In Sickness and in Health

I have learned something new about being a wife in the past week. Tyrone had surgery last Wednesday to have his wisdom teeth removed. I wasn't quite prepared for what I would experience. We all have certain perceptions of the people in our lives. I was forced to see Tyrone in a different light which turned some of my perceptions on their ear.

He has never had surgery of any kind, therefore, never been under anesthesia. He was concerned about that , but was otherwise pretty calm (on the exterior anyway) about the procedure. We prayed over him as a family Tuesday night, and I prayed after he went back to the "operating room." Lydia and I played in the waiting room until the nurse came out to let me know Tyrone was finished and we could drive to the back door to pick him up. When we loaded Tyrone into the van, he seemed fairly alert and in good spirits. That didn't last long. He fell asleep before we were half way home (less than 15 minute ride). His face was wrapped in a elastic sling with pouches for ice packs. He looked a little pasty from surgery. He was quite swollen and a little bloody even. I was not prepared to see my husband like this, but there he was sitting next to me completely in my care.

He went straight to bed when we arrived home. A couple hours later he had taken his meds and I had fed him a few spoonfuls of vanilla yogurt. Opening his mouth, even slightly, was challenging and swallowing was very difficult. I am completely comfortable feed a baby, but feeding my husband under these circumstances was difficult. My perception of my strong husband was being shaken. By late afternoon he had "thawed out" and the pain was on him like gang busters. He didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to do. It was bad. There go my perceptions again. I was helpless to help him. I could only be there with him through it. He improved as the day turned into night enough to lay on the couch for a couple hours before our usual bedtime. Unfortunately, that was more than his body was ready for and he got sick. This was another stretch for me since I don't handle bodily fluids very well.

As we settled into bed, finally, I realized this is a good albeit simple example of "for better or worse" and "in sickness and in health". My perceptions of my strong, brave husband were temporarily non-applicable. He was vulnerable and very much dependent on me to take care of him. It happened naturally though. He trusted me to be there for him and do what needed to be done. I was happy to do whatever he needed, but it took some adjustment and I was not comfortable seeing him like this. Tyrone has seen me in this vulnerable, helpless place a number of time. I have delivered 3 babies with no epidural, had laproscopic surgery, and a few other things. I, on the other hand, am fairly inexperienced since he has only had a sprained ankle and the flu a few times.

I have a new appreciation for couples who go through far greater circumstances these. It is a true test of our love and commitment to our spouse and our marriage vows.  I don't know what other challenges we will face as husband and wife, but I know God will see us through. I know he will give us the abilities, whatever they might be, to help each other through anything from wisdom teeth "'til death do us part."

Thank you, Lord, for the opportunity to beomce a better wife. I am humbled that only now have my wedding vows become so relevant. Please use this experience to draw us closer together and closer to you. Thank you for the gift of my husband, and forgive me when I fail to see him or treat him as a precious gift from you. Lead me in the path of the Proverbs 31 wife.

Proverbs 31:10-12, 23, 27-29
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
...
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
...
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Amen.