1996 having achieved my goal of playing collegiate basketball. I was on top of the world. By the end of my freshman year I was no longer on the basketball team, but I had switched sports and was a member of the track & field team. So much for basketball being my life.
John 14:6 Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." That sure gives me a totally different perspective on how I should have pursued my athletic career. I am thankful that God has used me as a friend and coach to help young athletes hear that their sport is not life. I am thinking about one young lady in particular who rejected the idea that basketball is life to the point that she didn't necessarily try her best and give all she had to being the best player she could be. I shared with her a different perspective that God was working out in me at the time...
I am created in the image of God for the sole purpose of reflecting His glory all the days of my life. He has given me gifts and talents, strength and weaknesses so that I can be light and salt in this dark world. So no, basketball or anything else for that matter, is not life, but whatever I do am doing I should do it wholeheartedly and obediently so the name of God will be glorified and souls will be won to His kingdom.
As we watched football practice today at Razorback Stadium and followed the kids through the autograph line, I think what an amazing platform athletes have to reach the world for Jesus. What an opportunity I have to connect with student-athletes as a former athlete and coach to show then the truth that was revealed to me.
So they can see that Jesus is life! The rest of just details.
Well, I arrive at the University of South Carolina in August 1996 having achieved my goal of playing collegiate basketball. I was on top of the world. By the end of my freshman year I was no longer on the basketball team, but I had switched sports and was a member of the track & field team. So much for basketball being my life.
John 14:6 Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." That sure gives me a totally different perspective on how I should have pursued my athletic career. I am thankful that God has used me as a friend and coach to help young athletes hear that their sport is not life. I am thinking about one young lady in particular who rejected the idea that basketball is life to the point that she didn't necessarily try her best and give all she had to being the best player she could be. I shared with her a different perspective that God was working out in me at the time...
I am created in the image of God for the sole purpose of reflecting His glory all the days of my life. He has given me gifts and talents, strength and weaknesses so that I can be light and salt in this dark world. So no, basketball or anything else for that matter, is not life, but whatever I do am doing I should do it wholeheartedly and obediently so the name of God will be glorified and souls will be won to His kingdom.
As we watched football practice today at Razorback Stadium and followed the kids through the autograph line, I think what an amazing platform athletes have to reach the world for Jesus. What an opportunity I have to connect with student-athletes as a former athlete and coach to show then the truth that was revealed to me.
So they can see that Jesus is life! The rest of just details.
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