Baby Girl has a Name

Tuesday night I experienced something new as a pregnant woman. I couldn't sleep. I have been progressively more and more uncomfortable the last few weeks. Body parts go numb and tingly. My enlarged abdomen makes it hard to sit up or roll over and I must support it with a pillow when laying on my side. As a rule, I don't like to complain and don't like complainers, but I am making an exception being that this is my fourth baby. I am in a new class of parenting where I get to use having 4 children as an excuse for my short comings. Ha Ha! Not really. I do like sarcasm. So while I was awake Tuesday night from 3:30 to 5:15 A.M. I decided to write in my journal. Here a little excerpt from my hours of sleeplessness.

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It is 4:15a.m. and I can't sleep. This is a first for me. It has a lot to do with pregnancy. My legs are a little tingly and numb. My belly hurts most any way I turn or lay. My mind is full of so many thought about life right now. I feel a bit hungry too.

We have had no luck with baby names mostly because we admit to being a little indifference about baby girl's arrival. I have also not found many names that seem to fit. I really believe, however, that naming this precious baby will help us feel more enthusiastic and connect us to her in a more positive way. It has been a real challenge to accept what has been happening inside my body these past 7 months. It has been difficult to fathom life with a newborn again and parenting 4 children.

I have been searching for names occasionally, but nothing has really jumped out at me. A few names made my "short list", but no favorites. I have been praying that God will reveal the right name in the right time. I prayed that it would be obvious when the name God had chosen for our third daughter came along.

A couple weeks ago my dad suggested the name Chloe. He had made some other silly, even ridiculous suggestions, which annoyed me greatly, but Chloe was a legitimate idea. I take baby naming very seriously. Each of our children's names has specific mean and/or a story to explain its significance. I shared the name Chloe with Tyrone, and to my surprise, he liked it. He also pointed out this was the first time my dad had made a name suggestion and that seemed to mean something to him. As I thought more about it, that meant something to me too since I have felt disconnected from him in recent years.

I looked up the meaning of Chloe. It means "verdant and blooming". My first thought was what does verdant mean? Well, it means "green with vegetation; covered with growing plants or grass; of the color green". It seemed to be very symbolic of this pregnancy and the new direction God has been turning our family. New growth and vegetation where there has been weeds and infertile soil. A sign of new life that can only come when we trust God in the darkest of times. When we find ourselves in and pit of death (Psalm 40:2) and look up to find His outstretched hand reaching down to pull us into His light.

That's what Chloe means to our family. New beginning. New life. Renewed hope. Rekindled light. Restored love and relationship. Much of my indifference has melted away with this decision. I am looking forward to holding baby Chloe for the first time in 7 weeks, give or take, and putting her name and her face together.

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I was patient while I waited for the Lord.
    He turned to me and heard my cry for help.
² I was sliding down into the pit of death, and he pulled me out.
    He brought me up out of the mud and dirt.
He set my feet on a rock.
    He gave me a firm place to stand on.
³ He gave me a new song to sing.
    It is a hymn of praise to our God.
Many people will see what he has done and will worship him.
    They will put their trust in the Lord. - Psalm 40:1-3 (NIrV)

It gets better. Yesterday, when I shared baby's name with Jeremiah and Maiesha, Jeremiah turned a corner. He said, "I like that name. I know I am special and I think I like this baby now." Those were the sweetest words he could have said.