Thankful for my Sufferings

"Let suffering be the door you walk through that draws you to deeper intimacy with Jesus. Suffering can do that, if we let it. And though it would never be the doorway we would choose, it is one we will never regret walking through."

This is a quote one of my Facebook friends posted from something she had read from John Eldredge.  The title was "We can have understanding or we can have Jesus" It is so true. We often seek to understand our circumstances through our own limited knowledge, and we forget to consult God who has the entire view of our lives right in front of him with HIS BEST in mind for our whole journey. He knows how today's triumphs will help us through tomorrows troubles. He knows how tomorrow's suffering with give us perspective and wisdom to celebrate next week's successes.

So on this Thanksgiving I want to reflect on the challenges I have faced that have helped shape me for this season of life. These are the things I want to be thankful for this year because without them I don't think I would have many of my rewards.

I am thankful for "oops" pregnancies because without them I would not have 2 (Maiesha and Chloe) of our 4 children.

I am thankful for 2 miscarriages because they helped me understand how fragile our lives are and how much I need to trust God.

I am thankful for my Grandpa Keppeler's funeral because I learned how to worship God through my grief.

I am thankful for having precancerous cells on my cervix because I learned that I am not invincible and must live every day to the fullness of  the Glory of God for I don't know how many days I have been given on this earth.

I am thankful for the marriage challenges we have faced because I have learned how to be a better wife and I can share my story to encourage other wives in their own struggles.

I am thankful for having to walk away from "dream jobs" because it has given me time to devote to being the mom my children need.

I am thankful for having to say good-bye to friends each time I have moved because it pushes me to connect with new people wherever I go.

I am thankful for the pain of 4 epidural free deliveries because I have a little glimpse of the pain Jesus experienced to die in my place to save me from my sins.

I am thankful for fouling the best shot put throw of my college career because I learned that I don't get any "do-overs" so I must make the most of every opportunity. I also learned that I cannot achieve success through a fear of failure.

I am thankful for falling 20 rebounds short of 1,000 in high school basketball because it reminds me to give all my effort all the time so I don't fall short as a wife, a mom, a friend, and an employee.

My sufferings seem small as compared to other people's stories, but they are mine and they are real for me. As the quote states at the top of this entry they have each helped draw me into a deeper intimacy with my Savior. I don't have to understand why, but I do have to trust that God has painted a masterpiece even though I can only see part of the canvas.

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:1-4 NIV