Not Finished Yet

Where am I today? Who am I today? I stood in front of the bathroom mirror this morning and saw my reflection, but it is different than the image in my head. I don’t like that wrinkle above my nose between my eyebrows. I still see a 22 year old kid in my head. I see a 26 year old first time mommy. I see coach of high school kids. I see an athlete. Although I struggle with the image of me, I am joyful about the person I am becoming. A woman crafted in the image of my Savior. Worn by the trials I have faced but better for them for they have allowed me to draw nearer to the God who loves me and gave himself up for me. I am empowered. I am fierce. I am more patient and compassionate. I have a God-given vision for my life and a little of it rubs off on everyone I meet (Some refer to it as “The Lynette”.) I know where I am going even though I don’t know how my story will end.

I am listening to “In the Morning Light” by Yanni (showing my age there) as I write this. In fact it is what inspired me to start writing this. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkCX5xp_Crg

I am instantly transported back to my wedding day. This is the song that played as I walked down the aisle to marry Tyrone 14 years ago. I didn’t really know much that day. I knew I could spend my life with him. I knew I loved God and Jesus was my Savior, but I really don’t think he was Lord of my life yet. I was carefree yet fearful of what other people thought of me. I lacked wisdom, but I thought I knew it all. I didn’t know what it would really take to honor those vows we exchanged that day. There was no direction or purpose to me as far as I can remember. There was a champion in me however. I knew what it took to win. I knew how to compete. I knew how to love. I knew how to be reckless. I knew I wanted to be great but at what was the mystery.

In January 2010 I discovered my life verse. Psalm 25:4-5 “Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long.” There have been approximately 1,700 days since then and I have prayed this verse back to God more than 1,300 times. I kind of take it for granted, unfortunately, but sometimes I stop and realize just how much God has answered this simple prayer. I can’t begin to describe all the answers, but I know he is answering this prayer by the way he has expanded my territory over the past 5 years. He has entrusted me with 4 children and taught me how to disciple, pray for, and build relationships with them. He has entrusted me with the job of leading children’s ministry. That means helping children and families find their place in God’s story to become fully-devoted, world changing followers of Jesus. He has made my dream of going to Africa come true and given me the privilege of teaching others about him on platforms I could not have imagined. He has walked me through becoming the wife that my husband needs and carried me when I just wanted to give up. He has given me a voice to speak into the lives of countless college students and young adults which is only preparing me to be the mom of my own adult children someday.

Thank you, God that you had a path marked out for me long before I found it. Thank you, God for being faithful when I was faithless and only focused on me. Thank you, God for knitting me together in my mother’s womb with specific skills and talents that blossom as I mature in you. Thank you, God for answering my prayers and revealing more and more of yourself to me as I walk in step with my Jesus. Thank you, God for teaching me humility in the face of my mistakes. And most of all, thank you, God that you are not finished with me yet.

Do Life Big - A story about my Grandma

I am a person who often sees the value of a situation best in hindsight. I don’t know if that is good or bad, and it could just depend on what the situation is, but I love to start at the end of a story and work my way backward to see how the “finish line” was reached. I also love a good story. I love to hear a person share stories from his/her own life. I love the details of a story that make it come to life for the listener. I love to tell stories especially to illustrate a point or a lesson I have learned. 

The past couple weeks have been lived in hindsight. They have been sad and sweet as I have looked back at a lifetime of memories I shared with my Grandma, Margaret (Hart) Keppeler. She went to heaven to be with Jesus on June 2, 2015. It was somewhat unexpected. She was taken to the ER a couple days earlier for some pretty extreme stuff that was happening to her body. By Tuesday night she seemed to be stable and her doctor had decided to send her back to the nursing home where she had been living for nearly 2 years. While my mom was sharing all of this with me over the phone, my dad received the call from the hospital on his cell phone that she was gone. She died peacefully in her bed at the same age that Grandpa was 6 years ago when he passed – 89.

My mind instantly began to recall all of my favorite things about my grandma. I remembered things that I had not thought of in years. I grew up with her. My Dad and Grandpa farmed together ever since my Dad was 4 years old and he drove the tractor for the first time. We spend our summers in the barn playing. We were at their house all the time for holidays, family get togethers, and just to grab a piece of hard candy from the dish during baling season. We sat at the piano with her countless times and sang Sunday school songs and two of her favorites – “This Old House” and “I’ll Fly Away”.

Grandma was feisty. She always spoke her mind, but it was out of love. She always told jokes and silly stories. She always laughed and smiled big. Joy radiated from her. She was a little crazy sometimes too, but was just part of who she was and what made her so special. She sold door to door Avon for nearly 25 years and she told my aunt Christine once that the only reason she did it was so that she could visit with people. I could write for days about all the things she did.

In my hindsight view of Grandma, I realize that I am a lot like her. My boldness to talk to strangers (so they quickly become friends), my lack of housekeeping skills, and my love for a great story come from her. Most recently I have been more focused on looking for joy in every situation (Check out “Fight Back with Joy” by Margaret Feinberg), and that's what my Grandma did. You could not help but smile with her. My love for Jesus and his saving grace have a lot to do with time spent with her.

I was given the opportunity to speak at Grandma’s funeral. My role was to kick off the time of family remembrances. It was a perfect funeral (if I dare say that is such a thing) and she would have loved it. Cousin Frank played old hymns on the piano just like she would have – cords only and loud – and he spoke of how she and her sisters (his mom and aunt) encouraged him to keep banging on the piano keys. We laughed together as we all shared. My husband Tyrone even stood up and shared a story and credited her with being the most joyful person he has ever met. Cousin Shirley spoke of a generation that has now all passed. Grandma’s sister Annabelle was the first of her 8 siblings to die when she was 16 years old. She spoke of their reunion now so many years later.

As God always does, he gave me a song for this occasion. It was perfect and inspired me to speak at the funeral. Some of the lyrics from “Do Life Big” by Jamie Grace are https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XziPUuptdOQ

It’s like a new day. Woke up to hear You say

I came to give you life so spread your wings and fly

Now go and show no fear you are enough to change the atmosphere

So go and do life BIG

I wanna do life BIG

I wanna love, I wanna live every day I live

I wanna do life BIG

I wanna love, serve, and give every chance I get

I wanna do life BIG

That was Grandma. She loved big! She served her family, friends, and community big! She lived with no fear and changed the atmosphere around her because of the big heart and passion for people that God placed in her. That’s how I see my grandma in me. I wanna do life big to honor her memory and carry on her legacy to my family, my community, and to the ends of the earth.

Pastor Fred closed his message about the hope Grandma had through Jesus Christ with a question. If Margaret had one more minute with us what would she say? Then he pulled up the song “Bushel and a Peck” from the 1955 production of “Guys and Dolls”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tfA0LokYuo

This was one of Grandma’s favorite things to say/sing to all whom she loved. We laughed and cried as we listened knowing that is exactly what she would say. “I love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck. You bet your pretty neck I do.”

 

I read Psalm 78:5-7 a month earlier (there’s hindsight again), and it fits here with Grandma’s story.

 It says,  

 For he issued his laws to Jacob;
    he gave his instructions to Israel.
He commanded our ancestors
    to teach them to their children,
⁶ so the next generation might know them—
    even the children not yet born—
    and they in turn will teach their own children.
⁷ So each generation should set its hope anew on God,
    not forgetting his glorious miracles
    and obeying his commands.

I wept and worshipped God as we closed by singing “Amazing Grace”. I raised my hands to heaven in that little country church thankful that God is faithful and he has redeemed me through the blood of Jesus. I am thankful he has done amazing things in and through my family and it’s my turn to teach my children so they will take their place in God’s story to make his name great so every tribe, nation and tongue with know and worship him.

 

 

 

 

Blessed to be a Blessing

Do you ever sit and reflect back across your life to see how you arrived at this moment? I am compelled to do this during difficult times, but even more so in times like right now when I sense the Spirit of God moving and bringing my dream into focus. If you have never dared to dream, take some time, find an inspirational spot and ask God to help you dream about the purpose he has planned for your unique life. He just might blow your mind! And once he blows your mind, be brave enough to trust him and follow the path he has laid out for you.

Think about Abram (We know him better as Abraham). He was just chillin’ one day – at the age of 75 - when the God of the universe dropped in and said I choose you.  God said,

“I will make you into a great nation

and I will bless you;

 I will make your name great,

and you will be a blessing.

 I will bless those who bless you,

and whoever curses you I will curse;

and all people on earth

will be blessed through you.” Genesis 12:2-3 (NIV)

Abram was a regular guy. He did know God and desired to serve him. Genesis 15:6 says “Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness.” Abram made plenty of mistakes even after this declaration of Abram’s salvation by the Lord, but it is clear he did love God and was willing to obey him even when it didn’t make sense. God changed his name from “exalted father” to “father of many”, and we are the product of the covenant God made with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob – we, like them, are blessed to be a blessing.

I am closing in on my 37^th birthday and a few years ago I was concerned about this aging thing. I was so impatient and scared. While still in my 20s I would wonder why haven’t I “arrived” at the BIG thing I am supposed to be doing? I would look at other women who were doing things I thought I should be doing and asked why not me yet? I was jealous. I couldn’t really be happy for their success at being a blessing because I was so concerned about my thing and why I wasn’t being used in the gifts and talents God had clearly given me. We had a 4^th child and if I am honest, I was concerned that that would only set me back. As my children get older we face challenges in parenting that on the surface are just nuisances and bring out my insecurities and fears which I certainly don’t want anyone to see.

Now here I sit on my couch thousands of years after Abraham’s epic story, and I am beginning to wrap my brain around how God is blessing me so I can be a blessing to all nations. God has positioned our family here in Fayetteville, AR to understand our place in His story and be completely sold out to it. My God dream isn’t coming true on accident. It isn’t happening in spite of anything. It is coming true because of His faithfulness and fierce love for me. It is all coming together because of a clear choice to spend time with God developing a relationship with him as he has designed. It is coming from the answered prayer that God make me teachable and useable. It is born out of obedience and learning to surrender to His will. It comes from an understanding that when I die to myself and allow Christ to live, I am more me than I ever could be on my own.  It is happening through transparency with our children and allowing God to refine me through parenting these beautiful gifts he has entrusted to us. The dream is coming into clear view as a result of being content with where I am and trusting that God will continue to work out every detail.

This song beautifully explains where I am right now and I couldn’t be more excited. I have never been so happy to be patient and so giddy about the future. Every day I am more alive thanks to God’s covenant with Abraham that he was blessed to be a blessing so that I can now take my place in His story and be a blessing too.

“In Over My Head” by Bethel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv3-TDdD1pM

More specifics are coming soon!

Our African Adventure

Where do I begin? Our trip to Ethiopia and Kenya was beyond anything I could have ever hoped or imagined. God showed up in big ways and I could talk for hours about his faithfulness and provision. From beginning to end, I wouldn’t change a thing. We traveled for 23 hours to get there and 26 hours to get home. We lacked some of the “modern conveniences” of home. We learned to trust God when we were tired, scared, sick and unable to talk to Daddy and little sisters. We saw beautiful things and sad things. We experienced worship in a difference language but it was clear God was the same. We were encouraged and inspired by the joy and contentment of Ethiopian believers. We taught Weave’s The Big Story training to provide them with new tools to use in their homes and classrooms. It was incredible to be a part of equipping believers to help them raise up the next generation of Ethiopian believers who will help fulfill the Great Commission.

We couldn’t help but notice the extreme poverty all around us, but there was a pleasant and joyful nature to most every person we encountered. We didn't want to fix it we just wanted to experience life with these beautiful people. The people were generous and warm hearted. There was an intimacy from the way they greeted one another (and us) to their hospitality. The landscape and simplicity of life was refreshing. I had to stop and remind myself often that I was standing on the continent of Africa. I remember stepping out on our balcony to watch the sunrise our first morning in Ethiopia. I had only slept for a few hours but I was awake and alive like never before. I was so overwhelmed by God's faithfulness to bring me to this place. We tasted new foods and went a little overboard. In my enthusiasm for "fitting in" I ate a little too much new food. The bread and spices did not agree with me but I credited it all to having the complete experience. I never once thought to complain about my digestive issues. 

 

I remember our first year living in Arkansas and how difficult it was. I was so sad that I had given up teaching and coaching. I didn't know when or if those things would ever come back to me. I realized this as I stood in the church at the training one day. It seemed like such an easy choice now. I was teaching again and not just teaching, but teaching people about God's word in Ethiopia, Africa. You talk about God giving me pearls when I was holding on to a string of plastic beads. (Google the pearl necklace story.) God's plans are SO MUCH BETTER than ours. I never could have imagined this would be my opportunity to teach again. The icing on the cake was that I was able to include Jeremiah and Maiesha into the lessons I taught. I shared stories from our lives that connected to these Ethiopian believers and helped them better grasp the material. Wow! That all I can say is WOW!

At the 2 day training we taught in Ethiopia, we met a 3 year old little girl named Roi who attended the training with her mom each day. Roi will be 4 in May and she was the Ethiopian version of our Lydia. She was full of energy and was always talking and smiling. She was such a blessing to us. She spoke a little English and would say “com’on” each time she wanted to play. We are friends now on Facebook so she and Lydia can meet and so our families can stay connected.

Jeremiah and Maiesha were amazing. About 36 hours after arriving in Addis Ababa they took a cab 40 minutes across town with Amy, our guesthouse manager, to an elementary school while I went to our first training day. They jumped into English and Math lessons with 1^st and 3^rd graders. I was nervous to let them go without me, but knew I couldn't deprive them of such a great opportunity. We went to an orphanage in both Addis Ababa and Nairobi – each very different but in both they were so excited to serve. They played games with kids their own age that spoke no English and cuddled with babies who will hopefully be reunited with their mommies one day soon. We called Jeremiah the baby whisperer. They participated during training with some of the activities and talked to kids in a Sunday school class about God’s mission and sharing Jesus with kids. They kept the energy high and even cooked scrambled eggs for everyone each morning at the guesthouse. They made a lifelong friendship with “uncle” Menge – our host and ministry partner. Jeremiah has really struggled being home. It was as if he discovered what he is designed to do. He became Ermias (air-me-as is Ethiopian for Jeremiah) and was learning the language. He loved it every time someone asked if he was Ethiopian. He bonded so quickly with people. I know this is just the beginning of his world travels for the sake of God's mission to reach the unreached. Maiesha loved this experience, but she did go through some homesickness and even altitude sickness. She started rough and finished strong.  

 

In Kenya we had the opportunity to take a little adventure to Hell's Gate National Park. What started as a drive through safari to look for wildlife turned into a grand adventure. We decided to take a 15 minute hike into a gorge. A few minutes in a young Kenyan boy named Dennis was leading us on a climb down into the gorge over slippery rock walls and past hot springs. Keep in mind Maiesha and I were wearing plastic flip-flops and I had on a dress. It didn't matter - I wasn't about to miss this. After our hour and a half hike we finally found giraffes after seeing lots of buffalo, zebras and warthog plus a few other animals. We drove by Naivasha Lake the home of over 5,000 hippos. On our way back to Nairobi we realized we were only a few 100 yards away from the Logonot volcano. (It erupted about 100 years ago and shaped the landscape of the park and was responsible for its name.) It was in the Great Rift Valley and we were supposed to be driving up on the rim. We took off across the valley on a dirt road (Google maps called it a hiking trail) to make the climb back to the rim. It was 3 miles of the roughest terrain I have ever been on but it seemed normal for an afternoon adventure in Kenya.

 I know we will be sharing stories from this trip, our first international experience, for the rest of our lives. These stories will become illustrations in Bible studies, lessons, and conversations. God is good! Thanks again to everyone who supported us throughout this great adventure. We couldn’t have done it without you. I hope we have inspired you to continue to serve God through praying, going, sending, welcoming and mobilizing so that God’s name will be made great so that every tribe, nation and tongue will know and worship him.

 

May the nations praise you, O God. Yes, may all the nations praise you. Then the earth will yield its harvest, and God, our God, will richly bless us. Yes, God will bless us, and people all over the world will fear him. Psalm 67:5-7

Africa - my #Goddream come true

I have been on one mission trip in my life. I was a junior in high school and we flew to Arizona to help on a Native American reservation for a couple days then we explored Arizona for the rest of spring week. It was a valuable experience but it didn’t “cost” me very much. The couple who led the trip paid for pretty much everything so I didn’t have to raise support. Our service project was great. I remember helping to build a sidewalk and visiting with a few people. I remember eating a meal with some of the Native Americans – real authentic food they prepared themselves. That trip gave me a love for Arizona and exposed me to people who were different than me.

Fast forward about 20 years and I am sitting at Loafin’ Joes with Carissa Potter discussing children’s ministry for the 2014-15 school year. She was sharing about her adventures and world travels with her job as the Director of Weave (www.weavefamily.org). She is one of those people that is so passionate about what she does that you can help but “get some of it on you” when she talks. So I seized the moment and asked if she would ever consider taking me with her on one of her international adventures. She quickly answered yes and seemed excited about my interest. I also mentioned how I thought my big kids, Jeremiah and Maiesha, would want to go too. She was excited about that too.

Rewind to my third grade year of elementary school. I remember missionaries from our church sharing about their lives and ministry in the Ivory Coast (western Africa). I sat in the back of our Alliance church sanctuary and wrote down as many notes as my little hand could write. We still did show and tell at school so I took all my new found knowledge to school and shared it with my class. I think I even made a map. I was fascinated. Africa was this place that I had touched through someone else’s life and stories. Ever since then Africa has been on my heart. There has been a growing desire to encounter the people and cultures of Africa.

Fast forward to September 2014, Carissa and I are having lunch again to talk children’s ministry and get more details about her trip to Ethiopia and Kenya (east Africa) in the spring of 2015. She had a shell of a plan and some specific ways that I could be a part of her team. She had also thought about how Jeremiah and Maiesha could play a role and serve – not just tag along. Tyrone and I had already talked through it and I gave him the new details. He was a bit nervous, but was onboard with it. I remember driving to pick up Lydia and Chloe from preschool after lunch that day and praying, “God is this really something you want us to do? Is this really my dream coming true?” I just started crying and the only word that would come out of my mouth was “Yes!”

Since that day we have purchased passports and lots of stamps. We have mailed letters and made contact with more than 125 families in at least 6 states to ask for their financial support. It will cost about $6600 for us to make this journey. The plane tickets were purchased. The living arrangements have been made. The service projects are being ironed out. The training material is being written that our team will teach. The daily devotions have been written and I have chosen which ones I will use to lead in my small groups. We have scheduled our first of 4 meetings as a family with Carissa to prepare our hearts and minds for all that we will experience in this foreign land.  The plan is coming together. I am so excited I can’t stop telling everyone I meet about it. As each piece is put in place, the reality of what we are doing is actually setting in. This is just the beginning of a life of following God for Jeremiah and Maiesha. It is a dream come true for me. This is all the “easy” part. Saying yes to this was the easiest part. The greatest test, the biggest stretch, the hardest part has been trusting God to provide this seemingly insurmountable amount of money.

You see we started our Total Money Makeover one year ago on February 1. We don’t use credit cards. We are working hard to eliminate all of our debit. We have a plan to finish that (except for our mortgage) this year. How will we pay for this if the support doesn’t come? Some days I am just scared, and that makes me grumpy and short tempered. Some days I question whether I am really supposed to be doing this now. “W.A.I.T. just one minute,” God says when I get stuck in those hopeless thoughts. He says remember that day when you said yes. You said yes to me and I don’t make mistakes. He says do you believe I am in control or not? Do you believe that I listen and answer your prayers or not? He simply asks me to trust Him even when it is hard and looks impossible.

God is faithful, and he is providing. At our church we were challenged to read through the entire Bible this year. I am using The One Year Bible Plan on the YouVersion app. The very morning after I send out the first of our letters my daily reading spoke directly to my fears and gave me instruction on how to pray.

Psalm 5:1-3 “O Lord, hear me as I pray; pay attention to my groaning. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you. Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.”

It said wait expectantly! Not fearfully. Not doubtful. Not disbelieving. EXPECTANTLY!

God has provided encouraging words from friends and coworkers who have been through support raising campaigns. Their words and stories bring new energy and peace to our journey. He has provided friends who are excited about what we are doing and want to be part of it through prayer and giving. He has provided financially for our passports and stamps through our budgeting habits. And today I received the first giving update, and after just 2 weeks, he has already provided some generous givers. We have a long way to go, but looking at this through God’s lens is the lesson I am learning yet again. I have so much joy when I rest in him. I have so much peace when I praise him for what he has accomplished. I have no worries when I stand on his promises. I can say, with confidence, bring it on because I will follow God wherever he leads.

“Let the Waters Rise” by Mike’s Chair https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIkQ7YVys_A

A 4-legged reminder

Our first baby is our dog Buford. We adopted him when he was 8 months old from a friend. He was perfect for us. He was already house trained and could do all the typical dog tricks. He was high energy, but always willing to just sit with us and snuggle. We swore we would not be “those people” who referred to one another as mommy and daddy in reference to a pet, but pretty quickly that was naturally what happened. He was in the house whenever we were in the house. We walked each morning and sometimes at night. We went to the park and even took him on a boat ride with friends and let him play fetch in the lake. As the years have passed, Buford has journeyed with us from South Carolina to Indiana to Arkansas. He learned to be a full time outside dog after Maiesha was born. He learned to play in snow and ice in Indiana. We watched him mourn the loss of his “brephew” (mamma and brother made babies and we rescued one), Bailey, when he died from a fungus. He learned to take fewer walks since Chloe was born.

We celebrated Buford’s 11^th birthday on November 6^th. That doesn’t sound old to us 2 legged creatures, but for a large breed 4-legged friend it is kind of old. We noticed he has been slowing down, but a couple weeks ago after returning from a trip we really noticed a problem with his hind left leg. We took him to the doggy doctor and discovered he is suffering from some level of neurological failure and hip dysplasia. For the first time we are faced with the mortality of our oldest companion. Medicine has helped a lot so the immediate threat of having to say good-bye has been relieved, but the reality is this might be his last Christmas with us.

As we prepared for a follow-up appointment Thursday we discovered Buford had pushed through the gate and left home. He is not good at returning however, so this is a serious thing especially since we don’t know how well he would hold up given the neurologically problems. Fortunately, some nice girls just a few blocks away found him and we were able to bring him how only about 24 hours after he left. We were so thankful and very much reminded of the first time Buford left home. The miracle story that changed our lives 10 years ago just a couple months after we first brought him home.

It was a warm, rainy Friday evening when I arrived home from work to find the gate to our chain-link fence standing open. I called for Buford and searched for him in the muddy backyard (not much grass in the pine forest we lived in) but he was gone. It looked like someone had come into the yard and he chased them off. I called Tyrone immediately and he came home as quickly as he could from school. He drove the neighborhood and nearby neighborhoods with no success. We stood in our house crying and fearful of what may have happened to him. Little did I know in those moments God was about to do something incredible. You see…we had just celebrated our 3^rd wedding anniversary and I was in the first trimester of my pregnancy with Jeremiah. We were closing in on the 2 year anniversary of Tyrone’s departure from church. He had continued to attend our young marrieds small group, but had not stepped foot in our church in nearly 2 years. Well, as we stood there deciding to carry through with our plans to attend small group that night I noticed Tyrone look up toward the ceiling. Later that weekend he told me that was when he had prayed and asked God to bring Buford home. He promised God he would return to church if Buford would come home. Rather than looking at this as one of those ultimatum prays, I think God really wanted to get Tyrone’s attention because less than 5 minutes after he prayed 2 girls that lived a few houses down came running with Buford. They had found him. He was a muddy mess but he was home. Two days later, Tyrone went to church for the first time in nearly 2 years. He has only missed a handful of Sundays since.

I googled “God is faithful” and 2 Timothy came to the top of the search results. As I read verses 1:1-13 and 2:1-13, I see now that God was trying to get my attention that night too. Paul is encouraging Timothy to remain faithful and trust God because of the hope we have in Jesus. He tells him to keep proclaiming the good news even if he has to suffer for it. He says don’t be ashamed of it. He says don’t be weak or fearful because God has given us power and love and self-control. Those two years that I went to church alone were scary, but God used it to show me how to trust him with things I can’t control. He showed me that I had been “playing church” and often only went to church because it’s “the right thing to do”. He revealed that my identity was in appearing that I “had it all together.” As I read 2 Timothy, I feel like Paul wrote these words of encouragement for me now as I reflect on this story. I need reminders of his faithfulness constantly because I can slip back into all those things he healed me of during those 2 years. I especially need reminders when I feel like he is asking me to wait (with no explanation) and I know he is asking me to wait for something big right now. Paul wraps us his words of encouragement with this:

Here is a saying you can trust.

If we died with him,
    we will also live with him.
If we don’t give up,
    we will also rule with him.
If we say we don’t know him,
    he will also say he doesn’t know us.
Even if we are not faithful,
    he remains faithful.
    He must be true to himself.    2Timothy 2:11-13 (NIrV)

God is saying hold on. Trust me. I got this. Be patient. Stick with me, I am not going anywhere. Even when you forget to trust me, I am still faithful because that’s who I am.

We have seen God do incredible things in the 10 years since that miracle night. Every time Buford goes missing it is a reminder of what God did that day and to seek what God is asking of me today. Someday Buford will leave us for good – sooner than any of us would like, but his place in our family will always remind us that God is faithful and he always answers.

I remember...

We have been spending a lot of time remembering at our house lately. We have spent many hours browsing through our massive collection of digital pictures. We purchased our first digital camera in 2004 and since Jeremiah was born in 2005 we have not stopped taking pictures. In fact, it has only become easier since we purchased our first smart phones about 2 years ago. The kids get so excited to sit down and search the photo archives. They cheer for pictures of milestone events. They hit play over and over and over again on short video clips while laughing hysterically at each other’s antics.  It has been some of my favorite moments to open just one more folder of pictures and discover forgotten treasures as a family.

I recently finished leading a book study with a lovely group of wives and on our final evening together we shared stories from how we met and fell in love with our husbands. I took some time to look back at wedding photos to rediscover how our family’s journey began. Tyrone and I are planning a 2 night get away in December and I am going to pack the wedding albums so we can look through them together.

Tyrone and I often lie in bed at night and remember the lives we lived in South Carolina, in Indiana, and now more than 3 years in Arkansas. We have even spent time searching YouTube in order to listen to songs we loved in the college dating years. And movies…don’t get me started on movies. Tyrone loves to discover an old “classic” that he loved as a kid so we can pass it on to our kids.

I love to remember, but it takes effort. It takes time. It requires that I slow down from the pace of life. It means I can’t just crash at the end of the day or shuffle the kids off to self-entertaining activities. It is so important though. That is what I have realized! Remembering is what keeps me grounded. It is what keeps me willing to love and forgive. Remaining aware of the life I have lived – the beautiful and horrible -  inspires me to keep living. It helps me keep God’s faithfulness in mind.

Remembering God’s faithfulness is what gives me hope for the future. Hope means to believe, desire or trust. When I take the time to remember what God has done for me, I can more easily trust the plans he has for me today and the plans he has for our family generations from now. I have been reading Isaiah 40 the past few days. God is comforting his people by helping them remember who he is.

Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
    Have you not understood since the earth was founded? (v. 21)

“To whom will you compare me?
    Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.
²⁶ Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens:
    Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one
    and calls forth each of them by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
    not one of them is missing. (v. 25-26)

Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak. (v. 28-29)

Tonight we celebrated together as a family as we read our family Bible verses before bedtime. We have been praying Acts 16:14 for Lydia since we chose her name just a couple weeks before she was born.

“One of those listening was a woman from the city of Thyatira named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth. She was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul’s message.”

Last night I had the awesome privilege of praying with Lydia so she could ask Jesus to be her savior. It was so sweet and completely genuine. She said, “Mommy…I want to be in God’s family.” We talked through what Jesus did for her and she prayed each word clearly and carefully. She popped up from her bed to give me a big hug after she said “Amen.” We shared the news with Jeremiah and Maiesha this morning and they each congratulated her and were so happy for her. Jeremiah said, “See you in heaven.” Maiesha said, “Only one more to go.” (Referring to Chloe) Tonight we read her verse, not as something we hope for, but as something that has come to pass. We read it as an answered prayer. I remember the hundreds of times I prayed that verse over her for nearly 4 years wondering when she would understand and believe. We did not give up and God was faithful.

Remembering gives me hope. Remembering helps me to trust. When life gets hard, that is when I need to stop and remember the most. Remember our happiest of times. Remember my worst days. Remember my wedding vows. Remember my first moments as a mommy. Remember the way Tyrone sang to me at our wedding. Remember how God carried me through 2 miscarriages and nearly having cancer. Remember Maiesha’s first day of preschool. Remember how God provided a place to live. Remember how he directed our path to Arkansas. Remember the date and story when each of our children prayed to receive Jesus as their savior. I could go on for days…

Isaiah 40 finishes with one of my favorite verses in all of scripture, and now I think I understand it a little bit better. God called me to remember and then explains the triumph I will experience when I trust (hope in) him.

but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint. (v. 31)