I am Free!

One of my favorite songs we used to sing at our church in Evansville was "I am Free". Here is the Newsboys' version for your listening pleasure. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWv-UOHzaIc

I went on a ladies' retreat this weekend. The topic was Beloved and as God so often does, it was perfect timing for such a topic in my life.

Back in Evansville, I was part of an awesome women's Bible study. We met at McDonald's every other Saturday at 7:30am so to give our husbands an easier morning with kids. I can't count the number of times the topic or verses we studied would show up in the sermon at church that Sunday. It would also pop up on the radio or other places all the same time. It was so clear God was trying to hammer home a point.

Here I am in NW Arkansas and God is still hammering away on me. I have been wrestling with His love as compared to the love of others - my husband, family, friends, and even the world. I am trying to understand how to let God love me even when I don't feel loved by people. Or perhaps I feel unloveable all together. I just started studying the book, "The Search for Significance" by Robert S. McGee. I am doing it long distance along side my Evansville ladies. Chapter 1 explains how our significance can only be found on the foundation of God's love. As if that wasn't enough, I sign up for a retreat to hear all about how God is our beloved and we are His. Hmmmmm...is he trying to tell me something or what?

Isn't it awesome how the perfect God who created EVERYTHING pursues a relationship with me. He knows my deepest, darkest, ugliest parts and still he pursues me and knows me better than anyone else..

Psalm 139:13-18
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

God chooses to love me out of HIS goodness - not anything I do or don't do. God's pursuit of me and love for me is the ONLY reason I am loveable. Isaiah 64:6 says, "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away."

So when I understand this and accept it and allow God to love me I can respond to him in the freedom he intended. I am not bound by the imperfect love of broken people that will always disappoint.
I am free to enjoy his love.
I am free to share his love with others.
I am free to fear him and NOTHING else.
I am free to live out his purpose for my life.
I am free from guilt or shame.
I am free to lay down the heavy baggage of my past.
I am free to dance and sing.
I am free to rest.
I am free to happily obey his commandments.
I am free to seek him and not the approval of others.

I AM FREE!

Thank you, Lord for loving me with your perfect, infinite love. Thank you for demonstrating your love through the shed blood and resurrection of your only son, Jesus Christ. Remind me of your love when I start to think I can do life without you in the driver's seat. Forgive me for seeking the approval of man before you. I don't want to settle for earthly treasures that will all pass away. I want the eternal blessings you have prepared for me. Thank you for your relentless pursuit of me.

- Amen